Are You Ready to Get Naked Again?...

Dating after a divorce can be traumatic and overwhelming. You may wish there was a guide book for women that told you how to get back in the dating game and find a new relationship that won't result in heartache. Getting Naked Again by NY Times best selling author, Judith Sills does just that.

This book is a godsend to divorced, widowed or dumped women in their thirties and beyond. Ms. Sills helps women get back out there again and not be afraid to date. Going through a divorce, especially if you are over 35, presents a whole new set of challenges. There are children to deal with, insecurities about age and looks and a whole slew of emotional issues to contend with.

Dating again after a divorce in your twenties is not the same as dating again in your forties. If you try your hand at dating without doing some inner work and developing your own inner confidence, you may find yourself retreating and backing off from the dating scene. Rejection stings at any age, but it is especially difficult when you have already been emotionally scarred from your divorce and convince yourself your "too old" to date or that there are " no good men" left. If you find yourself sitting home on the weekends, watching netflix movies and drinking wine, this book is for you.

I like this book because the author explores the divorced and widowed woman's psyche, understanding the feelings, emotions and concerns a woman feels after the loss of a significant relationship. Her savvy and often humorous advice will help you "get naked again" and not be afraid to let down your guard and allow a new love into your life.

First Date Etiquette After a Divorce...

Going out on your first date after your divorce can bring up many questions. Just how much information do you disclose about your life and your divorce? You may be tempted to reveal all of the gory details of your divorce, especially if you hit it off with this new person. But is it okay?

It all depends on how you approach it. If you date asks about your divorce, it is fine to let him or her know the basic details. The problem occurs when you find yourself dumping all of your emotional garbage on your date, leaving him or her feeling more like a therapist instead of a potential new mate.

It is always a good idea to be the one asking the questions on a first date instead of doing all of the talking. People love to talk about themselves and when you express a sincere interest in a person and let them tell you about their life, they feel more comfortable around you. Keep the conversation light, if possible. Remember, the first date is all about finding out if this is someone you would like to go on a second date with, not if he or she will be your next spouse. Keep that in mind during the conversation and ask the questions that are important for you to know about this person.

Talking about careers, family, favorite hobbies and interests are all good ways to get to know someone. If the divorce comes up and you went through a particularly rough one, you can simply state the facts without getting emotional. Time will tell if this is someone you will want to open up to and share your personal stories with. You don't want to scare off a new date by making them feel you have not gotten over your divorce yet or that you are still in love with your ex.

Most of all, try to have fun and not have high expectations. If you secretly hope that this date will turn into a lasting relationship, you will be disappointed if your date does not feel the same way. By viewing the first date as a fun way to get to know a person, regardless of the outcome, you protect yourself emotionally. It may take many first dates before you finally meet the right person, so try not to take any rejection personally.

Click here to read a free chapter of Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce...

Sharing Your Kids with Your Ex's New Love....

I was watching "Desperate Housewives" tonight and the storyline hit home for many divorced parents. "Susan" a character with a young son was having a hard time accepting that her son actually liked her ex-husband's girlfriend. It was very threatening to her that her child would want to spend time with her ex's new love and this fictional character tried to forbid her ex's girlfriend from spending time with her son.

Feelings of jealousy of the ex's new girlfriend or boyfriend can crop up. The jealousy divorced parents feel is not a romantic kind of jealously but rather a feeling of having your place as a parent threatened by this new person in your kid's lives. On one hand you want your kids to like the new girlfriend or boyfriend and hope he or she is a good person. But on the other hand, you may feel like your child may like this person better than you and you could lose your child's love.

Although these feelings are completely normal, they are unjustified. Your children know who their mom and dad are and will not replace you with someone else in their hearts, no matter how nice they might be. It helps to try and think of it in a different light. If your ex has found someone special who is going to be in your kids lives, be grateful if he or she is a good person and will have a positive impact on your children. Many divorced parents find themselves in a horrible situation when their ex's new love does not treat their children well.

If your kids have a good relationship with the new girlfriend or boyfriend, try to be supportive. When it comes time for you to introduce your kids to your new love, you will have an easier time if the kids have already been through all of the emotions associated with accepting a parent's new relationship.

Click here to read a free chapter of Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce...

Are You Really Ready for a New Relationship?

After getting divorced, many people delude themselves by thinking they need to jump into a new relationship right away. The pain from the divorce can be overwhelming and finding a new love becomes a distraction and way to feel good again.

But the reality is you may not be ready for a new relationship after your divorce just yet. Here are a few questions you need to ask yourself to determine if it is wise for you to get back into the dating scene and meet someone new:

1. Have you properly mourned the end of your marriage? The grieving process for getting over a divorce can take years, so I am not suggesting that you put your life on hold and not date, but it is important that you have least begun the process and are in the latter stages of grief. It is unfair to a new mate to begin a relationship if you have not emotionally let go of the previous one.

2. Are you ready to invest time and energy in a new relationship? The time period after a divorce can be a wonderful opportunity to be selfish and fulfill some of your own needs. Without a husband to worry about, you are free to make your own choices. You can call your own shots and enjoy your new found freedom. This may grow old after a while and you may find yourself longing for companionship. However, if you enter into a new relationship too quickly after a divorce without giving yourself some "alone time" you may regret it later.

3. Are you happy with your life as it is now? If you are looking for someone to ease your pain, rescue you and make your life better, you are in for a rude awakening. Get your own life settled and in order before bringing someone else into it. Find a new love when you are happy and fulfilled and that person will be a welcome addition in your life, not someone you desperately need to make you happy.

How to Cope with Being Divorced and Single on Valentine's Day...

Well it's that time of year again. The stores are flooded with hearts, chocolates and corny greeting cards. Reminders are everywhere that the "day of love" is fast approaching. There is no escaping Valentine's Day. If you are divorced and not dating anyone special this can be a particularly painful time.

You may feel lonely and unloved and wonder if you will ever meet that someone special again. Many people dread being single this time of year. It can trigger emotions and memories of the past when you were married and in love. Now, single and alone, you may feel like you have nothing to look forward to this Valentine's Day.

But there are some ways to not only get through Valentine's day while being single, but actually enjoy it. One way is to call up your single friends and plan a night out on the town. Since you are all in the same situation, why not go out and have a fun night out? If you rather stay home with the kids, have your own Valentine's day party. Bake some red cupcakes, put some red food coloring in ginger ale for the kids and buy some pink champagne for yourself. Celebrate all of the love you have in your life, the love you feel for your children, parents, pets and friends.

Do anything that makes you feel happy and appreciative. Try not to dwell on what is missing in your life this Valentine's Day and instead focus on what you already have. With a positive attitude and a little planning, you may find yourself actually looking forward to Valentine's Day this year.

Click here to read a free chapter of Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce...

Dating After Divorce Dilemma: Blending Your Kids with His

Dating after a divorce can be an exciting time. With your divorce finally behind you, you look forward to meeting someone new. But when you or your new love have children, complications can soon set it.

It would be great if life were like the Brady Bunch and your kids and his kids all got along, but in reality, many children feel resentful and upset when their parents date. Expecting them to accept your new mate's children can be difficult as well.

A friend of mine has three children and her ex-husband recently remarried and had a baby. His wife has 4 children from a previous marriage. Her kids are overwhelmed and confused when visiting dad and his new, large, instant family. They complain that they no longer get any alone time with their dad and visits are chaotic are less frequent.

Blending families successfully is a huge challenge. If your kids do not like your boyfriend or his kids do not like you, it can put a huge strain on your relationship. Here a three ways to minimize the trauma to your kids and help them accept your new love and his children:

1. Take it slow. Do not introduce your kids to his kids to quickly. Give your kids time to get to know your new boyfriend first.

2. Keep visits with your boyfriend's kids short and infrequent in the beginning. Do not overwhelm your children by forcing them to spend time with your boyfriend's family. Give them time to develop their own relationship with his kids.

3. Make sure to spend plenty of time with your kids. It is easy to become distracted with your new love and want to be with him all of the time. However if you have children, they will become resentful. They crave your attention and need to feel secure.

A divorce is difficult enough on a child. You can only imagine how confusing it must be for a child to see his parents dating new people and then having to share his parents with other children who are not his siblings. The key is to take it slow and give your children time to accept your new relationship. With time, extra attention and patience, most children will eventually come around.

Click here to read a free chapter of Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce...

How to Find a New Love for the New Year...

Are you finally ready to meet that someone special? Do you feel you have moved on after your divorce and can now enter into a new relationship, baggage free? You may feel that you are ready, but there a few things you need to do before joining that dating website or getting fixed up on blind dates. Here are three ways to guarantee your next love will be a keeper:

1. Get yourself ready first. If physical appearances are important to you, make sure you look your very best. You say you want someone who is fit and trim? then make sure you lose those extra pounds. Remember, like attracts like.

2. Get rid of unrealistic expectations. You will have a difficult finding someone if you require that your mate be certain height or work in a particular profession. Narrow your "must haves" down to the things that really matter to you and be flexible about the rest.

3. Work on removing your old limiting beliefs and habits. Spend some time analyzing your past relationships and take an objective look at what part you may have played in your breakups. It is not easy to accept responsibility for your divorce, but until you can figure out your part in the breakup, you will bring the same issues into your next relationship. This is about self reflection, not blame, so don't beat yourself up.

One last piece of advice: When searching for your new love this year, remember to take it slow and don't be upset if he or she does not appear right away. You will meet the right person if you do not rush into a new relationship just because you are lonely. Don't waste time dating someone you know, deep down, is not the right person for you.

Click here to read a free chapter of Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce...

Why a "Rebound" Relationship Can Be Good for You...

You have most likely have heard the warnings about the "rebound" man or woman. This is the first person you have a relationship with after your divorce. The typical advice is to take it slow and not get too attached because rebound relationships often do not last.

That may be true and the advice to be careful so that you do not suffer a double blow-first a divorce and then a failed relationship-is sound. But there are benefits to having a rebound relationship after your divorce.

One benefit is the distraction the new relationship provides. You may be still reeling from your divorce and having many issues lingering. Your new relationship provides you with excitement, fun and the thrill of being in love again. These positive emotions can help keep your mind off of the divorce and bring back some joy in your life again.

Another benefit is a boost to your self esteem. If your ex was emotionally abusive or did not pay attention to you and put you down often, having a new lover who showers you with attention and compliments can do wonders for your self esteem. You start believing that you are an attractive again and someone who can be loved.

So go ahead and enjoy your new relationship after your divorce. But understand that you may not be emotionally ready for a serious, committed relationship so soon after your divorce. If you have not resolved the issues from your marriage and gone through the grieving process, you could be setting yourself up for another failed relationship. The key is to keep your new relationship light and fun and enjoy it for what it is worth. Be in the moment and take it one step at a time without expectations, while giving yourself the time you need to recover fully from your divorce.

Would You Marry for the Money?

I was flipping through the channels the other night and caught a few minutes of the show about the " Real Housewives of Orange County". This 30 year old blonde who looked like Barbie was getting a new 4 carat diamond ring from her 60 something year old boyfriend. She admitted that she was not attracted to him at first since he reminded her of Santa Claus or Kenny Rogers with his white hair and beard, but now is is deeply in love with him.

This man has been married 5 times and she will be his 6th wife. Maybe she does loves him but it sounded like she loved his money even more. I know there are people who do marry for the money but I wonder how can you be happy with someone if you are not attracted to them and do not love them?

Sure money makes life easier and it must be tempting to marry someone well off . But what price do you pay emotionally? I once knew a woman in her 50's who was divorced and met a man in his late 70's. He was wealthy and had no children or family. Believe it or not, after they married at the courthouse they drove straight to the lawyer's office and had his will changed, making her the sole beneficary of his estate.

Years later, he did die and she inherited all of his money. Although she married him for financial security, they did have a good relationship through the years, and she cared for him but was not in love with him. She got his money and he got a wife and the extended family he never had, including her grandchildren, so I guess it worked for both of them.

Have you ever considered marrying someone you did not love because they were rich? If you met a wealthy potential partner would you date him or her because they were rich, even if you were not attracted to them? Be honest!

My answer would be that I could not be intimate with someone I was not attracted to, no matter how much money he had. Ideally, it would be great to find the whole package: love and financial security. But I rather be married to a man who was not well off that I deeply loved than a rich one I was not attracted to.

Why Do Divorced Men Prefer Younger Women?

It is the stereotypical scenario. A couple in their 40's, 50's or 60's gets

divorced and the husband takes up with a woman 20 or sometimes even 30 years younger. Meanwhile, the wife is faced with dating men 20 or more years older than herself because men typically prefer younger women after they divorce.

But why? Why can't a man appreciate a woman his own age? I think many men, after a divorce, think they have something to prove. To be able to date a younger woman makes them feel younger, more attractive and vital. They enjoy showing off their much younger date as some sort of trophy or prize. What they do not realize is that the woman they are dating may be only interested in them for the financial security they can provide. How many 25 year old women are really attracted to a 60 year old man who is old enough to be their grandfather?

Men should stop kidding themselves and face the truth. They do not need a younger woman to feel youthful. Relying on anyone outside yourself to feel attractive, young, or needed is a mistake. Instead these men need to rediscover the women in their own age group and appreciate them for their wisdom and maturity. Many middle aged men do not even fully understand what they are getting themselves into with a younger woman. She will probably want to start a family at some point and is at a completely different stage in her life. A more mature woman, finished with child bearing and raising, can provide companionship and will be more likely to share more common interests with a man her own age.

I see many women in their 50's and 60's struggling to find a good man after a divorce because men are dating younger women and it makes me sad. These women should not have to date a 70 or 80 year old. Let's hope that more divorced, middle aged men get the message that they should open their hearts and minds and date a woman not based on her age, but on what kind of person she really is and if she is a compatible match.

"Must Love Dogs"...

If you are a pet owner and also looking to meet someone new after your divorce you know how important it is to date someone who will accept and love your pet. There is no sense in dating someone who is allergic to cats or dogs or who is not interested in pets, if pets are an important part of your life.

Since I have both cats and dogs and consider them all important members of my family, anyone I date must love both dogs and cats and be able to put with the way I spoil and baby them. My Maltese dog, Luigi, sleeps next to me every night, will only eat if I mix beech nut turkey baby food into his dog food and will bite a stranger's ankles if not properly introduced. He does has some "issues" and any boyfriend of mine would not only have to understand this, but be willing to love him as much as I do.

So how do you find the perfect dog or cat loving mate? There is a new website I discovered that matches you will potential partners based on the type of animal you love and the type of breed. At www.therightbreed.com you can find other compatible singles interested in dating someone with pets. Some other ways to meet animal lovers, would be to visit dog parks or join a dog or cat meetup.com group(many have groups based on breeds).

If "must love dogs...or cats" is on your list of musts for a future partner, avoid the heartache of having to choice between your "best friend" and a new partner and make sure to ask a potential date about how he or she feels about pets before going out on that first date. This way you do not waste your time getting to know someone and possibly falling in love with someone who does not share your love of animals.

The Perils of Dating After Divorce....

It can be scary to be single again after a divorce. It is tough putting yourself out there again and meeting new people. One benefit of marriage, unless your ex was cheating or violent, is knowing you are relatively safe from harm. We hear stories in the news about dates gone wrong, women losing their life savings to con artists and the increased risks of STDs.

One website is even offering a service now that will deliver an "e-card" to a partner informing them that you have an STD! How crazy is that? Can you imagine opening your email and reading "Just wanted to say Hi and by the way, I have an STD, get yourself checked out". Other websites offer background checks so that you can investigate your future dates and make sure they are not criminals.

So should you plan to do background checks and require a clean bill of health for all of your potential dates, post divorce? I think that may be taking it to the extreme. One thing we all have, and it is free, is our intuition. I believe our gut feelings always lead us in the right direction, even though we don't always listen.

Dating after divorce does not have to be frightening. Trust yourself to make the right judgment calls about new people you meet. Always listen to that little voice inside you, the one that warns you when something is not right. Focus on meeting safe, healthy people and you will. Remember, the very thing you fear the most is often what you attract. By being afraid to date and dwelling on what could go wrong, you can almost guarantee that will be your experience. Relax, have fun and enjoy this new chapter in your life.

Have You Become Commitment Phobic After Your Divorce?...

The ink has barely dried on the divorce papers, and many people are already looking for their new love. They use online dating sites, try speed dating and frequent single dances looking for someone who can fill the void left by their divorce and try their hand at love once more.

Others, however, take the opposite approach and may be hesitant to rush into a new relationship too soon. They take their time and eventually find someone they can share their lives with.

There is yet another group of divorcees who become commitment phobic after their divorce. It usually happens for one of two reasons. Either the divorce was so painful and traumatic that they cannot bear the thought of ever getting into a serious committed relationship again or they actually enjoy being alone. For some people, especially those in long term marriages, being alone for the first time and calling your own shots in life may be an exciting, new experience they enjoy too much to give up.

Many may find this unusual and assume all uncommitted divorcees are lonely and desperate to find new love. But there are some who enjoy causal dating and companionship without a serious commitment. I have myself been in a three year relationship, post divorce, that many would consider unusual. We live in different states now and have a long distance relationship. I have no plans to ever marry him or move to his state, nor he to mine. We enjoy each other's company and deeply care about one another, but neither of us wants to get married again at this point in our lives. I was lucky to find someone who wants the same things in a relationship that I do. Our relationship would have not lasted this long had either of us wanted a more serious relationship. Someday one of us may want more and if the relationship ends,that is okay.

The important thing to remember, no matter where are right now relationship wise after your divorce, is to know what you want and make sure the person you are dating understands that clearly. A commitment phobic should obviously not be with someone who wants to get married again. As long as you are honest when entering a new relationship and lay your cards on the table, you should find what you are looking for in a new love.

Double Standard for Women after Divorce...

I was reading one of the online entertainment blogs the other day and was shocked at the headline accompanying the photo of Sharon Stone with her new, much younger boyfriend. It said something like "Sharon Stone the cougar shows off her kill".

I have never seen such headlines used for male celebrities dating much younger women. No one seemed to care that Tom Cruise married Katie Holmes, who is many years younger. What about 82 year old Hugh Hefner and his three girlfriends, one who was only 19 when she moved in with him?

Men dating younger women are respected and look up to by other men and the media and the women are attacked. Linda Hogan is another recent example. She is dating a man 29 years younger and the media has had a field day.Although I personally could not imagine dating a man so much younger than me, it is not my business to judge another woman's choice. The message sent to single, divorced women over 40 is that you are a "cougar" and on "the prowl" if you date a younger man.

It is surprising that is the year 2008 there are still different rules for women than men. If a woman wants to date a younger man, that is her personal choice, just as it for a man to date a younger woman. I think women who are single should not fear being labeled a "cougar" if they are comfortable dating younger men.

How Your Kids Really Feel About Your New Relationship...

I was having a conversation with my 10 year old daughter this evening about how she would feel if I eventually remarried. I was surprised to find out that she feels very negative about me being in a serious relationship. I have been divorced now for over 3 years and had thought she would be okay with it by now.

I have been in a relationship for awhile now but it is not with someone I will marry or live with in the future. She seems to like this man, but told me that is because he is not a daily part of our lives.

I think my daughter is wrestling with a few issues. She feels like she would be betraying her dad by allowing herself to accept another man in a fatherly role. I also think she does not want me to give attention to someone else, fearing she would get less. Ironically, she has no problem with her father having a girlfriend.

I am grateful that we had this conversation because I did not realize she felt so strongly. I think it is very important to keep the lines of communication open with your children and let them express themselves and their opinions after a divorce. That is not to say that I will not remarry or have a serious relationship in the future.

What I explained to her is that it is important to give people a chance. Right now this hypothetical man is not a real person who is in our lives. I told her when and if that time comes, we can take it slowly, one step at a time and maybe she will feel more positively about the subject if I met someone she actually liked and enjoyed spending time with. What I learned tonight is that I can't presume to know what my kids are feeling, I need to ask them and open up a dialogue so that we can work out any issues before they become problems.

Dating After Divorce: The Best Online Sites For Dating...

I was recently contacted by a blogger who was willing to share a terrifc article about dating after divorce. I pulled out the top online sites for dating out of her article to share with you here. Click here to read full article,"Dating After Divorce: 50 Tips to Get Back into the Groove" By Alisa Miller
"One of the most popular ways to stay in touch with friends is through social networking sites. With many sites, not only can you keep up with friends you see every day, but you can also follow those who live further away. Some social networking sites also serve as dating sites, too. If you aren’t already familiar with social networking, after a divorce is a great time to discover it–you might be surprised to find so many of your friends already there. Check out some of these sites below".

Facebook. Find your friends on Facebook, then share photos, play games like Scrabulous, and keep up with what’s happening in their lives. Facebook allows you to adjust privacy controls so that you can choose who sees your profile information.
MySpace. Like Facebook, MySpace allows you to connect with friends and stay current with their lives. MySpace offers music on the profiles and you can personalize your page to your liking.
Twitter. If you just want to keep your friends updated and know what they are up to, Twitter allows you to type in a short update that goes out to your friends. If you like getting messages on your phone, have the updates go directly there.
Pownce. Share messages, files, links, and events with your friends on Pownce. Its aesthetically pleasing design earned itself a place in 10 Most Beautiful Social Networks.
Meetup.com. Choose an interest such as knitting, politics, or speaking French and find a group in your area. Meetups usually happen on a specified day of each month.
Classmates.com. Use this site to find old friends from high school, college, the military, and workplaces. You can also connect with people through specific interest groups. This service is free, but to have full access, you will have to buy a subscription.
Reunion.com. Reunion provides the opportunity to reconnect with old friends, family, and lost loves. With a free membership, you can create a profile and search for friends. With a paid subscription, you get other benefits such as finding out who was searching for you and sending messages to other members.
Flickr. Upload your photos and share them with friends and family on this site. Search for people you know or join a special interest group such as people who appreciate black and white photography.
Flixster. This is the social networking site for movie lovers. You can find your friends and share your favorite movies with them. Also, keep updated on the news from the movie world and meet other movie fans.
Last.fm. For music fans, check out Last.fm. Upload music and videos, discover new music, and share your favorites with your friends. You can also find new friends with similar taste in music.
Shelfari. Book lovers will love this site. Create a virtual book shelf of what you’ve read, are currently reading, or want to read and share with your friends. Connect with new friends in groups and share your book shelf on your blog or other social networking sites.
Online Dating
If you were married for more than a handful of years, dating is much different than it was when you were doing it before. Online dating is the most popular way to get out there and find a partner. The following list offers some of the most popular online dating services.
Yahoo! Personals. Completely free, this online dating service offers a wide range of categories from which you can search. Due to not having a cost associated with it and the popularity of Yahoo!, you are sure to find lots of potential here.
Match.com. One of the top online dating services, Match.com provides a huge member database. You can browse for free, but you will need a membership to contact any potential matches.
Friendfinder. This site is ideal for those who are starting to date again and just want to get their feet wet. Friendfinder is great for anyone hoping to find fun, friend, and maybe even love. There’s no pressure to hit it off romantically, so you can just enjoy the new people you meet.
eHarmony. This dating service offers a unique approach to online dating. Instead of browsing for dates or waiting for someone to come to you, they rely on a complex personality matching formula and provide you with potential matches.
Perfectmatch.com. Using a compatibility system, this dating site emails you when a good match for you becomes available. Perfectmatch.com has been receiving lots of rave reviews recently.
SinglesNet. This free service offers most of the same services available in the for-pay dating services. Gaining in popularity, the database is over 5 million strong.
Lavalife. Choose to look for dates, relationships, or intimate encounters on this site. You can create three different profiles for each of the three different categories offered or select only one or two of them. This service is totally free and has a huge member base.
Great Expectations. Combining online dating services and in-person matchmaking, this service meets every member in person and creates a match for potential dates. They also offer invitations to Great Expectations events where you can meet members face-to-face. This service is available in about 50 cities in the U.S.
Matchmaker. Answer questions about major issues to create your matchability with this site. The service is free, but you will need to pay if you want to contact a member.
American Singles. This site matches singles of any age and background. Touting itself as a dating site for everyone, you can choose a specific type of dating environment such as older or divorced couples.
SeniorFriendFinder. This site advertises to 50 somethings. It has over 2 million singles in their system, and anyone can join for free.

Yahoo! Personals. Completely free, this online dating service offers a wide range of categories from which you can search. Due to not having a cost associated with it and the popularity of Yahoo!, you are sure to find lots of potential here.
Match.com. One of the top online dating services, Match.com provides a huge member database. You can browse for free, but you will need a membership to contact any potential matches.
Friendfinder. This site is ideal for those who are starting to date again and just want to get their feet wet. Friendfinder is great for anyone hoping to find fun, friend, and maybe even love. There’s no pressure to hit it off romantically, so you can just enjoy the new people you meet.
eHarmony. This dating service offers a unique approach to online dating. Instead of browsing for dates or waiting for someone to come to you, they rely on a complex personality matching formula and provide you with potential matches.
Perfectmatch.com. Using a compatibility system, this dating site emails you when a good match for you becomes available. Perfectmatch.com has been receiving lots of rave reviews recently.
SinglesNet. This free service offers most of the same services available in the for-pay dating services. Gaining in popularity, the database is over 5 million strong.
Lavalife. Choose to look for dates, relationships, or intimate encounters on this site. You can create three different profiles for each of the three different categories offered or select only one or two of them. This service is totally free and has a huge member base.
Great Expectations. Combining online dating services and in-person matchmaking, this service meets every member in person and creates a match for potential dates. They also offer invitations to Great Expectations events where you can meet members face-to-face. This service is available in about 50 cities in the U.S.
Matchmaker. Answer questions about major issues to create your matchability with this site. The service is free, but you will need to pay if you want to contact a member.
American Singles. This site matches singles of any age and background. Touting itself as a dating site for everyone, you can choose a specific type of dating environment such as older or divorced couples.
SeniorFriendFinder. This site advertises to 50 somethings. It has over 2 million singles in their system, and anyone can join for free.

Three Ways To Avoid Picking "Mr. Wrong" Again After A Divorce..

You may feel ready to start dating again after your divorce but do you wonder how you can avoid picking a new mate just like your ex? Studies say that the divorce rate for second marriages can be up to 70%. It can be scary getting back into the dating game again. You may even question your own judgement, if you picked the wrong kind of man last time how do you know you won't do it again? Here are three ways to avoid picking "Mr. Wrong"and find the right guy the second time around:

1. Be in the moment. When you go out on a date, try and enjoy your time with your date without projecting into the future. As women we tend to size men up very quickly and make judgements about him. He may not be the right height, have the right job or be someone we are immediately attracted to, but by rushing to judgement, you could overlook a gem. If you are having a good time and are feeling good, go out with him again. Take it one date at a time and only go out with someone who makes you feel good.

2. Judge a potential new mate by his actions, not by what he says. Pay close attention to how your date behaves. Is he reliable? Does he call when he says he will? Do not make excuses for someone who is a sweet talker but may be unreliable. Always trust your instincts and if you have doubts, get out of the relationship.

3. Do not try and change someone into the person you want them to be. All too often, women make the mistake of trying to mold their new man into the man of their dreams. If you cannot accept your new man the way he is, he is not the man for you.

The best way to avoid another failed relationship is to work on yourself and your own happiness. When you are feeling happy, you naturally attract other happy people. Remember, like attracts like. The traits you desire in a new mate are the very same traits you need to cultivate in yourself. Become the type of person you desire a relationship with and you will attract that kind of person into your life.

Are You Dating A Divorced Man? Know What You are Getting Into...

If you are dating a divorced man with children, you need to fully understand what you are getting yourself into. It irks me when women date a divorced man and then complain that their boyfriend is paying too much child support and alimony.

Give me a break. You have to expect that if your boyfriend has an ex-wife and kids, he must fulfill his financial and parental obligations to his first family. Dating a divorced man is not like dating a man who has never been married before. Many women knowingly date these men and then get upset when he does not have the money or the time to spend on them.

Any decent man will put his kids first before your relationship. If you are not willing to accept the baggage that comes with dating a divorced man you should date someone who has never been married. Here are few things to expect while dating a divorce man:

1. Unless he is wealthy, he will have less money to spend on dinners out, vacations and other luxuries.

2. He will be spending time with his children. If you want him all to yourself, you are out of luck.

3. He must deal with his ex-wife when it comes to raising his children. You need to accept her as part of his life and get over your resentment.

Finally, if you plan on marrying a divorced man and want to have children, do not complain that there will be less money for your household because he pays child support. You knew about his obligations to his children before you married him. Also be aware that you will have a whole new set of issues with step children. There is nothing wrong with dating a divorced man and you can have a wonderful relationship, if you go into it with your eye wide open and know what to expect.

Rebound Marriages After a Divorce...

Sara Evans, country singer and former Dancing with the Stars contestant, revealed that she is engaged, just six short months after a nasty divorce battle. Even more shocking is the news that French President Nicolas Sarkozy , remarried model Carla Bruni, shortly after he divorced his wife of 11 years. His ex-wife also remarried in NYC over the weekend, only four months after their divorce was finalized.

What is going on with the trend of marrying again on the rebound shortly after a divorce? I have been divorced for almost 3 years and still cannot even imagine getting married again yet. I just don't get it.

After a divorce you need time to recover emotionally. Jumping into a new relationship too soon can be disastrous. What usually happens is that a person will find that the problems he or she had with their first partner are also in the new relationship. Until you have taken the time to reflect and analyze your marriage, the good, the bad and the ugly and take some responsibility for the divorce, you will just bring the same issues and problems from one relationship to another, never resolving them.

The time period after a divorce can be a great time to spend on yourself, learning to enjoy your own company ans rediscovering what makes you happy. After a divorce you need time to be single again before finding a new love. If you are contemplating a new romance shortly after a divorce, slow down and take some time out before committing too soon.

You Are Invited to The Largest Divorce Party In The U.S...


After suffering through my nasty, long divorce battle, I was emotionally drained. When the divorce papers were finally signed, I felt like celebrating. I had heard about divorce parties, but never got the chance to throw myself one. Then I met Rosalind Sedacca, a divorced woman who
also never had a divorce party and we decided it would be fun to throw ourselves and everyone else who has been through a divorce, the largest divorce party in the U.S.

South Florida’s first-ever Divorce Party will be held at Christopher's Nightclub in Fort Lauderdale on Friday, March 7th celebrating new beginnings for women and men who are facing or have experienced divorce. The theme of the Divorce Party is: Laugh, let go and move on. Your new life begins now!

The Divorce Party is being sponsored by Divorce Magazine(www.divorcemagazine.com) and co-sponsored by two prominent professionals who practice in South Florida. Cynthia Tiano, Esq., “The Mediator,” is the author of the new book, Happily Divorced (www.divorceTV.tv). Priscilla Marotta, PhD, is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and director of the Center of Psychological Effectiveness (www.solutionsnottalk.com).

"Our approach is connect with divorcing or divorced people in a light-hearted, fun way through a Divorce Party at one of the most popular night clubs in the heart of South Florida,” says Rosalind Sedacca, CCT. Rosalind is the author of How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook™ Guide to Preparing Your Children – with Love! “By offering fun games, contests, music, drinks, prizes and a free Goodie Bag, we’re inviting attendees to release some energy and have a good time in a safe, supportive environment.”

“We are expecting between 400-600 people all looking to have a good time. Your'e welcome to bring your friends to the celebration – even those who are married. And who knows, some people may even end up meeting their next ex!” We have planned a full roster of activities including a “Pin the Blame on Your Ex” game, “Toss the Wedding Ring in the Toilet,” and dancing to your favorite break-up songs all night long.

However, the theme is not about bashing and revenge. Quite the contrary. In addition to holding a “Worst Ex of South Florida” contest, we are also having a “Happy Divorce” contest inviting stories about split partners who are still getting along and plan on remaining friends. In fact, we promise that attendees who actually show up with their ex will receive special prizes.

“Our books, CDs and seminars offer sound advice for a very serious subject,” notes Sedacca. “But everyone needs time to kick up their heels and laugh, especially when life is stressful.” “The Divorce Party concept is our way of encouraging people to add balance to their lives,” adds Rowe. “Laughter, especially at ourselves, is one of the healthiest things we can do.”

Several other South Florida sponsors, including www.divorce360.com will be supporting the event with discount coupons and products in the free Goodie Gift Bags. Plus the new management at Christopher’s Night Club will be offering “Marriage on the Rocks” drink specials, discounted Heinekens beer and a Ladies Drink Free promotion from 9:30 to 11:30!

If you live in the South Florida area, come out and join us, it is going to be a lot of fun! Sign the VIP Guest List at www.secretsofdivorce.com/divorceparty.html. VIP Guests will save $2 off the $10-at-the-door admission . Christopher’s Night Club is located at 2857 East Oakland Park Blvd. in Ft. Lauderdale.