Need an Increase in Child Support? Read this first...

With most of the nation facing tough economic conditions, many single parents may be tempted to take their ex back to court to get more child support. You need to be aware of a few things though before you attempt to get a modification of your child support order.

Most states calculate child support payments by using a computerized system where they input both parents incomes and then come up with a number based on a number of different factors, such as visitation, health care, etc. If you feel that your ex is earning more money than he was when the child support was first determined, you may be entitled to an increase in child support.

But be warned. By taking your ex back to court, he can also ask for a reduction. You need solid evidence that his income has substantially increased. If you do not have this proof, I would not advise trying to get your support order modified. I know a woman who went to court trying to get an increase and got a decrease instead after she could not prove that her ex-husband made more money. He owned his own business and was able to hide cash. Her ex, however, told the court that she had received a raise since their divorce. Since she worked at a company on the books and her income was easy to verify, she unfairly had her support reduced.

I know another woman whose ex owes her money for their children's health insurance and wants to go back to court. She is reluctant however, since her ex recently remarried and has a new baby. She is afraid he will apply for a reduction since he has a new child to support. She has a tough decision to make. Since her ex is not behind on actual child support payments, does she overlook the money she is owed for health insurance or take her chances in court and possibly have her child support payments reduced?

If you are receiving regular child support payments, now may not be a good time to rock the boat and take your ex back to court. Many parents are losing jobs and facing money problems right now. The last thing you want to do is go back to court and have your support payments reduced if your ex asks for a reduction.

If, however, you can prove that your ex is making more money and you have suffered a financial setback, you should file for a modification so that you can get the child support you need to take proper care of your children. Child support is not about trying to get more money from your ex for your own personal gain or attempting to reduce your support payments to get over on your ex-spouse, it is about two parents being responsible and doing their very best to financially provide for the children they brought into the this world.

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Turn Your Wedding Ring Into Cash...

With the stock market plummeting and gold pricing soaring, now may be the time to think about selling your wedding ring. You can get top dollar for old pieces of gold jewelry you may have.

Some people are even attending "gold parties" which are similar to Tupperware parties. How it works is you bring your gold and are paid cash on the spot. You can host your own gold party and invite all of your divorced friends. The website www.mygoldparty.com sells a book that even teaches you how to make money hosting your own gold parties. Of course you will want to be careful and make sure that you are getting the fair market value for any jewelry you might sell.

Selling the jewelry you acquired from your marriage is not for everyone though. Some people may feel sentimental about their wedding rings and want to pass them on to their children or simply not be ready to part with it. You may have strong feelings about certain jewelry your ex gave you and want to hold on to it. Whatever you decide, knowing that your gold pieces are increasing in value, unlike so many other investments nowadays, is comforting.

Christie Brinkley's Nasty Divorce Battle Continues...

I have been following the Christie Brinkley-Peter Cook divorce trial in the news over the last few days . This is a perfect example of how a divorce can spiral out of control ,like a tornado, damaging everyone in it's path.

The trial started on Wednesday with shocking testimony and repulsive, graphic details of Peter Cook's affair with a teenage and expensive porn habit. Yesterday the trial continued with Christie Brinkley on the stand, explaining how her life was shattered when she found out about her husband's affair.

At issue in this divorce trial is custody of the couple's two children and three properties bought by Ms. Brinkley, even though they have a pre-nup.

Here are some of the gory details, in case you have not been following the news:

Peter cook had an affair with an 18 year old who he hired because she was "beautiful" paying her $20,00 to type magazine articles into his company's website. He admits to leaving money for her in various location and having sex with her at two of Christie Brinkley's homes.

He also went on to pay his mistress $300,000 to keep quiet. Mr. Cook also admits to surfing porn and swinger websites and performing lewd acts in front of a web cam. He supposedly spent $3,000 a month on his porn habit. (Note: Peter Cook married Christie Brinkely with very little of his own money and few assets. Christie Brinkely paid the bills and supported their lavish lifestyle).

His step-daughter, Alexa Ray Joel, testified that he once pushed her head into a bucket of water after her shower leaked.

The biggest insult is that Peter Cook actually had the nerve to accuse his wife of being vengeful and angry and a "good actress". I think she has every reason to feel angry. Her husband, cheated, squandered her money and has added insult to injury by suing her for sole custody for their children.

Mr. Cook's lawyer feels that it has been 2 years and she should be over it by now. Sorry, but it does not work that way. The deep pain inflicted on a person whose spouse has cheated can take years to heal. Should she be using the trial to punish her husband? No. She needs to time to grieve the loss of her marriage and go through the many stages of grief. I don't think she is trying to get revenge here, only to protect her assets and retain custody of the children.

Should this trial be open to the public? I still think that was a mistake. The trial could of went on without everyone in the world knowing the graphic details. I can only imagine the how difficult this must be for their kids, having to hear the horrible details of their father's sexual habits and adultery.

If you are going through a divorce, let this divorce trial serve as an example of how ugly and nasty going to trial can get. Do everything possible to settle your divorce. That may mean giving up some things in order to avoid the pain a trial can bring.

Sometimes though, a trial becomes the only way to settle a divorce, especially when the issue is not primarily money, but custody of the children. In this case, both of these parents love their kids, and even though Peter Cook is not a good husband, it does not necessarily make him a bad father. He obviously has a problem and needs help. Unless there is physical or emotional abuse and evidence of one parent being a danger to the children, custody arrangements can be worked out.

In the end, Compromise is key. No one is happy with their divorce settlement and like I have said so many times before, the lawyers are the only true winners when a divorce battle drags on.

Should You Stay or Should You Go?

I was having a conversation with a friend the other day about her husband. She has been married for 18 years and is unhappy with her marriage. She told me about all of her husband's shortcomings, how he was not supportive of her career and how he was uninterested in the things she felt most passionate about. I could hear the frustration and disappointment in her voice.

She was angry with her husband because he would not change and become the person she wanted him to be. Divorce was looking like a viable option, a way out and a path to freedom. I explained that the grass often looks greener on the other side, and as a person who went through a divorce, no one can guess how devastating a divorce can be unless you have went through one personally.

When you are married, getting a divorce seems like a quick and easy fix when things get tough. No one is ever prepared for how divorce turns your life upside down. Everyone is affected, from your children to your friends and extended family.

What I told my friend was that the only person she can change is herself. Although it seems this couple is growing apart, it doesn't mean that their marriage is doomed. I advised her to think everyday of some of the good qualities her husband possesses. What you focus on expands, so when she continually dwells on his faults, she will experience more of them. By thinking of him in a positive light, he will feel that and may react more positively to her. Let's face it, you always know when someone is angry with you. You can feel their negative energy and it does not inspire you to react kindly to them.

Who knows whether or not her marriage will survive, but my advice to anyone who is contemplating divorce, barring any physical or emotional abuse or adultery, is to try everything you can to save your marriage before getting divorced. At least you will know that you did everything in your power to make your marriage work, even if things do not work out.

Find out the three things you must know to have a successful divorce outcome....