Psychics the Flintstones and the Economy

As a divorce attorney I sometimes though not always equate myself with a fortune teller. Once a potential client comes to speak with me I can pretty much determine whether or not they will be back to see me or another attorney and begin divorce proceedings. No, I don't have any statistical data on this but usually based on the types of questions asked of me I know if this is a chronic issue that will not be resolved or merely a "bitch" session as if I'm a free therapist allowing the individual to vent and complain about their spouse for 15 minutes or so.

We all would like to know things about our future and I am no exception. My Achilles heel is the Psychic world. No not the cheap fortune tellers on the boardwalk at Atlantic City, or the ladies who advertise out of their rented store fronts. I am not that proud to admit I spend ridiculous amounts of money when I choose to hear from the dead and seek out the masters of their field. Last week I treated my mother to a galley session with the very well known John Edward. Not to be confused with the politician John Edwards, with whom my confused son thought I was going to see but couldn't fathom why.

John Edward is a Long Island born and raised Psychic with amazing abilities,as one can ascertain from watching his television show and the ticket price he commands shows he his stature and demand. Looking for a present for my mother is getting increasingly more difficult now that she and my father can no longer travel, so when I saw that Edward was local and the date was on my deceased grandmother's birthday, I thought I was receiving a sign that we should attend this Galley reading.

The tickets and the website make it quite clear that even though you are paying an outrageous amount of money that no one is guaranteed a reading. Thinking however, that all the stars were in alignment and being the eternal optimist I am, I was sure that John would be calling up my deceased family to talk with me. I should have known however, upon our arrival that it would be a disappointing evening in that although we weren't' late the only seats available were in the last row. As a veteran watcher of the show however, I knew that if John was going to read me he would find me in the bathroom if my relatives were persistent enough.

Watching Edward go from family to family, all around us to no avail I started to become somewhat despondent. My friend who also joined us in this adventure attempted to raise my spirits by indicating that perhaps my dead relatives had nothing to say to me! Then when all I thought we would never get a reading John asked a group of people in front what the Flintstones reference meant to them. Seeing my golden opportunity I started to raise my hand and jump from the back row knowing John was looking for me. "What are you doing??" my mother gasped as she pulled my hand down. "Flintstones...that's us!! I almost yelled." "What are you saying?" asked my very concerned friend. "Barbera" I said, "The Flinstones were a Hanna-Barbera Production." I always say that when people mispronounce our name, as if I have two first names: Barbra. "No", claimed my friend, "listen he is all the way up there not back here...and he is asking for a Bam Bam or Pebbles."

Lost opportunity I still say, for I am sure that the reference was a meek relative throwing a curve ball out there. No we weren't read that night but my psychic abilities tell me we were supposed to be, just as they are telling me this slow divorce season brought on by the slow economy is just temporary.

It's a quality of life decision I tell all of my prospective clients. You can choose to stay miserable or move on and become happy. Divorce is certainly not cheap and should not be decided upon on a whim. But unlike the choice to see a psychic, seeking out a divorce attorney should be a well thought out decision. In that I don't see dead people or spirits during a consultation I can see when a party is miserable and would do well to seek a better life. Those in bad situations need to get over their guilt of breaking up dysfunctional families and find the money necessary to make their lives and the lives of their children healthier and happier. It was amazing to me that a psychic like John Edward was able to pack that room at $175.00 per head with no guarantees. I guess people find the money when they want to but not always when they need to.

Psychics the Flintstones and the Economy

As a divorce attorney I sometimes though not always equate myself with a fortune teller. Once a potential client comes to speak with me I can pretty much determine whether or not they will be back to see me or another attorney and begin divorce proceedings. No, I don't have any statistical data on this but usually based on the types of questions asked of me I know if this is a chronic issue that will not be resolved or merely a "bitch" session as if I'm a free therapist allowing the individual to vent and complain about their spouse for 15 minutes or so.

We all would like to know things about our future and I am no exception. My Achilles heel is the Psychic world. No not the cheap fortune tellers on the boardwalk at Atlantic City, or the ladies who advertise out of their rented store fronts. I am not that proud to admit I spend ridiculous amounts of money when I choose to hear from the dead and seek out the masters of their field. Last week I treated my mother to a galley session with the very well known John Edward. Not to be confused with the politician John Edwards, with whom my confused son thought I was going to see but couldn't fathom why.

John Edward is a Long Island born and raised Psychic with amazing abilities,as one can ascertain from watching his television show and the ticket price he commands shows he his stature and demand. Looking for a present for my mother is getting increasingly more difficult now that she and my father can no longer travel, so when I saw that Edward was local and the date was on my deceased grandmother's birthday, I thought I was receiving a sign that we should attend this Galley reading.

The tickets and the website make it quite clear that even though you are paying an outrageous amount of money that no one is guaranteed a reading. Thinking however, that all the stars were in alignment and being the eternal optimist I am, I was sure that John would be calling up my deceased family to talk with me. I should have known however, upon our arrival that it would be a disappointing evening in that although we weren't' late the only seats available were in the last row. As a veteran watcher of the show however, I knew that if John was going to read me he would find me in the bathroom if my relatives were persistent enough.

Watching Edward go from family to family, all around us to no avail I started to become somewhat despondent. My friend who also joined us in this adventure attempted to raise my spirits by indicating that perhaps my dead relatives had nothing to say to me! Then when all I thought we would never get a reading John asked a group of people in front what the Flintstones reference meant to them. Seeing my golden opportunity I started to raise my hand and jump from the back row knowing John was looking for me. "What are you doing??" my mother gasped as she pulled my hand down. "Flintstones...that's us!! I almost yelled." "What are you saying?" asked my very concerned friend. "Barbera" I said, "The Flinstones were a Hanna-Barbera Production." I always say that when people mispronounce our name, as if I have two first names: Barbra. "No", claimed my friend, "listen he is all the way up there not back here...and he is asking for a Bam Bam or Pebbles."

Lost opportunity I still say, for I am sure that the reference was a meek relative throwing a curve ball out there. No we weren't read that night but my psychic abilities tell me we were supposed to be, just as they are telling me this slow divorce season brought on by the slow economy is just temporary.

It's a quality of life decision I tell all of my prospective clients. You can choose to stay miserable or move on and become happy. Divorce is certainly not cheap and should not be decided upon on a whim. But unlike the choice to see a psychic, seeking out a divorce attorney should be a well thought out decision. In that I don't see dead people or spirits during a consultation I can see when a party is miserable and would do well to seek a better life. Those in bad situations need to get over their guilt of breaking up dysfunctional families and find the money necessary to make their lives and the lives of their children healthier and happier. It was amazing to me that a psychic like John Edward was able to pack that room at $175.00 per head with no guarantees. I guess people find the money when they want to but not always when they need to.

When You Can't Afford to Get Divorced...

Due to the current economic conditions, many couples are finding themselves unable to get a divorce. With stagnate home sales, the stock market down and the rise in unemployment, getting a divorce now may

not be financially feasible.

But what if living with your spouse is making you miserable and living in the same house seems like torture? What do you do then? Here are some ways to co-habitat in the same home with a spouse you rather divorce.

First, sit down and make a plan. If their is no hope left for your marriage and no chance for a reconciliation, yet you must live under the same roof, it is crucial that you put your differences aside for a moment and come up with a way to live together civilly. This is especially important if there are children in the house. You cannot continue to fight. You will be scarring you children for life.

Staying in an unhappy marriage can feel like being in prison. But if you cannot afford to separate, you must change you mind set and try to get along with your spouse for the time being. Thinking of your spouse as a friend or a roommate can help. The two you must control your emotions and plan your schedules so that the two of you are basically leading separate lives in the same house. Plan who is responsible for the kids on set days and times. If you are still sharing a bedroom, one of you should move into a spare room or sleep on the couch.

If you view your arrangement as a temporary solution and both of you can control yourself and co-exist without lashing out at each other, you can buy yourself some time until one of you can afford to move out. If however, there is any physical or mental abuse in the marriage, you need to think about moving in with friends or relatives for the time being. If that is not an option and you have no place to go, yet feel like you may be in danger, contact your local woman's shelter for help. You can find agencies online in your town that offer assistance. Remember, no matter how bad your finances are, you should never stay in home with a potentially dangerous spouse.

Why You Must Protect Yourself During Your Divorce...

The tragic story in the news right now is about Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson and how her mother, father and nephew were all brutally killed.

The suspect in custody is her sister's estranged husband. Supposedly, this man had threatened to kill his wife's family recently, but no one thought he was serious.

Sadly, murder and violence occurs in divorce cases routinely. I have written many times about how you must protect yourself if you have any reason to believe your ex could be dangerous. If your ex threatens you or a member of your family, BELIEVE him. Do not shrug it off as the rantings of someone upset by an impending divorce. Your ex may not act out, but if there is even the slightly possibility of him making good on his threat, you need to take action.

Call the police and get a restraining order. Do not go anywhere alone and make sure someone is with you at all times. You can never be "too safe". If you feel your family could be in harm's way, make sure the restraining order includes your family members and they exercise the same caution.

With great sorrow and tragedy often comes life lessons that can help or save others. I hope what happened to Jennifer Hudson's family will startle and wake up anyone who is a victim of domestic abuse and feels threatened by their spouse. Just because this case is in the media spotlight, does not mean that it is a rare incident. Please protect yourself and your family from an abusive partner and consider any verbal threats as a real possibility.

Yes I am Hawking my Book

I have been diligently reading how to market my now complete book, which if you haven't seen is now available on Amazon.com. I have also attempted to contact Barnes and Noble and Borders. As I figured there are all sorts of hoops one must jump through in order to make your book available through these big store. One idea I thought was possible however, was offered by Barnes and Noble. They suggest talking to the local manager of one of their stores and asking them to host an author's event. Of course all of the advertising is on the author but it is a way of introducing your book to a group of people all at once. As I was ruminating over this idea and liking it more each day I opened the paper today and read that one of my all time favorite authors is indeed having an event at the Barnes & Noble I was going to call. So here is how I imagined my meeting would go now with the manager.

"Hello, I my name is Janine Barbera. I am a local author with a book that just came out and I am inquiring about doing an event at your location."
Manager: "My location?"
Me: "Yes, Sir. I live locally and thought I could attract a decent number of individuals into the store."
Manager: "My location is sponsoring Nelson DeMille this week."
Me "Yes, I did read that, and frankly I planned to attend, he is one of my favorite authors."
Manager: "You see we really only host authors with a following. The idea is to attract people to the event and later they roam the store."
Me: "Yes, I do understand that and I thought perhaps on a slow week I would be able to have an event and bring some traffic into the store."
Manager: "What is a slow week? We are heading into the holiday season. And did I mention Nelson DeMille is having an event?"
Me. "Yes you did mention it."
Manager "Well we really only have events for established authors last week we hosted that guy from the Food Network."
Me: "Yes, I had never heard of him but I did see that."
Manager: "Hey I have a great idea...why not come to Nelson DeMille's event and ask him to mention your book? You know bring a bagful of copies and at the intermission tell him you are a big fan, these guys eat that up and maybe he will grab the mike and give you a shout out."
Me: "I'm not sure that is appropriate really..and I don't want to walk in like some bag lady.."
Manager: "No No trust me this will work...listen I feel bad for you but frankly this is the only way you will get any exposure here at Barnes & Noble. I have to go now, we are setting up for the DeMille event. Thanks for calling."

Yes I am Hawking my Book

I have been diligently reading how to market my now complete book, which if you haven't seen is now available on Amazon.com. I have also attempted to contact Barnes and Noble and Borders. As I figured there are all sorts of hoops one must jump through in order to make your book available through these big store. One idea I thought was possible however, was offered by Barnes and Noble. They suggest talking to the local manager of one of their stores and asking them to host an author's event. Of course all of the advertising is on the author but it is a way of introducing your book to a group of people all at once. As I was ruminating over this idea and liking it more each day I opened the paper today and read that one of my all time favorite authors is indeed having an event at the Barnes & Noble I was going to call. So here is how I imagined my meeting would go now with the manager.

"Hello, I my name is Janine Barbera. I am a local author with a book that just came out and I am inquiring about doing an event at your location."
Manager: "My location?"
Me: "Yes, Sir. I live locally and thought I could attract a decent number of individuals into the store."
Manager: "My location is sponsoring Nelson DeMille this week."
Me "Yes, I did read that, and frankly I planned to attend, he is one of my favorite authors."
Manager: "You see we really only host authors with a following. The idea is to attract people to the event and later they roam the store."
Me: "Yes, I do understand that and I thought perhaps on a slow week I would be able to have an event and bring some traffic into the store."
Manager: "What is a slow week? We are heading into the holiday season. And did I mention Nelson DeMille is having an event?"
Me. "Yes you did mention it."
Manager "Well we really only have events for established authors last week we hosted that guy from the Food Network."
Me: "Yes, I had never heard of him but I did see that."
Manager: "Hey I have a great idea...why not come to Nelson DeMille's event and ask him to mention your book? You know bring a bagful of copies and at the intermission tell him you are a big fan, these guys eat that up and maybe he will grab the mike and give you a shout out."
Me: "I'm not sure that is appropriate really..and I don't want to walk in like some bag lady.."
Manager: "No No trust me this will work...listen I feel bad for you but frankly this is the only way you will get any exposure here at Barnes & Noble. I have to go now, we are setting up for the DeMille event. Thanks for calling."

"Must Love Dogs"...

If you are a pet owner and also looking to meet someone new after your divorce you know how important it is to date someone who will accept and love your pet. There is no sense in dating someone who is allergic to cats or dogs or who is not interested in pets, if pets are an important part of your life.

Since I have both cats and dogs and consider them all important members of my family, anyone I date must love both dogs and cats and be able to put with the way I spoil and baby them. My Maltese dog, Luigi, sleeps next to me every night, will only eat if I mix beech nut turkey baby food into his dog food and will bite a stranger's ankles if not properly introduced. He does has some "issues" and any boyfriend of mine would not only have to understand this, but be willing to love him as much as I do.

So how do you find the perfect dog or cat loving mate? There is a new website I discovered that matches you will potential partners based on the type of animal you love and the type of breed. At www.therightbreed.com you can find other compatible singles interested in dating someone with pets. Some other ways to meet animal lovers, would be to visit dog parks or join a dog or cat meetup.com group(many have groups based on breeds).

If "must love dogs...or cats" is on your list of musts for a future partner, avoid the heartache of having to choice between your "best friend" and a new partner and make sure to ask a potential date about how he or she feels about pets before going out on that first date. This way you do not waste your time getting to know someone and possibly falling in love with someone who does not share your love of animals.

AN ECONOMIC DOWNTURN

I am taking a lesson from the political spin doctors. No longer will any of my clients suffer from marriage breakdown, crisis, crunch, turmoil or meltdown. Instead and in an attempt to instil a feel-good factor, they are going to have relationship downturns!

Woman arrested for killing virtual husband...

A woman in Tokyo was so upset about her "divorce" from her online husband, she broke into his account and killed his digital character. If that wasn't strange enough, she was arrested for illegally accessing a computer and manipulating electronic data.

A similar incident took place in August when a Delaware woman plotted a real life abduction of a boyfriend she met on the virtual reality site "Second Life".

Because we spend so much time on the computer and meet people on sites like my space, facebook and virtual gaming websites, we run the risk of confusing the real world with the online world. You can safely meet new friends and potential mates online, but you have to be extremely careful. You never know if you are communicating with a mentally unstable person.

I am sure both of the victims in the above examples had no idea they were playing a virtual reality game with someone who was not in their right mind. Thankfully no one was harmed in these incidents but it is important to protect yourself online and use caution.

Personally, I have met many wonderful people on the Internet and have developed new friendships and business acquaintances, so I don't think you need to be afraid of online relationships, but you should be careful.

Further evidence why McCain/Palin suck more than Obama/Biden

I stumbled across this today and found it to be an interesting point of view. It's attributed to Roger Leisner, but I cannot confirm the source or accuracy of the information. With all the irrelevant bullshit floating around about Barack Obama, this seems like a good perspective.

Obama/Biden vs McCain/Palin, what if things were switched around? ...think about it.

Would the country's collective point of view be different?
Could racism be the culprit?

Ponder the following:
What if the Obamas had paraded five children across the stage, including a three month old infant and an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter?
What if John McCain was a former president of the Harvard Law Review?
What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain had only married once, and Obama was a divorcee?
What if Michelle Obama was the wife who...became addicted to painkillers?
What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama had been a member of the Keating Five? (The Keating Five were five United States Senators accused of corruption in 1989, igniting a major political scandal as part of the larger Savings and Loan crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s.)

What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?
What if Obama couldn't read from a teleprompter?

What if Obama was the one who had military experience that included discipline problems and a record of crashing planes?
What if Obama was the one who was known to display...a serious anger management problem?What if Michelle Obama's family had made their money from beer distribution?

You could easily add to this list.....
Educational Background:Barack Obama: Columbia University - B.A. Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations. Harvard - Juris Doctor(J.D.)Magna Cum Laude

Joseph Biden: University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science. Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor(J.D.)

vs.

John McCain: United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899

Sarah Palin: Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study University of Idaho - 2 semesters -journalism Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism

Education isn't everything, but this is about the two highest offices in the land as well as our standing in the world.

You make the call.

Braving the Divorce Maze
My New Book is Available!

It has taken quite a while but my book is finally available for purchase. There is a link on this blog to Amazon.com. I am told there is also a link on Target.com. My brother has informed me that makes me a minor celebrity. Whatever that means. If you enjoy my blogs you will love my book. It is more or less a compilation of what I write here in a more orderly fashion. Ideally those contemplating divorce, or anyone who knows someone who is should read the book first before consulting with an attorney. The book is meant to be more or less a reference book or handbook for anyone in a marriage that may be less than perfect. In light of the divorce statistics that would mean just about everyone should read the book! If you enjoy the book please send me your comments or feel free to post a review on Amazon. If you don't like the book, I'm sorry and please vent your hatred elsewhere~!

Coming out this time of year makes the book the perfect gift, Amazon has gift wrap services available! Ok enough hawking the book...off to court.

Braving the Divorce Maze
My New Book is Available!

It has taken quite a while but my book is finally available for purchase. There is a link on this blog to Amazon.com. I am told there is also a link on Target.com. My brother has informed me that makes me a minor celebrity. Whatever that means. If you enjoy my blogs you will love my book. It is more or less a compilation of what I write here in a more orderly fashion. Ideally those contemplating divorce, or anyone who knows someone who is should read the book first before consulting with an attorney. The book is meant to be more or less a reference book or handbook for anyone in a marriage that may be less than perfect. In light of the divorce statistics that would mean just about everyone should read the book! If you enjoy the book please send me your comments or feel free to post a review on Amazon. If you don't like the book, I'm sorry and please vent your hatred elsewhere~!

Coming out this time of year makes the book the perfect gift, Amazon has gift wrap services available! Ok enough hawking the book...off to court.

The Perils of Dating After Divorce....

It can be scary to be single again after a divorce. It is tough putting yourself out there again and meeting new people. One benefit of marriage, unless your ex was cheating or violent, is knowing you are relatively safe from harm. We hear stories in the news about dates gone wrong, women losing their life savings to con artists and the increased risks of STDs.

One website is even offering a service now that will deliver an "e-card" to a partner informing them that you have an STD! How crazy is that? Can you imagine opening your email and reading "Just wanted to say Hi and by the way, I have an STD, get yourself checked out". Other websites offer background checks so that you can investigate your future dates and make sure they are not criminals.

So should you plan to do background checks and require a clean bill of health for all of your potential dates, post divorce? I think that may be taking it to the extreme. One thing we all have, and it is free, is our intuition. I believe our gut feelings always lead us in the right direction, even though we don't always listen.

Dating after divorce does not have to be frightening. Trust yourself to make the right judgment calls about new people you meet. Always listen to that little voice inside you, the one that warns you when something is not right. Focus on meeting safe, healthy people and you will. Remember, the very thing you fear the most is often what you attract. By being afraid to date and dwelling on what could go wrong, you can almost guarantee that will be your experience. Relax, have fun and enjoy this new chapter in your life.

PETROL PRICE

At last Petrol Price has returned (to less than a pound a litre at local filling stations). Good news for Ms Motorist tormented and devastated by the recent hike. But how is she responding? Will she give up her bicycle to readily embrace the power of Petrol again and what about those other Motorists who have been cautiously crawling along at 30 mph in derestricted areas or catching the bus? Are any of them able to believe that Petrol Price will remain static? Is it in fact only a matter of time before Petrol Price is off again?
It’s always difficult to shake off dependency but sometimes things can become so hard or heartbreaking that it’s the sensible option.

PEACHES

The newly-wed daughter of one of our better known but now older pop stars has apparently given an interview to Heat magazine in which she claims that she doesn’t necessarily believe that her marriage will last forever. Some will call her a pessimist, others a realist and there are those who will criticise her for being prepared to readily forget that part of the marriage vows which requires the couple to affirm their commitment “till death us do part”. Whichever, she’s only reflecting statistics and her own take on what she’s seen amongst family, friends and society at large.

Prayers Needed for "Pre-Divorce" Friends.....

After a divorce, friends are often divided into three categories. Friends that remain loyal to you and no longer associate with your ex, friends who remain loyal to your ex and no longer associate with you and the rare friends who do not take sides and remain friendly with you both.

I received some terrible news about a couple who I was once close to before my divorce. The husband was our best man at our wedding and also my ex-husband's childhood friend, so when we divorced I lost all contact with him and his wife. Their four year old son has been diagnosed with a rare form of brain cancer and only a 25% chance of survival.

This couple is now facing every parent's worst nightmare and my heart goes out to them. I believe in the power of prayer and studies have shown that the more people who pray for someone, the quicker they recover.

So I am asking if you could say a prayer or think a postive thought for little Sergio. His story

was featured in a local newspaper today and you can read about him at:

Benefit Sunday for Edison boy, 4, with rare brain cancer mycentraljersey.com

Stories like this put everything into perspective. No matter how difficult your divorce is or how bad life seems at times, it can always be worse. Taking time out to be grateful for what we do have is so important. As long as you have your health and your loved ones are safe and healthy, you can get through any difficult times.

I did something a little crazy...

Before my divorce, I was more conservative and reserved. For some reason, after the divorce, I began trying new things and became more adventurous. I walked across a bed of hot coals at a Tony Robbin Seminar, sang in front of 100 people( even though I cannot sing very well) and moved to a new town in a new state where I did not know anyone and had only visited twice on vacation.

I feel empowered when doing the very things that scare me the most. So when I saw the ad for "reality dating show host" on craigslist, it got my attention. But as I thought about making my audition video, I try to talk myself out of it. The thought of putting myself "out there" was frightening.

I decided to let go of my fears and do it anyway. Of course my kids thought it was "crazy" and had a good laugh at my video. But one I uploaded the video and it was a done deal, I felt good. It is another "crazy" accomplishment to put on my list, post divorce.

They are picking the host by the most votes and I am lagging behind two younger girls right now, so if you want to vote for me, go to: http://www.100sx100s.com/content/christina-rowe-host-audition Whether I actually get to be a reality dating host or not, I feel like I have already won by pushing myself to try something new and following through, despite my fears.

HOLLYWOOD

Friday night and both Little Girl and Apprentice Man have disappeared out, leaving their parents with the TV and each other for company. Little Girl has gone to a friend’s for a sleepover but Apprentice Man told me he was off to Hollywood, or at least I thought that was what he said. I got quite excited at the prospect and handed him a bundle of my business cards in anticipation that he might give them out whilst he was over there; well you never know who could have been ringing for advice on Monday morning. Turns out, however, that it’s only a fancy dress party. Mind, unshaven in beanie-hat and sunglasses, I’m not sure which A list celebrity he’s supposed to be. Still so long as he keeps those glasses on, nobody will recognise him as my son!

I interviewed Rosalind Sedacca, author of How do I tell the Kids About the Divorce? and asked her what is the most effective way to break the divorce news to kids. Watch the video for her answer.

IN POVERTY

Finally the news everyone had been anticipating for sometime broke to day. Madonna and Guy Ritchie are to divorce. Immediately speculation has mounted as to the extent of the financial settlement which will be agreed or else determined by a court. One thing is for certain, neither will be in the position of having to worry how to meet their utility bills or buy shoes for the children.

It isn’t always the case and in most marriage break-ups the simple truth is that the income that kept one household can’t keep two households to the same standard. Fortunately that doesn’t mean that divorced families live in poverty, however hard their situations might seem.

Every day 25,000 people die as a result of malnourishment, and illnesses such as chronic dysentery, pneumonia, tuberculosis and aids are all rife in the most poverty stricken areas of the world

Sadly and sometimes to properly understand our predicament we do have to make comparisons and realise that there is always someone worse off than we are. The bills might be stacking up but how many people in the UK today are actually suffering from starvation or going unshod or unclothed? In the Third World it is a very different story. I urge everyone to make some gesture to help. If you feel you have no money to donate to a worthwhile fund to relieve poverty, don’t fret; sit still and click here and/or here to give help without even dipping into your pocket or leaving your PC.

Ex's can be fun

I just want to clarify for those who may not know it. It is possible for you to have a good relationship with your honey's ex.I live in a world of contradictions. On the one hand, my ex-husband has a wife whom I cannot seem to be able to get along with. In all honesty, it is as much my fault as it is hers, in that I am not interested in her happiness at all. There is too much murky water under

What Your Child Really Fears After the Divorce...

My soon to be 11 year old daughter mentioned to me the other day that she spoke with her dad's girlfriend's daughter, who is 12, on the phone. I thought that was nice. They have not yet met and I am glad to see my ex finally dating someone with kids. When I asked my daughter if the little girl had called her, she told me that her dad put her on the phone.

I could sense something was not right in the way my daughter was acting. At first, she kept insisting everything was fine, but upon further pressing, she confessed that she missed her dad and felt a little funny about her dad spending time with another family.

She also told me about the twin girls at her school. During an in school counseling session for children with divorced parents, they said that their dad likes his "new kids" better then them. They felt that their dad spent more time with his new family and gave more attention to his step kids.

I think this is what sparked my own daughter's fears- that her dad would remarry and forget about her. I reassured her that her dad loves her very much and no one could replace her.

She also said something I found very surprising when asked about how she would feel if her dad married his girlfriend. She said she would be upset because then it would be "over". Meaning there really would be no chance of mom and dad getting back together.

I honestly had never thought about that. Since my divorce was so bitter and there was never a chance for reconciliation, I assumed my children would understand that. But because my daughter was so young when we separated, I think she held on to the hope many kids with divorced parents have of seeing their parents get back together.

I share this with you because had I not initiated a conversation with my daughter I would have had no idea she was feeling this way. Children often bury their fears and it can be difficult to know when something is bothering them. If you or your ex is in a new relationship, it is a good idea to reassure your kids that even if one of you does remarry and have step children, they can never be replaced and nothing can change the way you love them.

COD WAR REKINDLED

A couple, let’s call them Ms I and Mr U.K, used to argue about fish, particularly cod. In time they learned to compromise and share. Now, however, they’ve become openly hostile again. This time it seems the issue is about money. He put some in her accounts and she is claiming that she can’t return it. As a result he’s seized everything he can of hers and isn’t giving it back. There is at least a dialogue going on, but it’s understandably heated.

In the meantime the gossipmongers have got to work and amongst the scurrilous scandal being whipped up about Ms I, I’ve heard that she eats rams’ testicles and believes in elves.

Have you ever wondered why divorce lawyers don’t have more success in resolving matters without undue acrimony?

I Hate Politics Season

It's hard NOT to pay attention to the Presidential candidates this time of year. They're everywhere! As someone who is not passionate about one side or the other, I plan to vote for the Presidential candidate who pisses me off the least. So far, the McCain/Palin ballot is really pissing me off. I see clips of these "normal" people in the crowds at their rallies, asking questions and making narrowminded statements. And the fact that other people in the crowd actually cheer wildly and McCain and Palin just smile and let them continue, is amazing to me.

Some jackass stood up the other day at a rally and started going off about Obama being a terrorist. Are you really that fucking stupid you bigotted right-wing asshole? This character is throwing out "Socialist" and shit like that. Do you really believe the venom coming out of your mouth? Personally, I am less afraid of the Islamic extremist terrorists than I am of these crazy white guys right here in the USA. For all I know, these radical, normal-looking, white men could be living next door to me or waiting in line with me at the movie theater.

At one point I actually had some thoughts of voting for McCain. Of course, that was before he pussed out and compromised his own beliefs to enable his campaign to get funding from right-wingers. In the event that McCain actually manages to squeak out a victory over Obama in the Election, I really hope McCain goes back to the old John McCain and tells all those radical right-wing supporters to fuck off. I mean, once the Election is over, he doesn't need their money any more. And c'mon, he's way too old to expect to be re-elected 4 years later.

Come November 4th, I, along with many other voters, will be voting for the lesser of two evils. Right now, my choice is Barack Obama. And frankly, George W. Bush has fucked all of us over so bad that it probably doesn't matter. Asshole.

Why Both Men and Women Cheat....

This Friday night, Christine Brinkley's cheating ex- husband, Peter Cook is being interviewed by Barbara Walters on ABC. In sneak previews, Cook blames Brinkley for his affair, saying he did not get attention or "thank yous" for all of his efforts and felt like he was living with his sister.

This is the typical excuse for both men and women who cheat. It is just so much easier to blame your spouse than to take responsibility for your actions. However, there may be some truth here as to why a person would be tempted to cheat. Many have cited the same reason Cook has. Lack of attention, affection and feeling unappreciated. Of course this is not a valid reason to cheat. These are reasons to ask your spouse to attend martial counseling and if all else fails, ask for a divorce. Most people really do not want to get a divorce., but instead of letting their spouses know how they are feeling, they look outside of the marriage for excitement, fulfillment and love.

If your ex cheated on you it is important not to blame yourself. But the affair is almost always a symptom of a failing marriage. If you find that your spouse is acting depressed, withdrawn or complaining of lack of affection, those are red flags. Martial counseling and opening up the lines if communication may prevent an affair and save your marriage.

A GLOBAL NIGHTMARE

Finally I am giving in and blogging about the credit crisis. With the world’s banks in turmoil, everyone understandably seems to be discussing and worrying about global meltdown and the credit crunch.

Not to be outdone, I found myself participating in such a discussion with one of my colleagues in the office this morning. As he specialises in insolvency work, I suggested that he could at least draw comfort from the fact that his must be an area of work that sadly will be in high demand in such times.

“Insolvency Practitioners have a saying,” he responded, presumably trying to reassure me also, “when the money runs out, so does the wife!”

Ode to Liz Taylor

People make fun of Elizabeth Taylor because she has been married so many times. I have not been married quite as often, yet I am starting to see how she must feel. I realize that Liz, each time she married, had no idea that the situation would not last forever. She is most likely an amazingly loyal, romantic and caring woman. It is women such as her who make excellent, adoring wives. I see Liz as

Turn Your Wedding Ring Into Cash...

With the stock market plummeting and gold pricing soaring, now may be the time to think about selling your wedding ring. You can get top dollar for old pieces of gold jewelry you may have.

Some people are even attending "gold parties" which are similar to Tupperware parties. How it works is you bring your gold and are paid cash on the spot. You can host your own gold party and invite all of your divorced friends. The website www.mygoldparty.com sells a book that even teaches you how to make money hosting your own gold parties. Of course you will want to be careful and make sure that you are getting the fair market value for any jewelry you might sell.

Selling the jewelry you acquired from your marriage is not for everyone though. Some people may feel sentimental about their wedding rings and want to pass them on to their children or simply not be ready to part with it. You may have strong feelings about certain jewelry your ex gave you and want to hold on to it. Whatever you decide, knowing that your gold pieces are increasing in value, unlike so many other investments nowadays, is comforting.

English Man Ordered to Pay Support for Pets...

A British Court has ordered a banker to pay his ex-wife a yearly "maintenance" for her three horses. She was also awarded a lump sum to buy an new home with enough land for the horses to graze.

Before you start thinking this is crazy, you need to hear more about this couple's background. The couple, married for 11 years, was childless and after the wife tragically lost a baby in 2001, her husband bought her a horse. She also purchased two more horses with her own inheritance. She feels that these horses are like children. A talented rider, the horses were a major part of the couple's lives while they were married.

I think the wife has every right to be able to care for her horses after the divorce. Why should she have to give them up when the horses were part of both her and her husband's lives? The husband argued that there horses were now an "unjustified extravagance". Yet he cared for and supported these animals during the marriage.

As an animal lover, I can relate to this woman's deep love for her horses. Many people consider their pets to be members of the family. To have to give up a pet because of a divorce would be tragic. I am not sure what the ruling would have been here in the United States with a similar case. Unfortunately, pets are considered "property" in most states. The bottom line is that if you adopt a pet you are responsible for that pet's care. Divorce should not relieve you of those responsibilities.

UNSUNG HEROES

On Thursday evening I attended the region’s Charity Awards, when the unsung heroes from Durham and Tees Valley were recognised for their contributions and we were entertained by children from a local dance and drama organisation.

In cases of family breakdown, it can often be the children themselves who are the unsung heroes of drama. Despite their tender years they begin to move from one to another with all the skills of UN peace envoys as they negotiate, manipulate and barter. Regrettably there are times when they can appear to show the strains of conflict and I recall a time when parents with care would regularly raise the issue of bed-wetting after a contact visit as a potential reason for stopping such. “Sounds like we can deal with that with rubber sheets and some judicious parental encouragement,” one of our local District Judges would remark.

All of which reminds me of a second awards evening that I also attended recently. This time it was to recognise teenage sporting achievements. Fittingly the certificates were presented by Jo Jackson, an Olympic bronze medal winner from North Yorkshire, who had claimed her victory at Beijing in the swimming pool. The Master of Ceremonies couldn’t resist telling the audience that he too had learned to swim at an early age, although not apparently through choice. He claimed that he had shared a bed with his older brothers, all of whom would wet the bed, causing him to wake up in the deep end!

More Ways to Save Money During Your Divorce..

Everyone nowadays, whether going through a divorce or not, is looking for ways to stretch their money and save. Single parents and people going through a divorce are being especially hard hit by this declining economy.

With costs rising and many salaries remaining stagnate, we all need to find ways to save and make more money.

I will be bringing you some great resources to save money and make money as I find them. Here are three ways to save that I found online:

www.RetailMeNot.com is an easy way to find online coupon codes. You enter these codes at the checkout page of participating merchants for instant discounts. Also, the RetailMeNot shoppers network lets you connect with other shoppers so you get the best coupons, offers and deals.

www.Couponwinner.com –is an online shopping website that works with over 2,000 merchants and provides thousands of free coupons and promotional codes from top brand-names. The primary goal of CouponWinner.com is to help you save money, simply and easily, everyday. When it comes to saving money, everyone wins with CouponWinner.com.

Show me the dough is a terrific blog written by a mother of three who shows you how to save money on your food bill and also eat healthy (she manages to keep her food bill under $300 each month). You will also receive savings tips and recipes. –You can get on this blog by going to - savemoneyonfood.blogspot.com/.

CARNIVORES

Amongst the tributes paid this week to the late Paul Newman, I heard that in talking about his longstanding and devoted relationship with his wife, he was known to have expressed the view that there is no point going out for a hamburger when you can stay in and have steak instead. I understand that he wasn’t actually talking about food either.

As a divorce lawyer I can certainly say that I deal daily in cases where clients have gone for the hamburger option instead. Whether they’re any happier as a result I don’t know, though I suspect the McDonald’s and Burger King Empires might be.

How the Economy Can Effect Your Divorce..

I really feel for people who are thinking about getting a divorce or in the middle of one right now. With the dire economic conditions we are facing, many couples are going to have less assets to divide and a more difficult time financially supporting two separate households.

It used to be that a couple could count on the equity in their home, 401Ks and other investments to divvy up. With the housing market crisis, stocks plummeting and the cost of living rising, many couples will not have the money available to buy a new home or even live comfortably after a divorce.

Think about this. The longer you take to settle your divorce the greater risk you are at. If you filed for divorce 6 months ago, at that time your assets were worth more than they are worth today. If we continue in this downward economic spiral, your assets will lose more value and you will get less in your divorce settlement. Another scenario that can effect your divorce is if you or your partner loses your job. Child support and alimony payments will surely be affected.

To make matters worse, if you are paying a high priced divorce attorney, his fees will mount while your divorce settlement decreases. So the best advice to divorcing couples now is to settle your divorce as fast as possible. This is no time to fight it out. With assets frozen and unable to be sold during a divorce unless court ordered, you are risking your financial well being.

If you are dealing with a hard headed spouse who has refused to settle so far, maybe it is time you explain to him or her that you will both suffer financially should your divorce drag on. The quicker you reach a settlement, the better chance you have to protect your assets.

Try Immersion Therapy

Do you have a hard time being exposed to your ex's new love interest. I know I did. She and I couldn't be more different, and we have only one thing in common - "him". So, often times I found that my angst about many issues surfaced whenever I was exposed to her. Unfortunately, when you have kids, you are generally exposed to the other person at events where you are expected to act like a lady