NATIONAL SCANDAL, PERHAPS

Do you know someone who was divorced recently?
Or do you know someone who has separated from their spouse or partner?
Do you know anyone who was successful in obtaining Olympic tickets?
Could there perhaps be a national scandal here somewhere?

FAMILY JUSTICE?

The Family Justice Review published an interim report today. It’s 232 pages long and responses are required to the consultation questionnaire by 23rd June.

Buried deep in the report is the recognition that grandparents can have an important role to play in a child’s life and that, so far as practicable, a child should continue to have a relationship with them regardless of parental separation. There is also recognition that there should be a presumption in favour of shared parenting.

The report does not, as some journalists were initially suggesting, change the law and if anything recognises that family dynamics are inevitably complex especially following relationship breakdown, meaning that a one size fits all approach is never appropriate. Needless to say it is already being criticised by some fathers’ groups for failing to go far enough (sharing the responsibility of parenting isn’t the same as equalising time between parents) and sadly for grandparents it suggests that there will be a continuing need for them to seek leave of the court before making an application; so there are no deemed presumptions or recommended procedural changes there either. The trouble is the rhetoric always sounds fine; dealing with the reality, as any family justice professional will vouch, is a different matter.

SOMETHING IN THE WATER

It can only be something in the water surely as, according to the Office for National Statistics, the number of divorces in the United Kingdom has fallen again for the 5th consecutive year. The data, which is now available for 2009, however suggests that whilst there has been a 7% fall overall on the previous year, the reduction is even greater in Scotland at 9.9% and a whopping 22% in Northern Ireland. Now their water must be seriously strong!

OUT OF STEP

A new YouGov poll published by Resolution on Friday ahead of its annual conference in Manchester this weekend , reveals just how out of step with the realities of family life and its breakdown the political parties are in modern Britain. The YouGov poll asked over 2000 adults in the UK about a range of issues related to family breakdown, divorce and the status of cohabiting couples. The poll found that almost three quarters (72 percent) of people don’t think unhappily married couples should stay together because of the children, and over two-thirds (68 percent) believe that couples should be able to divorce without blaming each other.

David Allison, the new Chair of Resolution, said: “Family issues are dominating the election agenda with all parties developing and publishing policies aimed at the nation’s families. Sadly many of these policies miss the point, fail to engage with the realities of family life in the 21st century and leave many families out in the cold. If unhappy families aren’t going to stay together because of their children – they certainly won’t stay together because of a £10 tax break. Politicians need to stop using family life as a political football and engage instead with real solutions which support rather than judge families.”

The online YouGov poll also showed that 4 out of 5 (80 percent) people agree with the principle of financial support when a relationship ends, and almost three quarters (72 percent) of those who agreed with this principle believe that it should apply to couples in any relationship regardless of whether or not they are married.

“Despite the fact that cohabitation is the fastest growing family type in the UK, the present government has only paid lip service to the idea of supporting families of all shapes and sizes and did not support Lord Lester’s recent Cohabitation Bill. By passing up the opportunity to reform the law for cohabiting couples it has allowed discrimination to persist in family law,” David Allison said.

Resolution, which represents over 5500 family lawyers, believes that couples must be able to divorce without blame after six months of separation and couples who live together must be given legal protection.

MARRIAGE DECLINE

Oh dear – spare a thought for we divorce lawyers destined to be seeking new careers if the latest statistics on marriages are anything to go by. According to the Office for National Statistics yesterday, the provisional number of marriages registered in England & Wales in 2008 shows a decline to 232,990; that’s the lowest figure since 1895 when the population was of course considerably smaller. Should I be viewing these statistics as a threat or an opportunity? What could I train to do next?

DIVORCE STATISTICS

Resolution is again backing calls for divorce law reform in England and Wales after newly released statistics highlight the flaws of a “blame centred” divorce process. The latest figures released today by the Office for National Statistics show that behaviour and adultery were cited in the vast majority of divorces.

In 2008, of all decrees awarded to one partner (rather than jointly to both), 67 per cent were awarded to the wife. In more than half of the cases where the divorce was granted to the wife, the husband’s behaviour was the fact proven. Of the divorces granted to the husband, the most common fact proven was the wife’s behaviour (34 per cent of cases).

Resolution, contends that this is because couples cannot currently get a divorce without having to blame one another for unreasonable behaviour or adultery unless they wait for two years.

Family break ups are a sad fact of modern life. With one in three children experiencing the breakup of their parents’ relationship before their 16th birthday, it’s essential that conflict is kept to a minimum when families separate. But, as these figures show, the present system encourages mud-slinging and blame. At the moment couples not wanting to blame one another have to wait two years before they can get a divorce. But for many, waiting two years to sort out their finances rules out this option.

Resolution is calling for a new system whereby couples can divorce on the grounds of “irretrievable breakdown” of their marriage with a maximum waiting period of six months. We urgently need to replace this blame centred divorce process with a civilised process for a civilised society.

STAGGERING

“Staggering,” is the best description I can give to the results of a survey published today by family lawyers at London law Firm, Mishcon de Reya. The study of over 4,000 parents was commissioned by the firm to mark the 20th anniversary of the Children Act, implemented in November 1989.

Whilst seventy per cent of parents quizzed by the law firm cited their child’s welfare as the main priority during separation, the results also showed that:
Children said they felt used (19 percent), isolated (38 percent) and alone (37 percent).
Many admitted they turned to drink and drugs, played truant from school or self harmed.

For 38 percent of children the separation meant they never saw their father again.
50 percent of parents admitted putting their children through an intrusive court process over access issues and living arrangements.
25 percent of parents surveyed believe that their child was so traumatised by their separation that they self harmed or contemplated suicide.
20 percent of separated parents admitted that they actively set out to make their partner's experience ‘as unpleasant as possible’ regardless of the effect this had on their children’s feelings.

Sandra Davis, head of family law at Mishcon de Reya , says that, “This research shows that despite their best intentions, parents are often using their children as emotional footballs. They don’t have the tools to co-parent effectively following separation and their only solution is to turn to the courts. Children – alongside the economy - are suffering because of this. The millions of pounds spent each year on Legal Aid, running the courts and CAFCASS could be better spent educating parents about their children’s needs and gaining an understanding of how to resolve and avoid long term disputes and reduce hostility.” In short there is a need to “protect children from the worst excesses of parental conflict. Therapeutic input, not litigation, is the answer and will reduce the emotional and financial cost of separation.”

Resolution has already started to try to tackle the problem with its Parents after Parting workshops and its dedicated webspace for parents. Government funding however is needed if family therapy centres are to be set up and counselling available for all who need it. As the survey shows, 64 percent of parents quizzed said that if counselling was available they would consider attending.

RECEDING HEMLINES

Yesterday evening I attended Tees Valley Law Society’s Annual Dinner. It’s 2 or 3 years since I was last present and there was a definite change from the last occasion. Whilst the male dominated arena was still resplendent in its bow ties and dinner jackets, the ladies’ dresses had definitely altered. When I was last there brightly coloured, full-length, strapless evening gowns were very much the preferred garb. Last night, however, the ladies too were in sombre black and rarely did their hemlines extend below their knees. Austere times, notably after last century’s two World Wars, traditionally result in a curtailment of the volume of fabric used in women’s clothing. Presumably, therefore, last night was a definite illustration of the effects of recession and the need to cut one’s cloth accordingly. Oh dear, if the economic situation worsens then next year might find the ladies donned only in vests! I guess that’s an occasion this Darlington divorce solicitor will definitely forego.

Hemlines are not the only things that have been affected by the recession recently. Financial constraints are inevitably putting pressure on couples. As a result Relate published figures showing that its services are in increased demand but that less people are able to pay the full cost for these. Then Harriet Harman launched a booklet at an event at 11 Downing Street entitled, “Real Help Now for Women,” aimed to ensure that women know what support is available for them during the economic crisis and on the back of statistics that show that a large proportion are concerned about the effect the downturn is having on family life.

When funds are desperately needed to prop up family life, one might view the Government as considerate in authorising the printing of an extra £75 billion. I wonder how much of it is going to find its way to resolving relationship breakdowns? Not enough if the further cuts in legal aid presently being mooted and the problems in the family courts reported by the Bar Council this week, are anything to go by!

AN ECONOMIC DOWNTURN

I am taking a lesson from the political spin doctors. No longer will any of my clients suffer from marriage breakdown, crisis, crunch, turmoil or meltdown. Instead and in an attempt to instil a feel-good factor, they are going to have relationship downturns!

LIES, DAMNED LIES AND STATISTICS

The front page of The Litigation Letter that landed on my desk today boasts the headline “Family Meltdown”. It’s a clear quotation from Mr Justice Coleridge’s speech at the recent Resolution annual conference. However, this article also quotes figures which it says show that the marriage rate in England & Wales has dropped to its lowest level (236,980) since 1895 when the population was presumably considerably smaller than it is now. At the same time the article claimed that the divorce rate has increased to its highest level at 45%, with 10% of marriages lasting less than 5 years.

With figures of this magnitude being quoted, no wonder it’s so easy for those in power to lambast single parents and the breakdown in family life for the ills of society including wayward adolescents, school truancy, bullying, drug abuse, crime and teenage pregnancies. What the figures clearly show, of course, is that cumbersome, outdated divorce laws do nothing to keep marriages together. Quite what the Government intends to do about it though is another issue, especially when we still need some proper laws to regulate the break up of relationships between those couples who opt simply to live together and don’t therefore even feature in these statistics.

Of course, if you are fortunate enough that your marriage has subsisted happily for 5 years or more, what is also suggested (assuming consistency in mortality and divorce rates) is that it is too early to start planning your 60th wedding anniversary. Apparently only 10% of couples marrying today will survive to make those celebrations; whilst purportedly 45 % will divorce, another 45% will be separated by death, because the average age for marrying itself has increased to 31.8 for men and 29.7 for women. That means that the couples who do make it will, on average, presumably be 91.8 and 89.7 years of age. Further, 10% of the number quoted for couples marrying means that 23,698 couples a year should attain this achievement; now that’s what I call success. I knew I’d find something promising in those figures somewhere.

NORTH EAST DIGITAL AWARDS

After much cajoling I have been persuaded to permit this blog to be entered in the North East Digital Awards in the category entitled Best Use of Blogging. As someone who prefers self-deprecation to shouting her own praises, it’s not a step I agreed to without a great deal of arm-twisting but then I thought whatever is there to lose, pump up your self esteem girl and go for it. How often do we fail to seize the opportunity and then live to regret it?

Now the embarrassing bit – for any regular readers or even those passing by for the first time - if you think I’m worth it, please register your vote.

DIVORCE RATE TO INCREASE

Yesterday whilst I was posting my blog entry about the decrease in the divorce rate, the newspapers yielded two storylines suggesting the contrary, although this may not have been apparent at first glance. The relevant headlines were along the lines of :
“Interest rates squeeze family budgets as housing becomes unaffordable” and “Cost of a loaf of bread rises above £1.”

Sadly when families begin to struggle financially, pressure upon them increases, relationships become fraught and in due course the divorce rate rises. Hiding the surge in global wheat prices towards the back of newspapers in the business and economic sections does society no favours. It needs to know what is coming next.

FALLING DIVORCE RATE

Figures published last week by the Office for National Statistics show provisional divorce rates in England and Wales at their lowest for 22 years. The figures show a drop in divorces to 12.2 per thousand married men and women, a fall of 7% compared to the 2005 figure of 13.1 per thousand.

According to Resolution, the figures highlight several key issues:

1. The need for cohabitation law reform

The downward trend in divorce rates mirrors falling marriage rates, which are currently at an all-time low and can be attributed - at least in part - to the growing number of people who are choosing to live together and not marry. The number of cohabiting couples in the UK is expected to rise from 2 million to 3.8 million by 2030, and at present six out of ten cohabiting couples believe they have the same rights as married people on separation.

The reality is very different. The present law provides no protection for couples that live together.

The uncertainty and lack of clarity cohabiting couples face means increased insecurity and distress at the time of break up, as well as injustice and high legal costs if couples go to court to resolve their differences. The costs involved in sorting out property rights of cohabiting couples can often exceed those of a fully contested divorce - precisely because there is so little clarity.

Resolution welcomed the recent Law Commission proposals for reforming cohabitation law, and is now pressing the government to move forward and introduce new legislation without delay.

2. The case for a ‘no fault’ divorce system

The figures refer to husbands’ ‘behaviour’ being cited in 54% of divorce cases and wives’ in 32%.This highlights the current fault-based divorce system, which we are keen to move away from. Currently, to divorce, couples need to give a reason for the marriage split. Often they cite “unreasonable behaviour” or adultery to speed up the process, but this can lead to bitter battles. In so many cases, it is impossible to say who is most to blame when a relationship ends.

Resolution would like to see a no-fault system, which gives couples the chance to look forward, rather than back, and agree best how to co-parent the children and how fairly to sort out the finances.

3. The importance of putting children first

The figures show that whilst divorce rates are falling, there are still 125,000 children caught up this difficult and highly emotional process. It’s vital that separating parents put children first. They may no longer be part of a couple, but they will always be a parent.

Alternative methods of dispute resolution, such as mediation and collaborative law are becoming more and more popular. Resolution members aim to minimise the pain of separation and divorce and we are keen to explore options where couples can sit down with their own solicitors, all together in the same room, to work out resolutions, face-to-face. This makes for a more civilised divorce process, giving couples and families a better chance of rebuilding their lives.