NO VACATION

I returned from holiday on Friday to find the country immersed in Royal Wedding mania and inundated by media coverage. Getting home too late in the day to watch the proceedings live, I had not envisaged that it would be quite so easy to catch up on the minute by minute details of the big day nor indeed so difficult to find anything else to watch on television. Every channel and every news bulletin appeared swamped by a plethora of pomp and procession. I quickly learnt from the various expert commentators that there would be a plague of copy cat weddings taking place not only in churches in this country but globally; ivory lace, trees in aisles, strawberry plants and Jerusalem will be the order of the day, together with chocolate biscuit wedding cakes.

I also learnt that only the groom knew the honeymoon destination although there was some comment that in these economically constrained times it would be appropriate for it to be a staycation here in the UK rather than a stay in an exotic, foreign location. It was probably sensible advice. The number of people marrying on tropical beaches has no doubt pushed up the cost of a wedding in recent years. Affordable if you have the savings to pay for it or a life time together to discharge the credit card interest. Divorce lawyers, however, see those cases where a marriage breaks down too quickly and the only financial legacy to show for it are the wedding photos and a large debt. Unsurprisingly neither party ever wants either of them.

Of greater surprise this weekend though was the announcement that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (as I was told they now are) will not be taking an immediate honeymoon after all. Forget the staycation it’s a no vacation, allowing the groom to return to work as soon as possible, though I doubt if it’s through financial necessity.

Outdoor Man and I of course set the precedent for the no vacation honeymoon marrying the day before a Bank Holiday weekend and then, as I recall, spending the weekend anti-fouling his boat! Still we remain together 24 years later, so perhaps it’s a good omen and a trend that might now catch on.

FOR RICHER OR POORER

When going through divorce there are many reasons why the vows made on a wedding day can come back to haunt. Take for instance the case yesterday in the Court of Appeal when it upheld the judgment against Mrs Marano made last year, ordering her to pay £5 million towards her ex-husband’s property losses.

“For richer or poorer,” has a certain resonance, and the case serves as a timely reminder in these economically challenging times, that fortunes can go either way. Whilst assets which accrue during a marriage can be shared on divorce, so too can debts.

OYEZ

Little Girl excels at shopping. Last week on a whistle stop tour around North West England she had ample opportunity to put her skills into practice. Fortunately she’s too young for a credit card. I say fortunately, because whilst visiting Chester I was reminded that credit card debt can be a great divider.

Is there any husband here with a wife who’s spending too much?” yelled the Town Crier.

Almost every man in the crowd raised his arm.

“I have a cure for credit card madness,” proclaimed the Crier, “Who wants it for their wife?”

Again every man present raised his hand.

Now should your marriage be in difficulties because of spending habits, can I recommend avoiding Chester. The shops are great but the Town Crier might just hone in on you. Certainly one poor woman, volunteered by her husband was chosen and promptly placed in the stocks!

“I’ll let her out at 6pm when the shops have closed,” the Crier promised, whilst inviting the crowd to return at that hour to witness the release.

Maybe I should have gone back. I suspect after being locked up as public spectacle for 6 hours, any woman would be seeking out a family lawyer for advice.

Bankruptcy and Child Support: Does it get your ex off the hook?

With more and more people in debt and the current economic conditions, we may see a rise in bankruptcy filings. You may be wondering if filing for bankruptcy relieves a parent of his or her obligation to pay child support. Thankfully, the answer is no. Even if your ex files for bankruptcy he or she still must pay child support.

It may even benefit you if you ex is behind on payments. I found this information on http://family-law.freeadvice.com:

"Under the post-October 17, 2005 rules, domestic support obligations are top priority in a Chapter 7 "asset case", where there are funds to pay creditors. The debtor should file a proof of claim to have most of his or her liquidated estate used to pay off the child support obligation. In a Chapter 13 case, your back child support payments will be paid through your Chapter 13 plan, in addition to the regular payments due after the petition date. These support obligations must be current in order to have your Chapter 13 plan confirmed. Moreover, to obtain a discharge in a Chapter 13 case, the debtor will have to certify that all post-petition child support obligations have been met"

If your ex is currently struggling to pay off credit card and other debts, he or she will have more money to pay child support after filing for bankruptcy. So there is no reason to panic if your ex files for bankruptcy.

A GLOBAL NIGHTMARE

Finally I am giving in and blogging about the credit crisis. With the world’s banks in turmoil, everyone understandably seems to be discussing and worrying about global meltdown and the credit crunch.

Not to be outdone, I found myself participating in such a discussion with one of my colleagues in the office this morning. As he specialises in insolvency work, I suggested that he could at least draw comfort from the fact that his must be an area of work that sadly will be in high demand in such times.

“Insolvency Practitioners have a saying,” he responded, presumably trying to reassure me also, “when the money runs out, so does the wife!”

THE AFTERMATH

I’ve just spoken to Constance on the telephone. She’s inconsolable. Following on from the events I reported yesterday, Toby Mug has left her. Poor chap, they’d only been together 5 minutes and already he’s had to bear the costs of relationship breakdown and without even a marriage certificate in sight.

No wonder so many young people (married or simply living together) organise their finances around a joint account with no overdraft facility into which they both contribute to meet the household expenses but otherwise keep their finances separate.

It still isn’t easy if one is a spender and the other isn’t but, as poor Mr Mug found out, if that is the scenario you can always cut your losses and run. Constance, of course, thinks he’s been rather unfair and should have been more understanding of her need for retail therapy after all she’s been through in the last few years. The trouble is, as I’ve had to tell her, a pile of presents on Christmas morning, a hotel break away afterwards and a hefty deposit for a summer holiday you can’t afford anyway, aren’t adequate compensation for a negative bank balance and money worries for months to come.

Constance is no longer speaking to me.

CREDIT CARD DEBT

It’s that time of year again when credit card bills drop through the letterbox and remind you of your pre-Christmas excesses. Limits on cards can easily exceed £10,000 and with many households having more than one card, it’s easy for debt to spiral out of control. It’s even worse when only one of the couple knows about the level of debt and far too often it is that scenario that can act as the trigger for separation and divorce.

My friend Constance called to see me again this evening. She’s hiding a guilty secret from her latest boyfriend, Toby Mug. He must be besotted because when they went out shopping together in December he foolishly opened a new credit card facility and authorised Constance as a user of the account. Sadly his trust could cost him dearly, although I do hope that I have persuaded her to act honourably, own up and offer to pay back.

There are two kinds of cashless people in our society:

• Those who can use credit cards properly and don’t need cash


• Those who can’t handle plastic and never have any cash either.
  

Constance is one of those who can’t and if she’s to have any chance of building and keeping a successful relationship she needs to adopt strategies for keeping her spending under control. For the time being I’ve stood over her as she’s sliced the offending card in two and extracted a promise that she’ll make a full confession before either Toby receives his monthly account or she enters a world of subterfuge and tries to hide it from him.

There’s still a chance that their relationship will hold and so long as the debt is containable, she may be able to clear it with a personal loan or a further mortgage advance at a lower rate of interest. Of course, I suppose Mr Mug might be prepared to overlook the whole matter. Indeed if I understand Constance correctly she’s of the mind to bring their relationship to an end and leave him with the debt (for which he alone is legally responsible) if he can’t see the funny side and appreciate her for what she is! After all she apparently treated him to an exotic break at a luxury hotel last weekend, using his credit card facility, of course. Honestly, I give up but I shall keep you updated.

THE JOY OF GIVING

Christmas has come to our town centres and for some the joy of giving can mean unbearable pressure and debt. Take my friend Constance for instance (click here for the blog entry when I first introduced you to her):

It seems she started Christmas shopping for her children a month or so ago now and keeps adding to the sum owed on her credit card debt almost daily, as her resistance to the demands placed on her by the ex’s relationship with their children steadily diminishes. Last night she told me that she’s just ordered the latest games console for her youngest (despite the fact that the child already possesses 2 earlier versions) because she knows the said child has been manipulating the ex to buy her mobile phone cum MP3 player cum 5 mega pixel camera and she can’t risk being outdone. Sadly I had to admit that she made me feel somewhat limited in imagination and generosity when I confessed to an intention to give Little Girl and Apprentice Man a book apiece and a box of toffees between them.

Later, Little Girl divulged her view that if (heaven forbid) Outdoor Man and I were to separate, then she might fare much better with her Christmas stocking than is usually the case. Hmmm, not that I really enjoy being manipulated, but maybe I’d better make it a box of toffees each this year.

THE ORIENT EXPRESS

At the weekend Outdoor Man and I had the good fortune to attend the Mayor of Darlington’s Annual Charity Ball. It was a fantastic evening and took the theme of an Evening on the Orient Express. It set me thinking about exotic holidays and how many people spend vast sums every year on such, especially if it’s for a special occasion like a honeymoon and sometimes even in desperation that it will save a failing marriage. Indeed the desire for that perfect holiday can cause us to go into overspend, buying now on the credit card to pay for the experience of a lifetime over the 12 months following.

The trouble is exotic holidays generally mean that you are very much alone with your travelling companion, and I’m told the Orient Express has quite confined sleeping compartments. You have to have a good relationship in the first place to survive such an experience, and if you don’t that credit card bill becomes a bug bear in the subsequent financial arrangements and divorce proceedings.

Outdoor Man tells me that we’d get along just fine travelling across Europe by sleeper train because he’d go to the bar. Based on the number of times he emptied his glass at the ball, I think he’s in training already!

DIVORCE RATE TO INCREASE

Yesterday whilst I was posting my blog entry about the decrease in the divorce rate, the newspapers yielded two storylines suggesting the contrary, although this may not have been apparent at first glance. The relevant headlines were along the lines of :
“Interest rates squeeze family budgets as housing becomes unaffordable” and “Cost of a loaf of bread rises above £1.”

Sadly when families begin to struggle financially, pressure upon them increases, relationships become fraught and in due course the divorce rate rises. Hiding the surge in global wheat prices towards the back of newspapers in the business and economic sections does society no favours. It needs to know what is coming next.