illinois family law case law updates

Illinois Cases

Civil - Abuse And Neglect/ Termination Of Parental Rights / Guardianship 1st Dist.
In re Mark W., a Minor, No. 1-05-3370 (June 19, 2008) 4th div. (Neville) Affirmed.
Evidence that disabled adult mother of minor was unfit within meaning of Adoption Act by virtue of her failure to maintain a reasonable degree of care and concern and failure to make reasonable progress toward the return of her child is not against the manifest weight of the evidence; because mother, and her guardian were uncooperative, mother's guardian refused to sign consents for State to obtain her progress at therapy, mother and her guardian took advantage of only one fourth of the opportunities given them for visitation, and mother demonstrated no bond with child. Further, mother's guardian, without court order providing for it, was not child's custodian pursuant to provisions of Section 11a-17 of Probate Act, and was not entitled to temporary custody hearing. In addition, considering testimony of child's therapist that it would be detrimental for him to testify, trial court did not abuse its discretion when it refused to allow mother's guardian to call him as wit ness.

Civil - Child Custody/ Attorneys' Fees / Child Representative 1st Dist.
In re Marriage of Thompson, No. 1-06-0472 (June 23, 2008) 1st div. (Cahill) (GARCIA, dissent) Reversed and remanded.
After trial court discharged child representative, and father asked for court to conduct evidentiary hearing on representative's final fee petition, trial court erred when it allowed child representative fees without first conducting an evidentiary hearing.

Famous Fathers Setting a Good Example During Divorce..

I write many articles about nasty celebrity divorces and about deadbeat dads, so I thought it would only be fair to write about two famous dads who are taking the high road during their divorces and doing the right thing.

First up is Robin Williams. Not only has he not bashed his wife in public, he actually signed an agreement not so so. He and his wife are going the Collaborative Divorce route and working together to resolve their differences in a amicable manner. This will undoubtedly have a positive effect on the couple's children.

Next we have Russell Simmons. He has recently worked out a custody agreement with soon to be ex wife Kimora Lee Simmons. Russell is paying a substantial monthly sum in child support and had this to say about Kimora and their agreement:

"Finally, I want to say Kimora is a excellent mother and is doing a great job with them. My kids are studying a couple of foreign languages, they travel around the world, they practice yoga, ballet, swimming, karate and piano, among other things...sometimes I think they do too much, but I trust in Kimora on this because she IS a good mother.
Regarding the money, my kids live a tremendous life. They do have lots of security, nannies, educators, special programs, travel, chefs, on and on. Their mother manages all of those luxuries and I’m happy to provide for that."

Wouldn't it be wonderful if all divorcing dads and moms acted with such class and dignity, putting the needs of their children first, instead of withholding financial support to get even with their ex? You do not need Russell Simmons huge bank account to provide a comfortable living for your kids.

Instead of complaining about how much you have to pay in child support or assuming your ex is spending that support on themselves, you can take the high road these two famous fathers have taken. Learn from their example. Neither is bashing their ex or fighting or complaining about the financial support they must pay.

Can You Forgive Your Ex and Let Go?

If you have gone through a bitter divorce and especially if your ex has cheated, it can be very difficult to let go of anger and resentment. People tell you that you need to move on and forgive, but sometimes that is easier said than done.

I want to share a story with you about a friend of mine, who was so angry with her ex, she couldn't even say his name without seething with anger. She hated him with a passion and was more than happy to share with you all of her ex-husband's dirty deeds. This went on for over 5 years.

Then one day, as she was getting dressed, she noticed an unusual spot on her chest. She quickly made an appointment with a dermatologist. In the days leading up to her appointment her mind raced with thoughts of skin cancer and dying. She thought of her two grown children and how terrible it would be leaving them.

Then she thought of her ex-husband. Suddenly, it hit her; Did she really hate him so much that she could leave this earth without resolving her issues with him? She made the decision to call him and asked him to come over.

For hours she let her feelings out and told him how much he had hurt her but she also told him that she would like to forgive him and be civil to one another for the sake for their children. He was stunned and tears welled up in his eyes. He was thrilled to finally be forgiven and no longer the target of his ex-wife's hatred.

Her two kids were also elated. For years they could not even tell their mother they were visiting their dad for fear it would upset her. Fortunately, she does not have skin cancer. But it took a scare to turn her life around. She now feels lighter, like a giant weight has been lifted. Her ex has even offered to come over and help her with the pool in the backyard that needs work.

This story has a happy ending, but most bitter divorce battles do not end up this way. Couples go on for years and years hating each other and holding on to anger and bitterness. In order to let go, you need to start over. Right where you are now. You have to let the past go. If you continually think about what your ex has done to you and all of the terrible things you have been through in your divorce, you keep those memories and feelings alive.

As my friend has proved, anybody, even in the worst divorce cases, can forgive and let go. Hopefully you will not need a life threatening illness to wake up and realize that life is too short for grudges and hatred.

Find out the three things you must know to have a successful divorce outcome.....

MISSING HIM

So Tony Blair has been gone a year and on Radio Two at lunchtime on Friday the track from this You Tube video was being played. Can you imagine how that little girl would have felt if it had been her father rather than the Prime Minister who was departing?

Celebrity Divorces In the News This Week....

This was a busy week for divorcing celebrities. Here is a run down:

Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook: Their divorce trial is set to begin next week. Meanwhile, Christie has subpoenaed the 19 year old girl her ex-husband had an affair with to testify in court.

Kimora Lee Simmons and Russell Simmons: Looks like this is an amicable divorce, with Russell agreeing to pay $40,000 a month in child support.

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline: Britney gets overnight visits with the boys but they are still unable to settle custody issues in mediation. Trial is set for later this summer

Hulk and Linda Hogan: Hulk confesses he still loves Linda even though they are getting divorced. Linda is still dating the 19 year old friend of her daughter, Brooke. Brooke is no longer speaking to her mom.

Madonna and Guy Ritchie: Rumored to be getting a divorce. Madonna supposedly met with Paul McCartney's pitbull of a divorce attorney. Amazingly, rumors are that there is no pre-nup and Guy could get half of Madonna's 600 million fortune.

FATIGUED

I have had a very busy month and am absolutely worn out. Fortunately I am taking a day off tomorrow; my first since March. Going through a separation, especially if it results in a messy divorce, invariably leaves clients stressed and fatigued. Imagine how tiring it can be for their solicitor, involved in a hundred or more divorces at once!

10 Ways to talk to your ex when they won't talk to you

If you are like me there are times when it is very hard to talk to your ex about anything. It is extremely hard when you are willing to talk and they aren't. It seems like your ex is weilding what little power they hold over you by setting the tone for your conversations.Back in the day, I used to get so angry when my kids' dad would not talk to me. It made me feel controlled, or that I was so

Graduation Day

My son is graduating today. My youngest son graduated on Tuesday. Well, Tuesday was actually a moving up day but today is a real end of the line graduation. Surprisingly on Tuesday I was an emotional mess as I watched my little boy turn from a 5th grader into a 6th grade boy before my eyes. Maybe it was the slide show that chronicled his and his friends lives from Kindergarten throughout elementary. He grew from baby to young boy before my eyes. I was teary right from the moment the first slide came on and wept throughout the ceremony as my husband and kids smiled with delight at Mom's emotional breakdown.
Today strangely enough I am not feeling the same emotion I felt on Tuesday. I tried to examine the reason and though it is yet to be seen as to whether I will weep again as my child walks up to get his diploma, I sense that I am more excited than sad today. On Tuesday I felt that my baby was now a young boy and the loss of his "babyhood" upset me. Today I am proud and excited that my son is a young man about to embark on what I consider the most exciting time of his life.
My oldest will be entering college in the fall and I am thrilled for him as he leaves the confines of High School and ventures out to explore the horizons of higher education. Gone are the clicks and hopefully the peer pressure so insidious in our public high schools. I have always felt that Colleges are more accepting of the individual and encourage such individuality as opposed to the cookie cutter mentality of public high schools. This has been a very exciting week for our household and households throughout Long Island. I wish the very best to the Class of 2008....

PS..6/27/08....I wept at the High School gradution also!!!

Graduation Day

My son is graduating today. My youngest son graduated on Tuesday. Well, Tuesday was actually a moving up day but today is a real end of the line graduation. Surprisingly on Tuesday I was an emotional mess as I watched my little boy turn from a 5th grader into a 6th grade boy before my eyes. Maybe it was the slide show that chronicled his and his friends lives from Kindergarten throughout elementary. He grew from baby to young boy before my eyes. I was teary right from the moment the first slide came on and wept throughout the ceremony as my husband and kids smiled with delight at Mom's emotional breakdown.
Today strangely enough I am not feeling the same emotion I felt on Tuesday. I tried to examine the reason and though it is yet to be seen as to whether I will weep again as my child walks up to get his diploma, I sense that I am more excited than sad today. On Tuesday I felt that my baby was now a young boy and the loss of his "babyhood" upset me. Today I am proud and excited that my son is a young man about to embark on what I consider the most exciting time of his life.
My oldest will be entering college in the fall and I am thrilled for him as he leaves the confines of High School and ventures out to explore the horizons of higher education. Gone are the clicks and hopefully the peer pressure so insidious in our public high schools. I have always felt that Colleges are more accepting of the individual and encourage such individuality as opposed to the cookie cutter mentality of public high schools. This has been a very exciting week for our household and households throughout Long Island. I wish the very best to the Class of 2008....

PS..6/27/08....I wept at the High School gradution also!!!

When The Divorce Never Ends....

Did you hear about the woman in Florida who has been going through a divorce for 13 years and has been through 16 lawyers and 10 judges? Sounds unbelievable, but unfortunately it is true. Even though she was awarded $240,000 and $6,000 a month in alimony and attorney fees, she has only been able to get $162,000 of that, half of which the lawyers took and the rest went to martial debt. Now Marlene Forland is on public assistance and living with her mother.

Ms. Forland continues to fight for justice and force her ex-husband, who has eluded the law by moving out of state, to pay up. What I wonder is how much has this divorce case actually cost this woman emotionally? I cannot fathom fighting a divorce case for 13 years. My own divorce battle lasted 18 months and that was more than enough.

Maybe it is time for her to let go. Yes, it is not fair. Her ex should not get away with dodging a court order and leaving his ex-wife destitute. But what if Ms. Forland decided to put all of her energy into herself and rebuilding her life? What if her focus switched to starting a business or going back to school so she could get off public assistance? I am not judging her in anyway and can completely understand her outrage and frustration. The problem is that she is caught in a web of negative energy fighting in a legal system that only benefits the lawyers. The more she fights, the higher her legal fees.

Even the judge in the case recently said, “Even if I rule 100 percent in your favor, I’m just going to add another piece of paper [to your casefile] — the next page of Volume 13.”

If she could emotionally detach herself from this and release her anger at this injustice, she might be able to create a new life without focusing everyday on how to get her ex to pay. I have a feeling this man will get what he deserves in the end, anyway. "What goes around , comes around" and someone who flees the state and goes into hiding to avoid paying their ex alimony cannot be attracting good things into his life.

Find out the three things you must know to win your divorce....

What Is Your New Beginnings Symbol?

Divorce is not only an ending, it is a new beginning. Why not mark this beginning with something memorable and fun?! What can you do with yourself or your family to mark this new chapter in your life?I took my children for a photo shoot. I found a secluded place where I run and think, and that has meaning to me and I asked our family photographer to take pictures of me and the girls to mark the

EVERYTHING BUT THE KITCHEN SINK

I have spent a large part of today immersed in securing a freezing order. There are various emergency remedies that family lawyers are required to seek from time to time. Waiting in the warm ante room with the sun beating down outside, it reminded me of an occasion when one June day once upon a time I had made an application for a similar order in relation to the entire contents of a house. My client, unable to bear the stresses of living in the same property as her husband with whom she was embroiled in divorce proceedings, had decided to snatch a few days respite in a guest house on the Yorkshire Coast. Whilst there she received a disturbing telephone message from a neighbour which prompted her to return home immediately. When she opened the front door, her first reaction was to assume that they had been burgled for the house had been stripped bare. There were no light fittings, carpets, radiators, or kitchen units let alone furniture or electrical appliances. Plants had even been lifted from the garden along with 2 garden gnomes. The only thing left was the kitchen sink and even the taps had gone from that. The police were called but it was the absence of the husband too, that gave away the identity of the likely culprit. He was found in the house of his new partner, which was described by those who saw it as being somewhat over furnished!

Three Stupid Mistakes Divorced People Make...

I was inspired to write about the stupid mistakes divorced people make after reading about the ongoing divorce battle between Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards. Charlie Sheen has said and done some very dumb things and hopefully you can learn from his mistakes and not repeat them during your own divorce. Here they are:

1. Do not leave threatening messages on your ex's voicemail. This should be a no brainer for anyone going through a nasty divorce. If you lose control and leave angry messages on your ex's voicemail, be certain that your ex will use it against you. Denise Richards released tapes of her ex calling her all sorts of horrible names and racial slurs.

2. When you give a gift to your children, it becomes their property and you cannot tell them to leave it at "your house" and not bring it to your ex's home. This is a huge mistake divorcing parents make, In an effort to control their ex, they will buy the kids clothes and toys that are only for their own home, not to be brought to mom or dad's. This is upsetting to the children and puts them in the middle. Charlie Sheen did this recently, when during his recent wedding, he bought his two young daughter's necklaces and demanded they take them off before returning home to their mother's house.

3. This one is obvious. Do not bad mouth your ex to anyone who will listen. Let's face it, most of us are guilty of this. We get a sympathetic ear, and off we go, bashing the ex. It makes us feel good to get someone "on our side". But what it really does is create negative energy and prolong the time it takes to recover from your divorce. Limit your discussions about your ex to a few family members or good friends. Both Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are guilty of bashing each other and have the entire world as their audience. Unfortunately the drama and bitterness cannot end until they both stop talking and let go of the anger and hatred they have for one another.

Should Divorce Trials Be Kept Private?

A N.Y. Court has granted model Christie Brinkley's request to keep her divorce trial with husband Peter Cook public . Her ex had requested the proceedings be made private to protect their two children. He was caught cheating on the former supermodel with a 19 year old assistant and did not want the public to have access to the dirty laundry that will inevitably be aired during this divorce trial.

I think this divorce trial should be kept private, although not to protect Mr. Cook's reputation. The issue here is their two children. Now that the trial is going to be open to the public, it means that the press will be privy to everything. Naturally they will report on all of the allegations, including ones of porn addiction and other deviant behavior by their father. These kids may be teased at school and unfortunately will be able to read about their parent's divorce on the Internet and see it on T.V.

Although you wan to be truthful with your kids during a divorce, you also want to spare them the ugly details. Keeping a divorce trial private, especially for celebrities, also protects the children from hearing things that they may not be able to comprehend at a young age. I am sure Christie Brinkley feels hurt and angry and wants to make her ex suffer by humiliating and embarrassing him. After what he has done, he deserves it. But her kids do not. By dragging him through the mud, she is going to take the kids along for the ride.

LOYALTY

One of my colleagues, Fred Burton, retired this week, after 72 years since he first joined the staff way back in 1936 . Save for a period of service with the RAF during the Second World War, his employment has been continuous, albeit in latter years devoted to library duties for two days per week. Now aged 88, Fred, who has been interviewed by both the Press and local TV station concerning this remarkable achievement, has accredited it to enjoying his work and the company of the other people in the office.

Fred hails from an era when loyalty to King and country as well as to family and employer were paramount. Back in 1936 and despite the publicity engendered that year by the abdication of Edward VIII in order to marry the divorcee Mrs Simpson, divorce was still pretty much an unknown concept for ordinary folk.

There is an argument that if we could rediscover the ethos of loyalty rather than the pursuit of self gratification, the divorce rate would decrease and society would be simpler and more stable. Some might even say happier. Ultimately, however, loyalty has to be earned and should be a two way process not a belief or principle generated by blind faith. That’s why employers in the 21st century have to work to retain staff and it takes both partners in a marriage to commit to and work at that union for it to remain successful.

Facebook, My Space, Dating...Just Say NO

When I first started practicing matrimonial law I never imagined that adults would find it necessary to put pictures of themselves on the Internet. I certainly never imagined these pictures would include their children and the thought of these pictures being inappropriate never would have crossed my mind. Fast forward to the year 2008 and now after practicing for 21 years I have the need to add a new question to my matrimonial intakes. "Are there any inappropriate pictures of you on the Internet? If so remove them, immediately." Why grown men and women think it's a good idea to expose themselves to the entire world is something I have trouble comprehending.
Lately it seems that every motion which comes into my office has exhibits of pictures from an account on My Space, or Facebook. Are these pictures always damaging? No. Is it a fatal flaw to an otherwise valid case? No. But just like dating when you are involved in a divorce case, it is unnecessary and just one other thing for our adversary to try to latch on to in order to discredit a client's character or credibility. Also I find that many of my clients fail to disclose to me that they even have such an account or website, and that my first exposure to it comes in the form of paperwork from the adversary showing me things about my client I would sometimes rather not have the world see. Putting one's children on the Internet is a rather unsavory practice but many parents seem to have no trouble doing it especially in the context of trying to humanize themselves to attract members of the opposite sex. While this is more common in post matrimonial cases, these pictures of children on these accounts is widely frowned upon by the courts in general. Words are one thing..pictures tell a whole other story.
So to sum it up:

Get pictures of your kids off the Internet.
Get naked pictures of yourself off the Internet.
Get all inappropriate pictures off of your sight.
No dating until there is a divorce settlement.
If all of this offends you....please find yourself another attorney.

PS. And I invite anyone out there to explain to me why grown people have the need for a MY Space or Face Book account in the first place.

Facebook, My Space, Dating...Just Say NO

When I first started practicing matrimonial law I never imagined that adults would find it necessary to put pictures of themselves on the Internet. I certainly never imagined these pictures would include their children and the thought of these pictures being inappropriate never would have crossed my mind. Fast forward to the year 2008 and now after practicing for 21 years I have the need to add a new question to my matrimonial intakes. "Are there any inappropriate pictures of you on the Internet? If so remove them, immediately." Why grown men and women think it's a good idea to expose themselves to the entire world is something I have trouble comprehending.
Lately it seems that every motion which comes into my office has exhibits of pictures from an account on My Space, or Facebook. Are these pictures always damaging? No. Is it a fatal flaw to an otherwise valid case? No. But just like dating when you are involved in a divorce case, it is unnecessary and just one other thing for our adversary to try to latch on to in order to discredit a client's character or credibility. Also I find that many of my clients fail to disclose to me that they even have such an account or website, and that my first exposure to it comes in the form of paperwork from the adversary showing me things about my client I would sometimes rather not have the world see. Putting one's children on the Internet is a rather unsavory practice but many parents seem to have no trouble doing it especially in the context of trying to humanize themselves to attract members of the opposite sex. While this is more common in post matrimonial cases, these pictures of children on these accounts is widely frowned upon by the courts in general. Words are one thing..pictures tell a whole other story.
So to sum it up:

Get pictures of your kids off the Internet.
Get naked pictures of yourself off the Internet.
Get all inappropriate pictures off of your sight.
No dating until there is a divorce settlement.
If all of this offends you....please find yourself another attorney.

PS. And I invite anyone out there to explain to me why grown people have the need for a MY Space or Face Book account in the first place.

caselaw update

Civil - Child Support/ Garnishment / Judgments 3rd Dist.
In re Marriage of Takata, No. 3-07-0175 (June 12, 2008) Peoria County (O'brien) Reversed and remanded.
Trial court erred when it denied motion for turnover order of father's current wife's 401K account to satisfy judgment against father for child support arrearage. Funds in account are marital property, having been accumulated during marriage between father and his current wife; and are not exempt from collection for child support judgment. (Appellee's failed to file briefs)

Pregnancy and delivery expenses

Pregnancy and delivery expenses
Senate Bill 2594 (Millner, R-Carol Stream; Ramey, R-Carol Stream) amends the Illinois Parentage Act to allow the court to order either parent to pay the reasonable expenses related to the mother?s pregnancy and delivery incurred by either parent or the Department of Healthcare and Family Services. Allows such actions to be filed within two years after a judicial determination of parentage. Current law is shorter; two years within the date of the child?s birth. Sent to the Governor.

Are Your Kids Out of Control After Your Divorce?...

I have four kids, two girls and two boys. My sons are now 14 and 15 and have become quite a challenge. They are good boys, but typical teenagers who can become disrespectful at times and tend to challenge me when I attempt to discipline them. I was trying to figure out why I am having a difficult time disciplining them and then after watching an episode of "Supernanny", of all things, it hit me.

When I was married, my husband was the tough disciplinary in the family. I would, like many moms, hand much of the disciplining over to him. I am sure we have all heard, growing up ,our mothers saying "Just wait until Dad gets home". That is how it was in my home. Mom was the easy going , nurturing Mom who we could get our way with but there was no getting over on Dad. My brother and I would be struck with fear when we misbehaved, knowing we would have to face Dad.

So when I had my own kids I guess I subconsciously modeled my parents parenting style. My husband become the one who laid down the law with the kids when he got home. The problem began when my husband no longer came home and moved out.

After the divorce, it became more difficult to discipline my sons. For some reason though my two daughters have remained relatively easy. My oldest daughter is now 21 and my youngest 10 and maybe because they are girls and see me as a role model, I have not had the same issues with them as I have had with my sons, who are growing up without a father figure in the house.

I think my recent revelation means that I need to stand up and become a stronger disciplinary figure in my home. Regardless of gender, a parent can be viewed as a strong, firm but loving parent. I share my own story here because I think this is an issue that many single parents face.

After a divorce, there are so many logistics to work out with the kids, from custody arrangements, child support and visitation. I think very few parents ponder what a divorce will mean as far as disciplining the kids and what parental roles need to be adjusted now that the kids no longer live in a two parent home.

SEPARATING CIVILLY

So Civil Partnerships have finally come of age with the announcement today that Matt Lucas is separating from his partner Paul McGee. In what will of course be the first high-profile gay divorce the couple have asked for privacy as well as restraint by the Press. I assume of course that, unlike his character, Andy in Little Britain, who is forever running back to his wheelchair and carer as soon as he has had a little pleasure and delight, Matt Lucas will not be doing the same.

Danger! Divorce Curves Ahead

Good Evening and welcome to the first official post of the new site. I am so glad that you are here.I once heard that you are either a wife or a husband for a finite length of time, but you are an ex-wife or ex-husband forever. I have decided that if I am going to wear that title for the rest of my life, I want to make it a title I am proud of.No matter what, if you are divorced and have children

EMOTIONAL RESPONSES

Yesterday I blogged about the unromantic Italian gent who kidnapped his ex-girlfriend to get household chores done. Today I have had my attention drawn to this story from South Korea, where another jilted gent decided to sue his ex for the money he had spent dating her. Well at least it shows that mean spiritedness is global.

Anyway it seems the Japanese toy firm Sega may have come up with a solution in the form of a robot known as EMA or Eternal Maiden Actualisation. (Click here for the news report.) She goes on sale in September in a marketing drive that is going to be aimed at lonely adult men. She is described as sweet and interactive, kissing on command. She also sings, dances and hands out business cards. It doesn’t look as though she does the washing and ironing, but apart from her initial price tag of approximately £90, there shouldn’t be any need to incur the cost of bouquets of roses or other love tokens in seeking to woo her.

We're Under Construction

Welcome!This blog is a companion blog to the Faydra and Company, Awakening Human Potential, blog. Our purpose here is to help you get out of the mire and the muck of divorce and to find that divorce does not have to be hellish. This blog will deliver helpful hints, uplifting concepts and open dialogue about all things divorce, with the caveat of focusing on successful post-divorce relationships.

Putting the Kids First During Divorce...

The second annual recognition of National Child-Centered Divorce Month will take place throughout July across the United States. Professionals who deal with divorce issues -- therapists, attorneys, mediators, coaches, educators, clergy and others – will be joining forces to share valuable parenting messages. One of the most significant is: Don’t Make Your Child a Pawn in Your Conflict. Instead, put your children's needs first when making decisions related to divorce or separation.
National Child-Centered Divorce Month was initiated by Rosalind Sedacca, a Certified Corporate Trainer and author of the new book, How Do I Tell the Kids about the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide to Preparing Your Children -- with Love! Sedacca has created a Child-Centered Divorce Network for parents and works closely with a broad group of therapists, attorneys, mediators, divorce coaches, educators and other professionals who focus on creating the most positive and harmonious outcomes for families transitioning through divorce.
Sedacca is passionate about enlisting the nation’s legal and therapeutic communities for one purpose: bringing a heightened awareness to parents about their children’s fragile sense of self-esteem. “We can never overemphasize how dramatically parental decisions about divorce can affect their children – for years – and often for a lifetime.”
Sedacca’s new book is based on her personal experience more than a decade ago when she was facing the difficult task of breaking her divorce news to her eleven year old son. She ultimately created a simple and compassionate storybook, integrating family photos and history, as a successful way to move through the tough conversation.
Now her innovative Create-a-Storybook™ strategy has become a customizable ebook with age-appropriate fill-in-the-blank templates, along with advice from six practicing therapists. The book is designed to keep parents on track with the right messages. Children (ages 5-15) love to see themselves in the family photos and derive comfort from being able to read the book again and again in the weeks and months that follow.
Sedacca attributes most of the negative consequences of divorce to one or both parents making choices that are not in the best interest of their children. “Frequently,” she says, “parents are so caught up in their own drama -- in anger, resentment, frustration, grief and other emotions -- that they forget their children love both Mom and Dad and in most cases do not want to lose the connection with their other parent.”
Throughout National Child-Centered Divorce Month she wants to remind parents to share some important messages with their children. These include:
None of this is your fault.
Both Mom and Dad still love you -- and always will.
Despite the changes in your life, you will be okay because Mom and Dad are handling things with you best interest at heart.
Sedacca stresses that “your children are innocent victims of your choices. They are also relatively powerless and emotionally fragile. If you love them, think before you act and remember to put their needs first.”

DOMESTIC SERVICE

Reuters today reported that an Italian man has been arrested for kidnapping his former girlfriend. (Click here for the full story). Apparently he took her back to his home and forced her to wash up and iron for him. In England Northern men, as epitomised by Andy Capp, are reputed for their lack of skills on the domestic front and there’s many a woman I’ve advised who feels that she has become no more than an unpaid skivvy. That said I would struggle to recall a case so blatantly chauvinistic as this one, and to think I thought Italians were famed for their irresistible romantic charm!

I Need To Be Relieved

Occasionally, some of my clients feel they no longer need to live up to the terms of the engagement agreement they sign with me which says, as long as I do work on the file, they have to pay me. While in the thick of the divorce, often times money gets tight and people get angry and lawyers get.....shafted. Our clients tell us we need to wait to get paid and that we should know all about why they can't pay us and ask that we understand their financial predicament. That of course is all very true, however, what most clients fail to consider is that my bills also need to get paid. Lipa and the telephone company are not at all interested in the fact that my clients are not paying their bills and therefore I cannot pay them. My employees are not very understanding when I ask them to skip a paycheck because after all we are here to help people first, and make money second. Usually I offer many different payment plans and will help any client who shows me a good faith effort. Going hand in hand with the "I can't pay you" attitude is the "I am not happy with your representation of me.." Most recently I was told "You really aren't a shark, and my case is cut and dry; You should have done more with it." Now couple those two things together with the ever present, "why do I have to bring you all these documents? For what I pay you can't you just subpoena what you need?"

For anyone who has ever been involved in any kind of litigation, you know the more information you as the client can produce the less the lawyer will charge in hourly fees to obtain them. Subpoenas are not free, they cost money to draft and to serve. I am an attorney, not a gofer..or secretary..or your employee....I am a professional hired to handle your divorce case and get you the best deal I can. I am not in a personality contest, or popularity contest and I really don't care if you think I am not bitchy enough, or too bitchy. I am doing my job the best way that I know how. If you do not like the way I am handling your case, fire me. Retain new counsel and we shall part ways.....oh but why should they fire me when they aren't paying me you ask? That is the essence of this article. Now I need to apply to the court and ask that the judge relieve me as counsel. Most times the judge will ask why and most times they are not sympathetic to the fact that we as attorneys aren't getting paid. Therefore, this can only be one factor in the decision to be relieved. Once communication with the client is broken and we can no longer work together, combined with the fact that I AM NOT GETTING PAID, will often lead me to ask for relief..... this is what I needed to do this week. And you know what...it was a tremendous help in reducing my stress level....Now I am free to concentrate on clients who appreciate me, and pay me.

I Need To Be Relieved

Occasionally, some of my clients feel they no longer need to live up to the terms of the engagement agreement they sign with me which says, as long as I do work on the file, they have to pay me. While in the thick of the divorce, often times money gets tight and people get angry and lawyers get.....shafted. Our clients tell us we need to wait to get paid and that we should know all about why they can't pay us and ask that we understand their financial predicament. That of course is all very true, however, what most clients fail to consider is that my bills also need to get paid. Lipa and the telephone company are not at all interested in the fact that my clients are not paying their bills and therefore I cannot pay them. My employees are not very understanding when I ask them to skip a paycheck because after all we are here to help people first, and make money second. Usually I offer many different payment plans and will help any client who shows me a good faith effort. Going hand in hand with the "I can't pay you" attitude is the "I am not happy with your representation of me.." Most recently I was told "You really aren't a shark, and my case is cut and dry; You should have done more with it." Now couple those two things together with the ever present, "why do I have to bring you all these documents? For what I pay you can't you just subpoena what you need?"

For anyone who has ever been involved in any kind of litigation, you know the more information you as the client can produce the less the lawyer will charge in hourly fees to obtain them. Subpoenas are not free, they cost money to draft and to serve. I am an attorney, not a gofer..or secretary..or your employee....I am a professional hired to handle your divorce case and get you the best deal I can. I am not in a personality contest, or popularity contest and I really don't care if you think I am not bitchy enough, or too bitchy. I am doing my job the best way that I know how. If you do not like the way I am handling your case, fire me. Retain new counsel and we shall part ways.....oh but why should they fire me when they aren't paying me you ask? That is the essence of this article. Now I need to apply to the court and ask that the judge relieve me as counsel. Most times the judge will ask why and most times they are not sympathetic to the fact that we as attorneys aren't getting paid. Therefore, this can only be one factor in the decision to be relieved. Once communication with the client is broken and we can no longer work together, combined with the fact that I AM NOT GETTING PAID, will often lead me to ask for relief..... this is what I needed to do this week. And you know what...it was a tremendous help in reducing my stress level....Now I am free to concentrate on clients who appreciate me, and pay me.

ALTER EGO

Apprentice Man was running in the North Yorkshire Schools’ Athletics Championships yesterday. He must have been fast because he is now to represent the County at 100 metres in the Regional Tournament next week. It’s strange how people can be very different in their domestic and personal lives to how they appear to others. My own experience of Apprentice Man is that he is invariably slow, especially when it comes to getting out of bed or dashing for the school bus.

Sometimes after a particularly acrimonious divorce clients are tempted to divulge all and try to tell the world at large about their spouse’s “dark side.” I’m not sure that it’s the best of tactics and it frequently reflects on the avenger rather than the avenged. Hence I went shopping yesterday afternoon, in preference to standing in the middle of the stadium yelling “tortoise.”

Dating After Divorce: The Best Online Sites For Dating...

I was recently contacted by a blogger who was willing to share a terrifc article about dating after divorce. I pulled out the top online sites for dating out of her article to share with you here. Click here to read full article,"Dating After Divorce: 50 Tips to Get Back into the Groove" By Alisa Miller
"One of the most popular ways to stay in touch with friends is through social networking sites. With many sites, not only can you keep up with friends you see every day, but you can also follow those who live further away. Some social networking sites also serve as dating sites, too. If you aren’t already familiar with social networking, after a divorce is a great time to discover it–you might be surprised to find so many of your friends already there. Check out some of these sites below".

Facebook. Find your friends on Facebook, then share photos, play games like Scrabulous, and keep up with what’s happening in their lives. Facebook allows you to adjust privacy controls so that you can choose who sees your profile information.
MySpace. Like Facebook, MySpace allows you to connect with friends and stay current with their lives. MySpace offers music on the profiles and you can personalize your page to your liking.
Twitter. If you just want to keep your friends updated and know what they are up to, Twitter allows you to type in a short update that goes out to your friends. If you like getting messages on your phone, have the updates go directly there.
Pownce. Share messages, files, links, and events with your friends on Pownce. Its aesthetically pleasing design earned itself a place in 10 Most Beautiful Social Networks.
Meetup.com. Choose an interest such as knitting, politics, or speaking French and find a group in your area. Meetups usually happen on a specified day of each month.
Classmates.com. Use this site to find old friends from high school, college, the military, and workplaces. You can also connect with people through specific interest groups. This service is free, but to have full access, you will have to buy a subscription.
Reunion.com. Reunion provides the opportunity to reconnect with old friends, family, and lost loves. With a free membership, you can create a profile and search for friends. With a paid subscription, you get other benefits such as finding out who was searching for you and sending messages to other members.
Flickr. Upload your photos and share them with friends and family on this site. Search for people you know or join a special interest group such as people who appreciate black and white photography.
Flixster. This is the social networking site for movie lovers. You can find your friends and share your favorite movies with them. Also, keep updated on the news from the movie world and meet other movie fans.
Last.fm. For music fans, check out Last.fm. Upload music and videos, discover new music, and share your favorites with your friends. You can also find new friends with similar taste in music.
Shelfari. Book lovers will love this site. Create a virtual book shelf of what you’ve read, are currently reading, or want to read and share with your friends. Connect with new friends in groups and share your book shelf on your blog or other social networking sites.
Online Dating
If you were married for more than a handful of years, dating is much different than it was when you were doing it before. Online dating is the most popular way to get out there and find a partner. The following list offers some of the most popular online dating services.
Yahoo! Personals. Completely free, this online dating service offers a wide range of categories from which you can search. Due to not having a cost associated with it and the popularity of Yahoo!, you are sure to find lots of potential here.
Match.com. One of the top online dating services, Match.com provides a huge member database. You can browse for free, but you will need a membership to contact any potential matches.
Friendfinder. This site is ideal for those who are starting to date again and just want to get their feet wet. Friendfinder is great for anyone hoping to find fun, friend, and maybe even love. There’s no pressure to hit it off romantically, so you can just enjoy the new people you meet.
eHarmony. This dating service offers a unique approach to online dating. Instead of browsing for dates or waiting for someone to come to you, they rely on a complex personality matching formula and provide you with potential matches.
Perfectmatch.com. Using a compatibility system, this dating site emails you when a good match for you becomes available. Perfectmatch.com has been receiving lots of rave reviews recently.
SinglesNet. This free service offers most of the same services available in the for-pay dating services. Gaining in popularity, the database is over 5 million strong.
Lavalife. Choose to look for dates, relationships, or intimate encounters on this site. You can create three different profiles for each of the three different categories offered or select only one or two of them. This service is totally free and has a huge member base.
Great Expectations. Combining online dating services and in-person matchmaking, this service meets every member in person and creates a match for potential dates. They also offer invitations to Great Expectations events where you can meet members face-to-face. This service is available in about 50 cities in the U.S.
Matchmaker. Answer questions about major issues to create your matchability with this site. The service is free, but you will need to pay if you want to contact a member.
American Singles. This site matches singles of any age and background. Touting itself as a dating site for everyone, you can choose a specific type of dating environment such as older or divorced couples.
SeniorFriendFinder. This site advertises to 50 somethings. It has over 2 million singles in their system, and anyone can join for free.

Yahoo! Personals. Completely free, this online dating service offers a wide range of categories from which you can search. Due to not having a cost associated with it and the popularity of Yahoo!, you are sure to find lots of potential here.
Match.com. One of the top online dating services, Match.com provides a huge member database. You can browse for free, but you will need a membership to contact any potential matches.
Friendfinder. This site is ideal for those who are starting to date again and just want to get their feet wet. Friendfinder is great for anyone hoping to find fun, friend, and maybe even love. There’s no pressure to hit it off romantically, so you can just enjoy the new people you meet.
eHarmony. This dating service offers a unique approach to online dating. Instead of browsing for dates or waiting for someone to come to you, they rely on a complex personality matching formula and provide you with potential matches.
Perfectmatch.com. Using a compatibility system, this dating site emails you when a good match for you becomes available. Perfectmatch.com has been receiving lots of rave reviews recently.
SinglesNet. This free service offers most of the same services available in the for-pay dating services. Gaining in popularity, the database is over 5 million strong.
Lavalife. Choose to look for dates, relationships, or intimate encounters on this site. You can create three different profiles for each of the three different categories offered or select only one or two of them. This service is totally free and has a huge member base.
Great Expectations. Combining online dating services and in-person matchmaking, this service meets every member in person and creates a match for potential dates. They also offer invitations to Great Expectations events where you can meet members face-to-face. This service is available in about 50 cities in the U.S.
Matchmaker. Answer questions about major issues to create your matchability with this site. The service is free, but you will need to pay if you want to contact a member.
American Singles. This site matches singles of any age and background. Touting itself as a dating site for everyone, you can choose a specific type of dating environment such as older or divorced couples.
SeniorFriendFinder. This site advertises to 50 somethings. It has over 2 million singles in their system, and anyone can join for free.

WILL IT RAIN OR WILL IT NOT?

Constance has been on the phone again. At the beginning of the week, she walked home from work chatting to the latest man in her life, in a steamy temperature of 26 degrees. It seems they were getting along really well, and she was convinced he must like a woman prepared for all eventualities, hence the umbrella and coat she was carrying. Yesterday the atmosphere was cooler, both within the relationship and outside. Today it had dropped by more than 10 degrees and she found herself wrong-footed both in her choice of clothing (skimpy top and cotton skirt) and boyfriend’s mood. Any wonder we can’t get our relationships right when we can’t even cope with the climate?

new family law task force

In an effort to improve the illinois divorce proccess there has been a resolution to create a task force to study the process.

Family-Law Study
House Resolution 1101 Illinois Family-Law Task Force. House Resolution 1101 (Madigan, D-Chicago; Fritchey, D-Chicago) creates a legislative task force to study and recommend changes in the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act. The House has passed this resolution; no further action is required for this resolution to take effect. Hearings all over the state are anticipated. Passed by both chambers.

caselaw update

Civil - 2-1401 Motions/ Dissolution Of Marriage / Attorney’s Fees 1st Dist.
Engel v. Loyfman, No. 1-07-1468 (June 6, 2008) 6th div. (Mcbride) Reversed and remanded.
Because trial court misconstrued the concept of subject matter jurisdiction when it allowed former client’s motion to vacate agreed judgment for attorney’s fees because complaint was filed within 90 days of order allowing attorney to withdraw, its order must be reversed and remanded. Although motion sufficiently demonstrates basis for vacating order, on remand, court must consider whether attorney’s affidavits provide a sufficient response to client’s motion; and conduct evidentiary hearing if it does

Linda Hogan "Rocks The Cradle" With 19 Year Old Boyfriend...

The Hogans are at it again. It seems like you cannot watch the news without hearing about the son's legal troubles or their impending divorce. Now comes news that Linda Hogan is dating a 19 year old. This man or should I say boy? is a friend of both her kids.

After my own divorce, I got asked out by a 21 year old. At the time, I was 36 years old. I declined his offer, but took it as a compliment and found it rather amusing. Dating a man so much younger does not appeal to me for several reasons. One reason is I could be old enough to be his mother. Another would be not having much in common and still another would just imagining what his poor mother would think. I have two daughters and two sons and if my son came home at 19 years old with a woman in her mid forties, I would not be happy.

Linda Hogan may be just having some fun, letting off steam and trying to recover from all of the stress in her life. Her affair with this 19 year old is most likely just a fling. With so many men dating younger women it seems wrong to criticize Linda Hogan for dating a younger man so much younger than her. Tom Cruise is significantly older than Katie Holmes, yet I have not read anything negative about their age difference nor as it been an issue in the press. However, all we ever hear about the Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher marriage is how much older she is than him.

I think that although we may not agree with Linda Hogan's choice in men, we should give her some slack on the issue. Going though a difficult divorce can cause you to exercise poor judgement and she may just come to her senses when her life calms down and her personal issues are resolved.

Discover the three things you must know before getting a divorce.....

Illinois Order of Protection

Followup from my last post:
Recent bill:

Domestic violence orders
House Bill 5121 (Rose, R-Mahomet; Righter, R-Mattoon) requires clerks to send an order of protection to a health-care provider if the petitioner asks them to do so. If a health-care provider receives a copy of an order of protection, they are prohibited from allowing the respondent access to the records of a child who is a protected person under the order. This bill has been passed by both chambers.

EURO 2008

I thought that this summer I might be spared the soccer spectacular which is Euro 2008. With no British team qualifying surely it could hold little or no interest to either Apprentice or Outdoor Man. It seems I was wrong and loyalties have been quickly switched after the allocation of teams from a sweepstake.

It’s funny how regular events bring back memories. In the case of the Euro Soccer competition, it seems to have accorded with Apprentice Man’s swift growth from infant to semi-adult. Indeed I can still remember his excitement at the age of 5 when we let him stay up until the late, late hour of 8pm to watch England play. Eight years ago, we had only just moved into our present home and my memories of the boys gathered around the television set are mingled with the smell of fresh paint.

Major events like sporting competitions or family celebrations such as birthdays and at Christmas, are great for setting memories into a time frame. It’s a technique that I often suggest to clients if I need them to prepare a statement, for instance for the drafting of a divorce petition where a chronological sequence of behaviour is often required. Invariably if the client does not keep a diary (and how many Samuel Pepys are there left these days?) the ability to recall the detail sought and then put a date to it is hindered. By trying to work out if it was before or after a specific event that can be date checked, we can begin to piece together something accurate.

Illinois Order of Protection

Many divorce cases begin with one party obtaining an order of protection.

It is important to determine what remedies to look for the person filing for the order of protection.

Order-of-protection remedies available under the Illinois Domestic Violence Act (IDVA).
750 ILCS 60/101

One purpose of the statute is to "[s]upport the efforts of victims of domestic violence to avoid further abuse by promptly entering and diligently enforcing court orders which prohibit abuse and, when necessary, reduce the abuser's access to the victim and address any related issues of child custody and economic support."

The 19 remedies can give the plaintiff a significant advantage in a divorce proceeding, especially in child custody.

General remedies
Prohibiting abuse, neglect, harassment, and exploitation.
"Abuse" is vaguely defined under the IDVA as "physical abuse, harassment, intimidation of a dependent..."

"Harassment" means knowing conduct which is not necessary to accomplish a purpose that is reasonable under the circumstances; would cause a reasonable person emotional distress; and does cause emotional distress to the petitioner. Unless the presumption is rebutted by a preponderance of the evidence, the following types of conduct shall be presumed to cause emotional distress:
(i) creating a disturbance at petitioner's place of employment or school;
(ii) repeatedly telephoning petitioner's place of employment, home or residence;
(iii) repeatedly following petitioner about in a public place or places;
(iv) repeatedly keeping petitioner under surveillance by remaining present outside his or her home, school, place of employment, vehicle or other place occupied by petitioner or by peering in petitioner's windows;
(v) improperly concealing a minor child from petitioner, repeatedly threatening to improperly remove a minor child of petitioner's from the jurisdiction or from the physical care of petitioner, repeatedly threatening to conceal a minor child from petitioner, or making a single such threat following an actual or attempted improper removal or concealment, unless respondent was fleeing an incident or pattern of domestic violence; or
(vi) threatening physical force, confinement or restraint on one or more occasions.

"Neglect" is also prohibited by the IDVA.
Exclusive possession of residence. The court has power to evict one party from the home, regardless of whose name is on the title or whether it is "marital property."

The court shall balance (i) the hardships to respondent and any minor child or dependent adult in respondent's care resulting from entry of this remedy with (ii) the hardships to petitioner and any minor child or dependent adult in petitioner's care resulting from continued exposure to the risk of abuse....The balance of hardships is presumed to favor possession by petitioner unless the presumption is rebutted by a preponderance of the evidence.

Stay-away orders. If the court grants the order of protection, it can require the defendant to stay away from plaintiff or any other person protected by the order. Unlike exclusive possession, the stay-away remedy provides for no balancing of hardships. Order-of-protection forms typically let the plaintiff specify how many feet away the defendant must stay. There is no set amount of space that must be given under current statutes or case law. Innocent encounters in public locations are not a violation.

Counseling.
Personal property.
Damages from abuse. The IDVA allows plaintiffs to seek damages for actual losses suffered as a result of defendant's abuse, including lost earnings, medical expenses, etc.

Entry while intoxicated, under the influence. The IDVA can prohibit the defendant from entering or staying in the home "while the respondent is under the influence of alcohol or drugs and constitutes a threat to the safety and well-being of the petitioner and petitioner's children."

Firearm possession. The IDVA requires the defendant to turn over weapons and guns to the police to hold "if the court is satisfied that there is any danger of illegal use of firearms."

Payment of shelter services. The defendant could be ordered to pay for the costs of a shelter that provided temporary housing to the abused.

Injunctive relief. The "order of injunctive relief" section is the catch-all "other appropriate relief" section of the statute.

Animals. Pursuant to Public Act 095-0234 signed by Governor Blagojevich on August 17, 2007, effective January 1, 2008, pets are also included as part of the remedies available in orders of protection as follows:

Protection of animals.Grant the petitioner the exclusive care, custody or control of any animal owned, possessed, leased, kept, or held by either the petitioner or the respondent or a minor child residing in the residence or household of either the petitioner or the respondent and order the respondent to stay away from the animal and forbid the respondent from taking, transferring, encumbering, concealing, harming, or otherwise disposing of the animal.

Child-related remedies
Physical care and possession, temporary legal custody of minor child.
In an emergency order of protection, where there is no notice to the defendant, the court can only grant possession of the children, not custody.

Denying, restricting visitation. Under the IDVA, the court may deny or restrict visitation if the court finds that visitation presents an additional opportunity for the defendant to abuse the petitioner or other protected persons.

Child support. The IDVA allows the remedy of child support.
Removal or concealment of a minor child. This IDVA remedy is also automatic upon the service of a summons and petition or praecipe filed under the IMDMA under the dissolution action stay.

Ordering defendant to appear in court. The defendant could be ordered to appear in court either alone or with the minor child who has been wrongfully concealed from the plaintiff.

Prohibiting access to child's records. If the order of protection prohibits defendant from having contact with the minor child, school or other records of the child may also be kept from the defendant.

Order of protection hearings are usually expedited as much as possible.

When Your Ex Remarries....

I got an email the other day from my divorced cousin, who I haven't spoken to in a few months. She wrote that her ex-husband has remarried and is expecting a baby with his new wife this winter.

As I read her email, I cringed. I could only imagine how she felt. Sure she has been divorce for years, but it still has to sting a little to find out your ex has remarried and has a new baby on the way.

You don't hear divorced people speak of this very often. No one wants to admit that after a divorce, they actually care whether or not their ex has found someone new. But deep inside, it stirs up some latent emotions. You are reminded again of how your marriage failed, how the dreams you had together were dashed. It just isn't what you could of ever imagined way back when, when you said you vows and promised to stay together until death do you part. I bet it never crossed your mind that someday your husband would be walking down the aisle with another woman.

Of course, like my cousin, you will put on a brave face and may even tell people you are happy for your ex and his new wife. But anybody who has been through a divorce knows that although you have moved on and let go, it is normal to feel that twinge of sadness.

BURYING ONE'S HEAD IN THE SAND

It has been a glorious, balmy June weekend and regrettably I have spent the greater part of it indoors doing office work. I have various court hearings in the next two weeks and there is a mountain of paperwork and other preparations that have to be undertaken. I know that many of my clients will have been doing the same. Once a court application for financial relief is issued, there is a strict timetable to comply with for the production of various documents and fortunately, most of the time, everyone involved is able to comply.

Sometimes, however, we come across an ostrich. “This isn’t happening to me,” he or she says.

“I’m not ready; it’s unfair; I can’t be bothered; it wasn’t my fault,” he or she mumbles as they bury their head in the sand.

Unfortunately ostriches rarely believe that courts have teeth and that Judges are not afraid to bare them. Default in collating and producing documents or complying in other ways invariably ends up in a wasted costs order against the ostrich and can result in a short prison sentence for contempt too.

Although the victims of circumstance, it’s always hard to feel sorry for an ostrich. Reminiscent of picnics on the beach, sand must get in its eyes and mouth, but, nevertheless, it would be well advised to keep its neck stretched and alert once court proceedings are served on it.

How To Escape An Unhappy Marriage

Florida’s 1st Successful Divorce Showcase provides free passes to those in need....

Community Agencies encouraged to distribute passes to Showcase featured at South Florida Singles’ Lifestyle Expo in Boca Raton, June 8th Boca Raton, FL:

Because divorce affects adults and children in so many significant ways, Florida’s first Successful Divorce Showcase is reaching out to people in particular need for information, resources and advice. The Showcase, a first-time feature at the 14th Annual South Florida Singles’ Lifestyle Expo, will take place on Sunday, June 8th at the Embassy Suites Hotel in Boca Raton, FL from 3:00 on.

Christina Rowe and Rosalind Sedacca, CCT, co-hosts of the event, have contacted many community agencies in Palm Beach and Broward Counties to send them free passes to the Successful Divorce Showcase. Jennifer Mahoney, Special Events Coordinator for AVDA, Aid to Victims of Domestic Abuse, said she will distribute the free passes to any of the female residents who are interested in learning more about issues related to separation and divorce – legal, financial, career planning, parenting, self-esteem and more.

Jewish Family Services, Catholic Charities, Children’s Home Society, Legal Aid and other family-focused organizations were also sent free passes to the Expo/Showcase. Some of South Florida’s most experienced and respected divorce professionals – attorneys, mediators, coaches, therapists and others – will be providing educational seminars on topics of major importance to those facing, moving through or transitioning beyond divorce.

Women in distress of Broward County will be exhibiting and presenting a lecture at the Expo as well. Exhibitors at the Successful Divorce Showcase will include experts in mediation, psychotherapy, legal issues, financial advice, divorce coaching, parenting, relationships, dating, college planning and other related topics, offering valuable products and services.

The Showcase is a new feature of the South Florida Single’s Lifestyle Expo which has been bringing together manufacturers, distributors and representatives of products and services specifically related to single adults and their unique lifestyle for the past thirteen years. This year Show Coordinator Al Barry, president of Multi-Expo International, Inc., a Miami-based Convention Planning and Professional Management Group, says he expects more than one hundred companies and over eight hundred attendees.

Besides the exhibit tables, “what makes this event so special,” notes Barry, “is the Live Entertainment, Speed Dating Sessions, new Divorce Forum, Seminars and Florida’s largest Singles’ Dance Party with DJ Bobby Curbelo – all included with admission. It’s a great place for singles to meet other singles in a positive, healthy, safe and friendly atmosphere.” The Singles Expo, including the Successful Divorce Showcase, is open to the general public. Admission is $20.00 at the door or $15.00 in advance. Registration is required in advance or at the door. For more information about the Successful Divorce Showcase contact Al Barry at 305 448-7976 .

ROMEO ET JULIETTE

On Tuesday evening I went to the theatre in the company of other family lawyers to see a performance of the opera Romeo et Juliette in French. It was a compelling production, with a monochrome background and costumes broken only by the occasional orange orb and patch of green grass. The whole effect was funereal and the experience was one of being submersed in a completely different “art” experience.

The costumes were contemporary and the well-known storyline portrayed a childish and innocent love, moving from Juliette teasing her nanny to asking the first man to smile in her direction to marry her. Love at first sight. Of course as a group of cynical divorce lawyers, we could only anticipate the work that would flood in if everyone behaved in such an impulsive manner. Or would it? Not if, as in this story, it ended with a bottle of poison and a dagger to the stomach, thus ending the lives of both protagonists. It would take William Shakespeare to pen something better, or Mills & Boon!

Marital settlement agreements - retirement & disability benefits

Dissolution Of Marriage/ Marital Settlement Agreements / Pensions 3rd Dist.

In re Marriage of Schurtz, No. 3-07-0345 (May 28, 2007) Peoria County (Lytton) Affirmed.
Trial court did not err when it ordered 62 yr. old former husband to pay a portion of his disability pension over to his former wife based on provision of Marital Settlement Agreement allocating a portion of his retirement pension to her. Because former husband was entitled to retirement benefits but chose to receive disability benefits instead, the wife is entitled to what she would receive from his retirement benefits. Further, trial court did not abuse its discretion when it refused wife's petition for attorney's fees and interest on past due benefits; because husband had a good faith argument that she was not entitled to receive any portion of his disability.

No-fault divorce separation period

Clients also ask how long must they be separated before they can get divorced.
Normally, there is a two-year separation period, but if the spouses have lived separate and apart for a continuous period of not less than 6 months prior to the case, the 2 year time period can be waived if both parties agree in writing.
Thanks
Terry

Can I file for divorce if I don't know where my spouse is?

Can I file for divorce if I don't know where my spouse is?
Yes. You can file for divorce if you do not know where your spouse is.
You must show the court that you have exhausted all reasonable means to find your spouse. Your spouse must have been gone for over a year as well. Usually, a process server is involved. They will perform a skip trace to see if they can locate the spouse. If that comes up empty, the petitioner will have to send the notice of filing to the last known address and to the last known place of work. If that fails, then the court will have the notice published in the paper. If there is no response in the required amount of time (per local/state law) then the court will allow one party to obtain a default divorce without the other spouse.

Client Question - Do Both Parties in a Divorce Proceeding Need an Attorney?

A client recently asked me if both parties in a divorce need a lawyer or could it be done with one lawyer?

The answer I give is that I always recommend both parties get a lawyer. While a divorce case may seem easy at first, it can often turn ugly, parties can change their minds, or what was thought to be in agreement, turns out not to be so. When only one party has a lawyer, the paperwork prepared, although could be fair, it is usually drafted in the clients best interest. An attorney cannot represent both sides of a conflict, which poses a conflict of interest as well.

The court will have any party that wishes to go forward pro-se (without an attorney) sign and notarize an affidavit that it was recommended that they hire a lawyer, and that they are declining to do so.

Therefore, it would be in your best interest to always get a lawyer, divorce lawyers in cases that are uncontested often offer a flat fee.

Terry

Owe Child Support Arrears? Kiss your license goodbye-unless you pay!

Illinois Ups Child Support Collection by Targeting Licenses
The threat of losing their driver's licenses has prompted more than 3,000 Illinois parents to pay about $1.3 million in child support since the beginning of the year, officials said Tuesday. From the Springfield State Journal-Register.

Under this procedure, the Department of Healthcare and Family Services (DHFS) will mail a warning notice to any parent who owes a minimum of $2,500 in child support arrears and who has an Illinois driver's license. If that individual does not answer, then their name is sent to the Illinois Secretary of State, who will then in turn, suspend their drivers license in 60 days.