How To Deal With Your Ex's Bad Behavior

The ink may have dried on the divorce papers, but if you have children together, your ex-husband is still a part of your life, like it or not. You may be thinking that you got a divorce to get this person out of your life. But the reality is that although you now have separate homes, you still must be able to deal with each in a civilized manner for the sake of the kids.

This can be difficult sometimes. I know of a woman who has been divorced for over 2 years. Her ex comes over her house unannounced to see the kids, refuses to take the kids on his scheduled overnight visits and picks fights with her in front of the children.

If you are dealing with an ex-husband who is driving you crazy is there anything you can do?First,you need to set boundaries. If your ex is belittling you in front of the children, then you need to discuss this with him in private and explain that you will not tolerate this kind of behavior. If he refuses to cooperate, you should not have any contact with him when he comes to pick up the children for his visits. Why not use text messaging or emails to communicate instead of speaking to him on the phone or in person?

Show your ex that you mean business and will not accept his bad behavior. Remember , he may be treating you the same way he did during your marriage. He does not see you as the strong, independent women you have now become. You need to teach him how to treat you.

By standing up for yourself, you will be setting an example for your children. They will see their mother as someone who is confident and secure and does not allow others, including their father, to treat her badly. This will empower them and they will not tolerate bad behavior in their own future relationships.

Depression And Divorce

Divorce stirs up many negative emotions. Especially in the beginning of a divorce, when you are in a state of shock. Next is usually a period of anger and that is followed by sadness and loss. Acceptance comes much later, and for some people never comes at all.

Even if you were the one who initiated the divorce, you probably will feel down at times. If your spouse has asked for a divorce, your emotions can run the gamut from anger to depression. Especially if the reason for the break up was an affair or the divorce was completely unexpected.

Recently we heard of actor Owen Wilson's tragic suicide attempt. Although drug use and depression are rumored to be the cause, his recent breakup with actress Kate Hudson might also play a role.

How a person reacts to the end of a relationship or a marriage depends on the person's state of mind before the breakup and the circumstances surrounding it. Feelings of depression, listlessness, loss of appetite and just not wanting to face another day can become serious. It can be perfectly normal for someone experiencing a divorce to go through a temporary stage of mild depression. If it continues for more than a few months or if you have thoughts of suicide, you need to get professional help immediately.

Remember, divorce is a life altering event. Your life had been turned upside down and there are many conflicting feelings you will experience. Make sure to take the time to go through the stages of grief,just as you would do mourning the death of a loved one. You are in fact, mourning the death of you marriage, the death of your plans for the future and the life you once knew.

Although depression can be common during divorce, take care of your emotional and physical health and make sure to seek help when needed.

PARADISE

We all need time out now again. It helps us recover mentally and recharge those batteries inside us that run on adrenalin. I grew up perfecting the technique of day-dreaming; sometimes though I can bury myself in a good book or cd. All create a little bit of Paradise where, if only for a while, I can lose all those things that bug me. These days my favoured piece of Paradise is a spot in the majestic Langdale Valley in the Lake District where we stay in a wooden chalet with large glass windows from which I can spend hours just watching the beck trickle by and the varied species of bird at the feeder which hangs down from the nearest tree across our patio. Day begins with a brisk swim and then after a day on the hills getting punch drunk on the scenery, we return for a sauna and sustenance. It’s becoming an annual cleansing ritual; an opportunity to get close to nature and beauty; to rediscover myself and either to forget or alternatively come to terms with all those issues that I normally can’t get out of my head.

Some Reasons For Adultery

Why do people commit adultery? There are many reasons a man or woman might give for being unfaithful. The most common reason is he or she claims to be "unhappy" in his or her marriage. They think that by having an affair they can escape the drudgery of daily life and live out a secret fantasy with their lover.

The person who cheats feels jaded and disappointed in life. They no longer feels young and are desperate to recapture the carefree days of their youth. The responsibilities of caring for children, working and pleasing a spouse have become too much. They yearn to escape, to go back to a simpler time in life when they were free to do as they please.

Most of the people who cheat do not want to end their marriages. They want their families,the illusion of a happy home life and the excitement of a lover too. Usually when they are caught they are forced to make a decision. Either their spouse asks for a divorce or they leave their spouse and family for their lover.

Some common excuses for adultery are that their spouse has let him or herself go physically, they are no longer interested in sex or they nag all of the time. These excuses are used as justifications for betrayal. These people will grasp onto to anything to assuage the guilt they may feel over cheating .I actually spoke to man who was having an affair who said he "felt like he was drowning and his lover was his life raft".

Although a person may be in a miserable marriage and unhappy it does not give him or her the right to go out and bring another person into the marriage. Finding out your spouse is having an affair is one of the most devastating emotions you can experience. The betrayal cuts like a knife. Anyone who has went through it can tell you it takes years to heal from that kind betrayal.

If a someone is in an unhappy marriage, they can make a different choice. They can make the choice to tell their spouse they want a divorce. They can make the choice to seek marriage counseling. They can make choices that do not involve hurting other people. Men and women who are tempted to cheat need to take responsibility and become accountable for their unhappiness instead of blaming others. If leaving the marriage is the only option , they need to stand up and do what is right by telling their spouse they want a divorce, instead of taking the cowardly way out.

Express Jail time

Yesterday we drove to Sears to get an "Express" Battery change at the "Drive through." This of course turned out to be somewhat of a misnomer, we certainly were able to drive into the garage but the express part was a 2 hour wait for installation of the battery. But this is New York. I hear in California wait times are much different and according to the latest celebrity justice article(what a great name for a magazine by the way)Nicole Richie served less time in jail than it took us to get our "Express" battery at Sears.

According to the sheriff's statement, the current sheriff's policy is that non-violent female offenders sentenced to 30 days or less are required to be booked and released within 12 hours. Miss Richie according to the sheriff was "treated in the same manner as other inmates with a similar sentence," and her release was "based on her sentence and federal court guidelines."

I guess all of the clients my firm has ever represented were not considered non violent because all of them have served more than 82 minutes when given a 30 day sentence. Perhaps the Federal Guidelines the sheriff talks about in his statement only apply to celebrities in the California court system.
Does the sheriff like being seen as soft on celebrities? Since a lot of what he has done is really discretionary, is it the case that this man doesn't know how to use his discretion? Perhaps he likes the negative press he gets. To some people any press is good press.

You can be sure that 82 minutes is less time than it takes Nicole to get her hair done or to get a manicure and pedicure, so I guess with a little planning we could all fit some "express jail time" into our schedules.

Again one of my favorite quotes comes to mind..."All the animals are equal, but some are more equal than others...."

(ok readers, impress me do you know the author and book that quote was taken from???? )

Express Jail time

Yesterday we drove to Sears to get an "Express" Battery change at the "Drive through." This of course turned out to be somewhat of a misnomer, we certainly were able to drive into the garage but the express part was a 2 hour wait for installation of the battery. But this is New York. I hear in California wait times are much different and according to the latest celebrity justice article(what a great name for a magazine by the way)Nicole Richie served less time in jail than it took us to get our "Express" battery at Sears.

According to the sheriff's statement, the current sheriff's policy is that non-violent female offenders sentenced to 30 days or less are required to be booked and released within 12 hours. Miss Richie according to the sheriff was "treated in the same manner as other inmates with a similar sentence," and her release was "based on her sentence and federal court guidelines."

I guess all of the clients my firm has ever represented were not considered non violent because all of them have served more than 82 minutes when given a 30 day sentence. Perhaps the Federal Guidelines the sheriff talks about in his statement only apply to celebrities in the California court system.
Does the sheriff like being seen as soft on celebrities? Since a lot of what he has done is really discretionary, is it the case that this man doesn't know how to use his discretion? Perhaps he likes the negative press he gets. To some people any press is good press.

You can be sure that 82 minutes is less time than it takes Nicole to get her hair done or to get a manicure and pedicure, so I guess with a little planning we could all fit some "express jail time" into our schedules.

Again one of my favorite quotes comes to mind..."All the animals are equal, but some are more equal than others...."

(ok readers, impress me do you know the author and book that quote was taken from???? )

How To Introduce Your New Boyfriend To The Kids

One lesson you must learn is: Don’t introduce your children to your new boyfriend too quickly. If your new boyfriend has children you may be tempted to bring your children together, especially if finding sitters is a problem. The danger is that if you break up, both your kids and his might become confused. They will still want to be friends, not understanding that their parents no longer date. Imagine making a new friend and not being able to play with that friend because your parents do not get along. That can be devastating to a child.

Another potential problem is the attachment your children might develop to your boyfriend. If things don’t work out, then the kids are left with feelings of abandonment by an adult they’ve grown to trust and love. As you enter into other relationships, their confusion will be compounded. If they have a troubled relationship with their father and are now looking up to your boyfriend as a father figure, a break up can be emotionally scarring.

It might be best to wait a few months before your new boyfriend meets your kids. That way you can slowly introduce him into their lives. Keeping your boyfriend distant from your children may be tough, but you must think of their feelings. Kids want mom and dad together. They are often traumatized by the divorce and they will often embrace or repel newcomers too quickly. Take it slow; it will save a lot of heartbreak.

TENSE NERVOUS HEADACHE

On Thursday morning I was severely stressed and anxious, there was no mistaking the symptoms. My heart was pounding; I felt sick and tense; I kept breaking into a sweat; I couldn’t concentrate; I was taking quick short breaths and suffering from bouts of light headedness and a sense of impending doom.
It was apparent that Apprentice Man felt the same way. They were after all his GCSE results that we were waiting for.

Tension in our lives inevitably manifests itself with physical symptoms. We have to be careful that these in turn don’t cause longer term complications. Fortunately for me, the tension didn’t last long and there was no doom for Apprentice Man either- he passed them all with flying colours.

TO RUSSIA WITH LOVE

There are various ways to conduct ourselves when a marriage breaks down and whilst I did not recommend Stepford two weeks ago, I remain a firm believer in alternative remedies where appropriate. Another that I do not recommend however was highlighted in the media today and should be a dire warning for any man contemplating a move to Russia with his loved one.

In the case reported, the couple, who had divorced 3 years before, had been forced to continue to live together in a small flat resulting in increasing acrimony between them. Presumably in desperation, the former wife took matters into her own hands when her ex-husband gave her an easy opportunity to inflame the situation still further. So whilst he was naked on the sofa, drinking vodka and watching TV, she leaned over and set his penis alight! I have a hunch, although the report was silent on the point, that the vodka may have helped. Needless to say the husband is quoted as telling reporters that “It was monstrously painful, I was burning like a torch.”

Now before anyone reading this gets ideas, can I just stress that here in the UK whilst you can still end up in the unhappy situation of living in the same home after a divorce has been finalised, a court does reserve the power to decide the outcome of a home’s ownership and even in the case of a rented property which of the couple can continue living there. This will take a little time but pending a decision and in the event of abuse or violence (a description that would undoubtedly encompass this woman’s actions), the court can also make an injunctive order excluding the perpetrator from the home.

How To Get Temporary Spousal Support During Your Divorce

An important issue you must be aware of when beginning your divorce proceedings is that you may be entitled to temporary spousal and child support. All too often I hear from women who are not receiving any spousal or child support while waiting to reach a divorce settlement. This can be financially devastating. It can take months or even years to reach an agreement with your ex. Unfortunately many women are not aware that they can go to court and file a motion to receive temporary spousal and child support. It amazes me how many divorce lawyers do not file a motion for temporary support.

If you and your spouse cannot reach an agreement in your divorce you can get a date in court before a Family Court Judge. This is referred to as a Pendente Lite hearing. The Judge can decide on issues such as the award of temporary child custody and support, temporary spousal support, temporary use and possession of the home, and other divorce related issues.

Remember that the results are temporary but the decision can give you some much need financial support while waiting for your divorce to become final. If you cannot settle your divorce in a timely manner, you will at least have the temporary support order to hold you over and give you time to prepare for trial.

THE PERFECT ILLUSION

Recently I blogged about my friend Constance and her belief that she would find perfect love in only a particular looking man. I don’t think Constance is alone. An old school friend seems stuck in a time warp. He came to stay the other weekend. He and his wife divorced the best part of twenty years ago but he’s so obviously seeking a companion that resembles her, it’s unreal. Worse still, he seems to have forgotten that he’s aged in the meantime and the woman he’s seeking is someone who resembles his wife as she was and not as she presumably now is. Seems he has this vision of perfection and nothing can sway him from it. Unconsciously he’s projecting his idea of perfection onto anyone who looks like her. It’s like worshipping statues on pedestals or Roman idols. Talk of fixed head sets! Worse still when his various liaisons don’t live up to his expectations, he blames them not himself.

For any long-term relationship to work, you can’t have illusions, particularly not those to the effect that your partner is perfection personified. That’s why Outdoor Man and I get along so well; we totally disillusioned each other years ago!

WHEN OTHERS INTERFERE

When I left work today my way was barred. Darlington Town Centre seemed to have been taken over by the emergency services and my route along the high street to my car, calling at a particular shop en route, was blocked. I tried another way but again there was a police cordon. Craftily I slipped down a back alley hoping to re-emerge on the main street further up, but this time six burly policemen and a strip of red tape prevented me. Ultimately I gave up and taking a large detour made my way to my parking spot by a different route.

My intentions had been honest but others had intervened to prevent me pursuing what I considered to be my own business. Forcing my way through was not an option and I had no choice but to admit defeat and retreat. I felt frustrated and even angry that my routine and freedom to walk and visit where I might choose should be impeded in this way.

Later I discovered that there had been an underground fire in the pump room linked to the Town’s new water feature and for safety reasons the High Street had been evacuated.

Emotionally though I felt that I had been challenged and deprived of an opportunity to engage in a way I had wanted. The police and fire brigade clearly acted to prevent me and others being inadvertently harmed but from the point of view of my personal life and agenda it felt like a gross interference that I could only properly appreciate later.

Are You An Overwhelmed Single Mom?

Today was the first day of school here in Florida. As I searched stores looking for the school supplies my three younger kids require this year, I started to feel some resentment towards my ex-husband.

The fact is that I am responsible for all of their new school clothes, back packs, sneakers and supplies. I am the one who has to organize everything, sign all of their paperwork , and make sure their homework is done. I take them to after school activities, go food shopping and clean the house. Oh did I mention that I also have work and make money to support the kids too?

My ex on the other hand, only has to worry about going to work and paying his child support. He has no involvement in any of the daily responsibilities of child care. We have recently moved out of state, but even when we lived 15 minutes away from each other, he rarely took on any of the many responsibilities of parenthood.

Single moms across the country will get their kids ready for school this year and take on the role of both mother and father once again. To the fathers out there that take an active role in their children lives and help co-parent their children, I applaud you. To the single moms, just like me, who struggle each day to be the best mom they can be, tired and stressed from the huge weight of responsibility on their shoulders, you are heroes.

Instead of resentment towards my ex, I will choose today a different emotion. I am grateful to have my children and to be their mom. I get to be a daily witness in their every changing young lives. Although I may be tired, I wouldn't trade it for the world.

TACKY SOUVENIRS

Little Girl collects snow globes; Apprentice Man collects those plastic pens where some object (usually an image of a boat or sometimes a cable car or train) moves up and down. On holiday we spend hours in tacky souvenir shops trying to unearth them. It has, I admit, become easier in recent years to find snow globes, even in those hot areas of the world that have probably never suffered a frost since the last Ice Age. Surprisingly, plastic pens can be more elusive but there’s nothing more challenging than browsing the shelves of shop after shop till we track one down.

My friend Constance was recently divorced, well 2 years 3 months and 14 days ago to be precise (she never fails to update me when we meet). Since then she’s started to collect boyfriends. She doesn’t find those in tacky souvenir shops so far as I know, though she seems to look everywhere else. Her latest foray is Internet Dating and she spends hours browsing pictures of man after man. Now Constance is an exceptionally good looking lady and I keep expecting to be introduced to a consort by the name of Tall Dark and Handsome. But no, Constance has developed a philosophy on life that says all good looking men suffer from character defects like those of her ex. As a result the only ones she considers worth examining for kindness, maturity and all the other attributes she's seeking seem to be at least ten years older than she is, wrinkled and toothless. She’s also convinced that green eyes are a sign of trustworthiness. Hence Constance keeps pairing up with rejects from national gurneying competitions sporting pea-coloured orbs where their eye-sockets are meant to be. Regrettably none of them has proved to be at all genuine and, one way or another, she still keeps getting dumped.

Until such time as Constance learns that mutual affection has nothing whatsoever to do with a stereotype created by a closed mind, I suspect that her love life will continue to keep me entertained.

Click here for link to Sam Hasler’s Blog on Indiana Family Law

FORTUNE COOKIES

Outdoor Man took me for a meal in our favourite Chinese restaurant last night. At the end of the evening we were served, as always, Fortune Cookies. We eagerly snapped open the biscuits, then pushed them aside in our haste to devour instead the little words of wisdom they contained:
“What consumes your mind, controls your life.”
“If you’re happy, you’re successful.”

How To Behave Inside The Divorce Courtroom

How you behave in the courtroom during your divorce will have an impact on how your case is decided. Make sure to stay calm and in control at all times in the courtroom. Let your lawyer take the lead. Keep your mouth shut. Your attorney speaks for you here, and you should remain silent unless your attorney, or the judge, directs you to speak. When the judge speaks, pay attention. He is the one who decides things, so he is the most important person there. Don’t whisper in your attorney’s ear. If you do whisper, remember that sometimes the microphones at the table are very sensitive, and what you say may be recorded by the courtroom audiotape, and heard by the Court Reporter, even if nobody else hears you.

You may take notes while the judge is speaking, and if you need to you may show these to your attorney, but wait until the judge has finished speaking. This won’t be easy. At times you’ll feel ready to burst. At times you’ll feel angry, and there will be moments when you’ll want to cry. Someone may say something that begs for sarcastic reaction. Pretend you don’t hear. If your attorney is saying something that’s incorrect, or if you feel he or she needs clarification on a point, that’s what your notepad is for. Use it and use it directly.

To the judge you want to look sympathetic, yet intelligent, confident, and secure. Do not twirl your hair, play with your keys, or fix your makeup. Sit upright, and pay attention to every word that is being said. Your future is at stake. Do not look at your ex or his attorney. If your ex takes the stand, remain calm. This may be the most difficult thing for you. He may lie. He may twist every situation. At the very least he will have a view of the situation that is totally opposed to yours. That’s why you are here. Don’t lash out. Don’t lose your temper. Outbursts are not allowed in the courtroom. You must remain composed at all times. And above all, do not make funny faces or expressions of disbelief. Even if they are genuine, the judge may think you are play-acting, and won’t appreciate it. Your future, and that of your children, depends on how you control your behavior in the courtroom.

Five Friends Every Woman Should Have


This is a great piece I thought I would share with you all....who are your five??
By Michelle Burford
"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves," writer Edna Buchanan once said. I consider the "family" I've gathered—with five kinds of pals I count on for completely different things—among the wisest choices I've made. If you can find even one who embodies any of the characteristics that follow, you can consider yourself fortunate.

1. The Uplifter
This woman's favorite word: yes. You could tell her you're trading your six-figure income for a career in offtrack betting, and she'd barely pause before yelping "Go for it!" Don't you need someone who looks past the love handles to notice the extraordinarily gorgeous you?

2. The Travel Buddy
When the hotel in St. Lucia is a bust, one characteristic becomes all-important: flexibility. This agreeable companion need not be the girl you traded pinkie swears with on the playground; it's enough that she's comfortable with quiet (between gabfests) and is a teensy bit mischievous (as in tequila after midnight).

3. The Truth Teller
Intent is what separates the constructive from the abusive. Once you've established that the hard news is spoken in love (not in jealousy or malice), you'd be smart to seek out this woman's perspective.

4. The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun
One Saturday a pal and I—and yes, we're both over age 12—pored over every glitter lip gloss in a drugstore aisle for an entire 45 minutes. Forget the crisis download (for that, see the Uplifter); this partnership is about spontaneous good times.

5. The Unlikely Friend
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive," Anaïs Nin wrote. My friends—some twice my age, others half, some rich, others homeless, some black like me, others Korean, Mexican, Caucasian—have added richness to my life that only variety can bring.

Five Friends Every Woman Should Have


This is a great piece I thought I would share with you all....who are your five??
By Michelle Burford
"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves," writer Edna Buchanan once said. I consider the "family" I've gathered—with five kinds of pals I count on for completely different things—among the wisest choices I've made. If you can find even one who embodies any of the characteristics that follow, you can consider yourself fortunate.

1. The Uplifter
This woman's favorite word: yes. You could tell her you're trading your six-figure income for a career in offtrack betting, and she'd barely pause before yelping "Go for it!" Don't you need someone who looks past the love handles to notice the extraordinarily gorgeous you?

2. The Travel Buddy
When the hotel in St. Lucia is a bust, one characteristic becomes all-important: flexibility. This agreeable companion need not be the girl you traded pinkie swears with on the playground; it's enough that she's comfortable with quiet (between gabfests) and is a teensy bit mischievous (as in tequila after midnight).

3. The Truth Teller
Intent is what separates the constructive from the abusive. Once you've established that the hard news is spoken in love (not in jealousy or malice), you'd be smart to seek out this woman's perspective.

4. The Girl Who Just Wants to Have Fun
One Saturday a pal and I—and yes, we're both over age 12—pored over every glitter lip gloss in a drugstore aisle for an entire 45 minutes. Forget the crisis download (for that, see the Uplifter); this partnership is about spontaneous good times.

5. The Unlikely Friend
"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive," Anaïs Nin wrote. My friends—some twice my age, others half, some rich, others homeless, some black like me, others Korean, Mexican, Caucasian—have added richness to my life that only variety can bring.

TONGUE TWISTERS

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled pepper. Where’s the peck of pickled pepper Peter Piper picked?
Red lorry; yellow lorry.

Tongue twisters. They are difficult to get our mouths round and even if we do they hardly make any real point at all.
It’s the same with feelings. They can be difficult to express and even after hours of analysing them, they may still fail to make sense.

She sells sea shells on the sea shore; the shells she sells are sea shells I’m sure.

TRAVELS WITH CHARLEY

I’m a member of a Reading Group and this month we read “Travels with Charley in Search of America” by John Steinbeck. The group enjoyed the book immensely, whilst recognising that it has its defects and may not be everyone’s cup of tea.

Personally I discovered that Steinbeck may unwittingly have revealed the reason for discord in our relationships when he wrote: “A beard is the one thing a woman cannot do better than a man, or if she can her success is assured only in a circus.”

How To Let Go Of Anger Towards Your Ex

Have you been divorced for awhile and still can’t stand your ex-husband? If your husband has a new girlfriend or has remarried, you may feel like he does not deserve to be happy. I am sure you have met women who talk badly about their ex-husbands years after the divorce is final. They just can't seem to let ago and move on with their lives. It is normal to feel resentful and hurt seeing the man who was once your husband, the love of your life, with another woman. No matter who ended the relationship or the circumstances surrounding the divorce, it is only natural that your ex's relationship with stir up negative emotions. So what can you do to get rid of these negative feelings?

Letting go after divorce is a challenge. Seeing your ex-husband in a happy new relationship reinforces the fact that your marriage is over. Although you may be still grieving that loss, your ex has clearly moved on. That is painful. You haven't properly mourned the death of your marriage yet.

You need to go through the process of releasing your negative emotions towards him. Write him a letter and don’t hold back, tell him how much he has hurt you and turned your world upside down. Pull out all of the angry thoughts and feelings you have for him.

When you are done, go outside and burn the letter. This will signify releasing all of that negative pent up energy that has been stored inside of you for years. You will feel great relief. By finally letting go, you will discover a new, happier life, free from the anger and hate that is poisoning you now.

UXOR

Today, I asked Outdoor Man if he’d named his boat Uxor because he intended to spend more time with it than me.
“Of course not,” he protested and then tried to wriggle out of the situation by claiming that I should be flattered because essentially he’d called her after me.
“Why’s that,” I asked, “if it isn’t about all the time you’re planning to be with her?”

His explanation went as follows: “I can handle her only by knowing the ropes; she needs a mate and a strong arm to comfort and guide her; when she rolls she creaks just like you; she has a broad reach.” Then, just when I thought I had heard enough, “She needs paint to keep her looking pretty,” he added.

Outdoor Man is not a lawyer but he now knows that verbal abuse can give rise to grounds for divorce on the facts of unreasonable behaviour!

What About Made in America??

The rash of emails I have been receiving this week from a well meaning sibling has caused me to want to rant and rave at toy manufacturers like Mattel and Fisherprice and say "Why aren't you making these toys in America?????"

I think every parent should be sending protest letters to every major American Company demanding that they take some responsibility for the manufacturing of the items which they sell for our children. First the dog food then the tires and the seafood and toothpaste and now our children's toys. Why isn't American industry waking up to the fact that perhaps it is time to invest in ourselves?

As an employer I can tell you my opinion as to why this is not happening. American workers expect salaries which force big manufacturers to outsource the work to foreign countries who pay their workers much less than what is expected here in this country. This of course would require one of two things to happen: first the public would have to expect to pay more for the product and/or large corporations would have to make less of a profit.

I have had prospective employees walk into my office with literally no experience in the field of law with one woman telling me she was unsure if she could successfully type a letter, but demanding a salary of $40,000! I do not think that this is typical however across the country and would venture to bet that there are workers out there who would accept minimum wage pay if it were available in manufacturing plants in this country. These plants should perhaps take the place of the old ones which were forced to close down when we decided to increase our imports from nations that do not have anywhere near the safety requirements or standards that have long been established in this country.

As a parent, I am willing to pay more for items made in America knowing that my child is better protected and less likely to ingest something we found out long ago was harmful. We claim to be one of the wealthiest nations but sometimes in our quest to be frugal we forget that we should be more vigilant in demanding the same level of responsibility and accountability from others that we demand of ourselves.

I say give us the opportunity and we will buy American!

What About Made in America??

The rash of emails I have been receiving this week from a well meaning sibling has caused me to want to rant and rave at toy manufacturers like Mattel and Fisherprice and say "Why aren't you making these toys in America?????"

I think every parent should be sending protest letters to every major American Company demanding that they take some responsibility for the manufacturing of the items which they sell for our children. First the dog food then the tires and the seafood and toothpaste and now our children's toys. Why isn't American industry waking up to the fact that perhaps it is time to invest in ourselves?

As an employer I can tell you my opinion as to why this is not happening. American workers expect salaries which force big manufacturers to outsource the work to foreign countries who pay their workers much less than what is expected here in this country. This of course would require one of two things to happen: first the public would have to expect to pay more for the product and/or large corporations would have to make less of a profit.

I have had prospective employees walk into my office with literally no experience in the field of law with one woman telling me she was unsure if she could successfully type a letter, but demanding a salary of $40,000! I do not think that this is typical however across the country and would venture to bet that there are workers out there who would accept minimum wage pay if it were available in manufacturing plants in this country. These plants should perhaps take the place of the old ones which were forced to close down when we decided to increase our imports from nations that do not have anywhere near the safety requirements or standards that have long been established in this country.

As a parent, I am willing to pay more for items made in America knowing that my child is better protected and less likely to ingest something we found out long ago was harmful. We claim to be one of the wealthiest nations but sometimes in our quest to be frugal we forget that we should be more vigilant in demanding the same level of responsibility and accountability from others that we demand of ourselves.

I say give us the opportunity and we will buy American!

Feel Like Your Divorce Will Never End?

Although it may feel as though your divorce will never end and you will be caught in a vicious cycle of divorce lawyers and court dates, one day soon this divorce will be over and a new chapter of your life will begin. It may seem so far away for those of you just beginning your divorce or who are in the process of divorce. Some of you reading this are already divorced and dealing with the aftermath and the many questions that arise. So when your divorce truly “ends” will depend entirely on you. Your divorce is not over on the day that the judge signs your final divorce order. It ends when you have straightened out your financial affairs. It ends when you no longer look at your ex and are filled with rage and hate. It also will be over when you have learned to rely on yourself and find out that you actually enjoy your own company.

You are an independent, strong woman who has been through an emotionally draining, life-changing ordeal. But guess what? Your divorce has now made you a stronger person. Someone who can handle anything life throws her way.

You may be reading this and thinking that you do not feel very strong right now. Your divorce may have appeared to take the life out of you. But do not be fooled. Just when you think you cannot take anymore, you find your inner strength and you are amazed at what you can do.
Have faith and trust that this too shall pass and you will begin a new and exciting life, better than before.

THE FOOTBALL SEASON HAS KICKED OFF

For anyone who has failed to notice, the British footie season kicked off again yesterday. So it’s more shopping for the girls and hoarse voices for the men, resulting in a 1-1 draw and a quiet Saturday night for both. No wonder the soccer pages aren’t presently giving divorce lawyers much to get excited about. For action in the Sports Section, it’s Formula One I’m following. The ongoing heated relationship between Hamilton and Alonso and rumours of a potential end of season bust up, after purportedly unfair play at the pit stop, could be a divorce blogger’s dream. It’s alleged that the two can’t work together; that they don’t share the team’s values and that Alonso has been told he can go. Motor racing supporters of course want to see this settled on the track in a public spectacle of blood and gore; a striking contrast to the privacy of the Divorce Court.

Chasing After A Deadbeat Parent-Is It Worth It?


Have you been trying unsuccessfully to get a deadbeat parent to pay the child support he owes? If so, then you know that each court date and each decision in the process takes an emotional toll. This debilitation can often become a physical drain as well. The cost of chasing a deadbeat is paid in more than money. While you need to do all you can to get support for your children, you must also temper your efforts with an attitude of peace and acceptance.

If you have done all you can, exhausting every avenue, it may be time to let go. At such a point you must use that energy to accent the positives in your life. You may find that the time spent on pursuit is better spent on furthering yourself and your career. That’s not to say that you should ever let a deadbeat ex off the hook. But you can’t allow the battle to destroy you either.

I have learned all of this the hard way. Though my ex-husband now pays his child support, I have come to see that I will always have to be the chief breadwinner for my family. I realize now that ultimately the only person I can rely on is myself. With that in mind, I work on my career and focus on improving myself. That way I will always be able to provide the income that my kids need and deserve.

In any future fight I would not allow myself to fall victim to the emotional devastation I felt the first time. My energy now is devoted to positive thoughts and outcomes. I am a true believer in “what you think about, is what you get.” I choose to surround myself with positive people and things and have had great results from doing so. Money flows easier to those who have positive energy. Things go smoother, and you feel happier. Never let your ex-spouse’s actions affect your peace and happiness. It is just not worth it.

THE STEPFORD WIVES

I watched the 2004 film version of The Stepford Wives on television last night, starring Nicole Kidman, Bette Midler and Glenn Close. Unlike either the book or original film it was not intended to send shivers down the spine but was instead a rather poor comedy, and I recall that film critics voted it a miss at the time of its release. It does share one ingredient with the originals, however, and that is that there is clearly no home in Stepford for a divorce lawyer.

In the original film, men were mobilised by the fear of women abandoning the traditional home-making role for the workplace. In this version it is the high-flying career women who have been recaptured by their inferior lesser halves and turned into beautiful, obedient, robotic versions of themselves, happy to do the most mundane of tasks at the push of a remote control button. It is described as a world of “romance and beauty…tuxedo and chiffon” where men who are sick of the increasingly hectic lifestyle of their shoulder-padded spouses have found a different solution to divorce: the magic box, from which their wife emerges as a brainless blonde trained only to dispense money from her mouth like an ATM, bake cakes and parade in supermarket aisles. “The women are perfect sex-kitten bimbos; the men are drooling nerds.”

To be honest I would have dismissed the film as a waste of my time and given up watching, save for the fact that in fairness it did have some clever lines, which if I caught them correctly included:

Husband: “We are in the country now, so no more black.”
Wife: “ No more black? Are you insane?”
Husband: “ You heard me. Only high-powered, neurotic, castrating Manhattan career bitches wear black. Is that what you want to be?”
Wife: “Ever since I was a little girl.”

Husband: ”Did you make the sandwiches?”
Wife: “No, I was finishing the last chapter, did you?”
Husband: “Where are the kids”
Wife: “What kids?”
Neighbour: “Are you two okay”
Couple: “Yes, we’re just married”

My favourite: “The women are always busy and smiling; the men are always happy. It’s not normal”

There is a twist at the end, when it is revealed that the whole thing was actually created by a woman; a former brain surgeon who after finding her husband in the arms of another woman (and an ugly one at that) had killed them both and essentially created a robotic replacement and Stepford. She claimed in pride to have turned the clock back to a time before stress and overtime.

Some words of advice- if you’re suffering from stress and overtime in your marriage: patch it up; see a divorce solicitor, if you have to; don’t visit Stepford.

The Top Five Things Your Ex Does To Drive You Crazy

Is your ex driving you crazy? Here are five of the most common things ex-husband's do to push our buttons and aggravate us. Please feel free to add anymore you can think of in your comments!

1. He is late paying child support and alimony
2. Badmouths you in front of your children
3. Shows up at your home uninvited
4. Let's his new girlfriend babysit your kids on his weekends
5. Cancels his scheduled visitation with the kids because he "has something to do"

PEBBLES ON THE BEACH

“There are always plenty of other fish in the sea.” Do people still really say that in the sincere hope of cheering up a close friend or family member who’s been jilted?
Alternatively: “Don’t worry there are lots of pebbles on the beach.”

Well I made a good, though perhaps not so scientific, investigation when I was on holiday. As a result, I can verify that there were very few fish in the sea (it was after all the Mediterranean). As for the pebbles on the beach, yes there were plenty of those and in a variety of different colours and shapes. You know what though, essentially they were all identical; smooth, hard, and uninteresting; “chips off the same block”.

Divorce Court Etiquette


First of all, remember that appearances count. The judge probably doesn’t know you, so you will be making a first impression. Dress appropriately for court. That means dress with care and respect, as you would for a business lunch with a group of conservative professional people (such as clergymen or schoolteachers). No jeans, nothing sexy or provocative, and no garish makeup. Certainly hide any tattoos or piercing. Wear your hair in a simple, neat style. You want to look sensible and responsible.

The same should be true of how you act. Remember what your mother said, and mind your manners. You should do this in any public part of the courthouse. The only place where you might have an excuse to let go is if there is a private, sealed-off room where you meet with your attorney. Otherwise remain quiet and calm at all times while in the courthouse. Don’t allow clerks, officers, or anyone else there to witness arguments, shouting matches, or anything more than quiet civilities between you and your spouse. Remember that sometimes the judge’s clerk has a lot of influence on the final decision. Don’t think that because the judge is out of the room that nobody is watching you and it doesn’t matter anymore. It’s best to have no contact with the opposition at all. Contact is the job of your attorney.

HARRY POTTER AND THE LAST GOODBYE

Like thousands of other holidaymakers this year I took the latest edition of Harry Potter on holiday with me, knowing it was going to be the last holiday we would ever spend together. My relationship with Harry goes back to 1997 and whilst Apprentice Man claims to have long since outgrown stories of witchcraft and wizardry, his mother has not.

On the one hand, therefore, whilst I was excited by the prospect of the final instalment and a last opportunity to satiate myself with Muggles, Dementors and House Elves, I opened the book with a certain trepidation. Half a dozen pages in, I was engrossed, but then two dilemmas arose; firstly amidst all the rumours of characters being killed off would Harry actually survive to the end of the story and secondly did I want to read it quickly or would I prefer a lingering goodbye? Pedantically I noted that at 607 pages and an average reading speed of say 60 seconds per page the whole book was going to take me some 10 hours to complete. I therefore had a choice; I could limit the indulgence to say 45 minutes a day or jump in and get through it as quickly as possible.

The difficulty was that if Harry succumbed to Voldemort in the first half, then our time together and my enjoyment of the whole experience was going to be cut short very quickly, especially if I decided to do nothing else but sit on my sun-lounger and read from morning to night. Indeed an early exit for the hero could spoil the overall ambience of my long awaited summer holiday. I, therefore, succumbed to temptation and did what nobody should ever do with a good book, but I inevitably do; I read the last 5 pages.

If real life were the same and with the benefit of crystal ball gazing, how much different our lives might be. However and even then it wouldn’t solve all issues because I still had to determine whether or not to spend only the beginning of my vacation with Harry Potter or the whole of it. Crystal ball gazing might reveal the outcome but not necessarily the method of getting there.

Frankly I can’t see the point in long goodbyes; they only delay the inevitable. Ten years is a long time for any hero to keep you dangling with his tales of bravado and I decided that if it was all coming to an end then it might as well do so promptly. It took a day and a half to complete matters and that was it, for all time. Of course, there was a tinge of regret that there won’t be any more novels, and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I occasionally looked over my shoulder for a passing Horcrux or Death-Eater. Overall though, I got on with my holiday, indulged in some other pursuits for a few days and finally came back to my bed by the pool to read more books!

Dealing with Friends And Family During Divorce

In a divorce it is not just mom, dad, and the kids who are affected. Your parents, siblings, in-laws, uncles, aunts, and friends are all drawn into the conflict. As you begin the divorce process, your tendency will be to think only of your most immediate world: home, children, and property. This is the core that is changing, but that can blind you to the larger world outside. As the process drags on you will discover that your entire range of relationships has changed. Some of these changes are sudden and huge. Others are far subtler.

Whose friend is whose? Will you ever see your in-laws again? What are the fault lines of your children’s loyalties? Will any of their friendships be affected? Much of this turns on the divorce process itself. The nastier it gets, the more difficult these questions become. Can you remain friends with the couple that is still on good terms with your ex? When you’re around them do you have to watch every word you say?

As with all issues of divorce, this one is easier if the split is amicable. If you and your ex are on friendly terms, that feeling will usually extend to his relatives. But if things have been ugly, then relationships change radically. The bitterness in a divorce tends to bleed into far too many other parts of one’s life.

When you are one of the people who are divorcing, you suffer not only the loss of a spouse, but a whole set of people you cared about. These may be people you spoke to candidly, folks with whom you shared holidays and vacations. You may have even thought of them as people you would confide in about anything. Suddenly they are cast into an enemy camp, and you wish you’d never said a word to them.

The easy thing to say is: be strong. The most important thing to say is: go to the friends and family who have stuck with you. When people turn against you, go to those people who are true to you. Your real friends won’t ask you to spell out everything, or to prove anything. They will simply give you love and support, and that is exactly what you need most now.

ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER

I’ve finally settled on a pet name for the new motor (see entry for 12 July 2007). It’s Dom; short for Dominus. Well if Outdoor Man is calling his new boat Uxor, I had to repay the compliment somehow. Mind I haven’t quite gone to the length of having it etched across my transom, but maybe the next time I pass that friendly tattooist, who knows?

For next instalment click here

Talking of good turns, I have to express my public thanks for the reviews undertaken of this blog by Jacqui Gilliat at Bloody Relations and John Bolch at Family Lore, as well as to Delia Venables and the good folk at Wikivorce and Infolaw who have been kind enough to put links on their sites to it. My thanks to all!

GREAT WHITE SHARK SPOTTED NEAR NEWQUAY

Seems the tabloids were kept busy last week stirring up the gossip for old Cornwall.

Apparently, to Cornwall’s dismay, Great White has sneaked in and the paparazzi have secured some photographs. Some say they’re of a basking shark that turns up all the time and which Cornwall accepted as a visitor a long time ago. The media, of course, would have us believe that it’s Great White in disguise, but, in the event that they are of the wrong predator, then it doesn’t matter because he’ll be found in Cornwall’s backyard before long anyway.

Meanwhile Cornwall’s first lady, Newquay, denies everything and is understandably bruised by the allegations, as well as being concerned for her children on the beach and the effect such rumours are having on them. Come on, Cornwall and Newquay deserve a break; if the press doesn’t stop the pressure on them they’ll each be in need of a good divorce lawyer before the summer’s ended.

If you are unfamiliar with the story click here to read it at Times Online

How To Handle The "I Am So Sorry You Are Divorced" Comment

It can be awkward for a recently divorced woman when she tells

someone she has gotten a divorce. For some reason, most people say

"Oh, I am so sorry". I think people are uncomfortable and do not know

what is the right thing to say to a divorced person. Since divorce is usually

a negative life event, offering condolences seems appropriate.

But what if you have come to accept your divorce and are happier than ever

being a single woman? Here are some snappy and possibly truthful comebacks that you can use that will lighten things up and put everyone at ease:

1." Don't be sorry, I lost 240 lbs!"( or whatever your ex weighed).

2. "Thank you for your concern, but I now have my king size bed all to myself

and best of all there is no snoring man sleeping in it!

3. " Honestly, being divorced isn't so bad. I have both closets, all of the drawer space

and do not have to worry about the toilet seat being left up"

If you keep a sense of humor I am sure you can come up with your own answer to the

"I am so sorry you are divorced" comment that is so popular today.

HOLIDAYMAKER RETURNS

Back from the slow pace of Mediterranean life I have been plummeted into what feels like the inside of a food processor, with only a feeble overgrilled body and a malfunctioning brain stuck in holiday-mode to help me cope.

Needless to say, I’m suffering from a cold (an allergy to my return to the UK no doubt) and my To Do List, before I even peep in the office, includes: chauffeuring Apprentice and Outdoor Men to a marina 50 miles away; taking the guinea pig to have its claws trimmed; arranging for the boiler to be serviced; tidying the house so the cleaner can get in; washing all our holiday clothes; reading the mountain of junk mail that’s been pushed through the letterbox; unravelling my vegetable patch from beneath a mountain of weeds; restocking the fridge; telephoning everyone to catch up with everything, whilst returning all the messages left on the answerphone. As for after lunch…

If the aftermath of a holiday is so stressful, imagine what the fall-out from divorce or separation must feel like!

Whilst I’ve been away I see that the Law Commission has left it until peak holiday season to publish its report entitled “Cohabitation: The Financial Consequences of Relationship Breakdown”. Resolution has long been campaigning for the introduction of new laws which would apply to couples who have been living together for two years or more, unless there are children, when there should be no minimum period. As the Law Commission’s Report acknowledges, cohabitation outside of marriage has become increasingly prevalent in England & Wales over recent decades and is expected to become more prevalent in the future. Shame then that Parliament has failed for so long to pass legislation to alleviate the suffering caused when unmarried families break up and how many more decades will it take to act on the Commission’s recommendations?

Ready To Date Again After Divorce?

Dating after divorce raises many issues, including sex. What are the rules? If it’s been awhile since you were single, a lot has changed.

So what are the new rules? When should you sleep with someone? The third date? Fourth? Longer? Figuring this out is never easy. Will you feel lonely, and jump into bed with someone too quickly? Or will you close yourself off emotionally and physically, and make yourself unapproachable?

You need to trust your own instincts and intuition. When a relationship feels right and you are ready to take the next step, then do it, but do what you can to be sure.

Losers are plentiful on the dating scene. Many of these are predators looking for nothing but a good time. Don’t become the cliché-divorced woman, easy and hungry for sex. Some men look for that. Be careful to avoid these losers.

Here are six pointers for getting back in the dating game:

· Always meet in a public place for your first few dates.
· Drive yourself there; do not have your date pick you up at your home.
· Practice safe sex. Always use a condom.
· Do not go back to his home or a motel until you feel you know this man and can trust him.
· Screen him thoroughly. Be choosy. Do not settle for less than you deserve.
· Follow your gut and trust yourself. If something does not seem right about your date, listen to your inner voice.

You can still have a good time and enjoy dating if you follow these simple rules.

Have a Happy Period

Apparently no longer a taboo subject the female reproduction experience is all the rage these days with ads galore of happy women frolicking through fields of daisy's and the like having a wonderful time just being women.
This was forwarded to me, so I know it's made the email rounds.. some of you may have seen it already- but I think it's too funny not to post... besides- it accurately describes how I am feeling today...
To all of my female clients please enjoy - to all my male clients- BEWARE!

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my ‘time of the month’ is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing? As Branch Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period".

"Are you f…..g kidding me?" What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep... Always.

Best,

Name Witheld

Have a Happy Period

Apparently no longer a taboo subject the female reproduction experience is all the rage these days with ads galore of happy women frolicking through fields of daisy's and the like having a wonderful time just being women.
This was forwarded to me, so I know it's made the email rounds.. some of you may have seen it already- but I think it's too funny not to post... besides- it accurately describes how I am feeling today...
To all of my female clients please enjoy - to all my male clients- BEWARE!

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favourite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my ‘time of the month’ is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing? As Branch Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period".

"Are you f…..g kidding me?" What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep... Always.

Best,

Name Witheld