What's With All of the Angry Divorced Men Lately?...

I have been seeing more and more stuff on the Internet from angry, divorced men. They are pissed off about paying child support and alimony

and joining together in groups to gripe and bitch about how unfair the court

system is and how their ex-wives are nothing more than lazy, money hungry (insert expletive) women, out to squeeze every last dime out of them.

Now even though I coach primarily women and my book, Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce is written for women, I do have many men contact me and tell me their stories. I found that there is a distinct difference between the angry men and the good guys who have gotten a raw deal. I have coached men who are getting the short end of the stick in their divorces, yet ironically these are the same men who would never dream of not paying child support or bashing their ex-wives. They are able to put their anger aside and do what is best for their children.

On the other hand, the vocal men, who write foul comments on blogs and forums calling their ex names are usually the deadbeats. They whine and cry about how unfair life is instead of manning up and doing what is right. I think these guys should stop complaining. If you are really paying too much child support or do not get enough time with your kids then get a lawyer and go to court. You say the court system is biased towards women? Then do something to change it. Take action instead of spreading hatred.

No one is saying that there are not men out there who are having a tough time. Maybe they have been laid off at work, are disabled or just struggling to make ends meet. It is not easy raising children and most single moms are struggling too, even with child support payments, to provide for the kids. The fact remains, that if you have children, whether you are a man or women, the kids' needs come first.

So for all of the men out there who feel like they got a raw deal during their divorce, remember that you do have a choice. You can continue to complain about your circumstances and tell anyone who will listen just how unfair the court system is or you can accept what is and focus on what you can do to positively improve your life and the lives of your children.

Bankruptcy and Child Support: Does it get your ex off the hook?

With more and more people in debt and the current economic conditions, we may see a rise in bankruptcy filings. You may be wondering if filing for bankruptcy relieves a parent of his or her obligation to pay child support. Thankfully, the answer is no. Even if your ex files for bankruptcy he or she still must pay child support.

It may even benefit you if you ex is behind on payments. I found this information on http://family-law.freeadvice.com:

"Under the post-October 17, 2005 rules, domestic support obligations are top priority in a Chapter 7 "asset case", where there are funds to pay creditors. The debtor should file a proof of claim to have most of his or her liquidated estate used to pay off the child support obligation. In a Chapter 13 case, your back child support payments will be paid through your Chapter 13 plan, in addition to the regular payments due after the petition date. These support obligations must be current in order to have your Chapter 13 plan confirmed. Moreover, to obtain a discharge in a Chapter 13 case, the debtor will have to certify that all post-petition child support obligations have been met"

If your ex is currently struggling to pay off credit card and other debts, he or she will have more money to pay child support after filing for bankruptcy. So there is no reason to panic if your ex files for bankruptcy.