When Divorce Becomes War

Once upon a time you were busy planning all of the details of your wedding, enthralled with the concept of marriage, convinced that you would live happily ever after with your new mate. As you walked down the aisle, vowing to spend the rest of your life with this person, did it ever cross your mind that someday this very same person could become your worst enemy?Probably not. So what happened? How could the person you once loved and trusted with all of your heart turn on you and try to destroy you in a nasty divorce battle?

Of course, not all divorces end on a sour note, but why do some divorces end peacefully while others turn into long, painful expensive battles where couples viciously attack each other?
I don't' think most divorcing couples set out to destroy each other in the beginning. Many may have hopes of resolving their differences in a mature matter and fairly splitting assets, but add in a unscrupulous divorce attorney, well meaning friends and family who give bad advice and the anger and frustration that led you to want a divorce in the first place, and you have a recipe for divorce disaster.

The difference between couples who are able to settle their divorces amicably and those who fight to the bitter end, may come down to the use of a mediator. Couples who seek out a mediator early on in the divorce process are more likely to spend less money on attorney fees, less time In family court and be able to end their marriage on a friendlier note.

If you want to aviod a divorce war, before you seek out the best divorce attorney in town, consider talking to your spouse about hiring a mediator. In the end, the only winners in a divorce battle are the divorce lawyers, everyone else, including the children, lose.

THE FIFTEEN STREETS

Yesterday evening I went to see an adaptation of Catherine Cookson’s “The Fifteen Streets” at Darlington Civic Theatre. I confess that I have never read a Catherine Cookson novel, but Latimer Hinks was one of the joint sponsors of the production and I was happy to attend. With my roots very firmly in the North East I was confident that I would find some empathy with a storyline set in the docklands of Tyneside during the early part of last century. I was not disappointed; with family infighting, verbal and physical abuse, a fatal accident, romance outside of the class structure, the subjugation of women, miscarriage, hunger, poverty, and a teenage pregnancy, the tale appeared to have everything. Or did it? Of course, there was no divorce. For the inhabitants of the Fifteen Streets life was incredibly harsh and whilst they had most things to worry or gossip about, in the times of Catherine Cookson’s youth, divorce was not one of them. I hesitate to guess that if she was gaining material for her novels today, they would have a different inclination.

Hello Chappaqua NY

As a native Long Islander, I never heard of Chappaqua NY until the Clinton's made it their home about eight years ago. On my website I have a meter which tells me how many people read my blog and where they are located. It doesn't tell me who you are but looking at it allows me to fantasize as to whom may be reading my blog. Unlike other blogs of this type, my blog doesn't seem to attract the type of readers who like to comment, much to my disappointment. It would be great to get a dialog going and hear some opinions like my friend Blond Justice's blog. She can write about a rainy day and get at least six comments after she posts. I know I have written some controversial stuff on here occasionally but I do so in the hopes of starting some discussion. Most times I am disappointed.

Now seeing Chappaqua NY of course I fantasize about the former President surfing the web and happening across my blog. With a population of roughly 9,468 I guess it is certainly a possibility that the one person from Chappaqua to visit my site was one of its most famous residents.

Knowing that many of my clients,( and I found out my client's spouses) read my blog it would be nice to see a comment or two.

By the way, back to Blond Justice; an interesting comment from my paralegal the other day made me think...she said that now that she is single and out there dating again, she notices that whenever she is out with her blond friends that they always get a lot more attention. I must admit that being a blond I also feel that I receive a lot more attention now than I did when my hair was darker. Maybe therefore I need to add that little tidbit to my blog. After all, you don't know that I'm blond from reading this blog as you do with Blond Justice..and she gets much more attention than I do. So look for something new that I intend to add advising the reading public of my hair color. Apparently it makes a difference. By the way if it is you Mr. President out there reading my blog, please tell your wife I am very impressed with the way she is running her campaign and woman to woman she has done a lot to crash through that glass ceiling....and that is from a registered Conservative! One doesn't always have to agree politically to appreciate another woman's achievements!

Hello Chappaqua NY

As a native Long Islander, I never heard of Chappaqua NY until the Clinton's made it their home about eight years ago. On my website I have a meter which tells me how many people read my blog and where they are located. It doesn't tell me who you are but looking at it allows me to fantasize as to whom may be reading my blog. Unlike other blogs of this type, my blog doesn't seem to attract the type of readers who like to comment, much to my disappointment. It would be great to get a dialog going and hear some opinions like my friend Blond Justice's blog. She can write about a rainy day and get at least six comments after she posts. I know I have written some controversial stuff on here occasionally but I do so in the hopes of starting some discussion. Most times I am disappointed.

Now seeing Chappaqua NY of course I fantasize about the former President surfing the web and happening across my blog. With a population of roughly 9,468 I guess it is certainly a possibility that the one person from Chappaqua to visit my site was one of its most famous residents.

Knowing that many of my clients,( and I found out my client's spouses) read my blog it would be nice to see a comment or two.

By the way, back to Blond Justice; an interesting comment from my paralegal the other day made me think...she said that now that she is single and out there dating again, she notices that whenever she is out with her blond friends that they always get a lot more attention. I must admit that being a blond I also feel that I receive a lot more attention now than I did when my hair was darker. Maybe therefore I need to add that little tidbit to my blog. After all, you don't know that I'm blond from reading this blog as you do with Blond Justice..and she gets much more attention than I do. So look for something new that I intend to add advising the reading public of my hair color. Apparently it makes a difference. By the way if it is you Mr. President out there reading my blog, please tell your wife I am very impressed with the way she is running her campaign and woman to woman she has done a lot to crash through that glass ceiling....and that is from a registered Conservative! One doesn't always have to agree politically to appreciate another woman's achievements!

Deadbeat Parents Can Run But They Cannot Hide...

Deadbeat parents who are hiding in another country trying to avoid their support obligations are going to have a more difficult time dodging the law, thanks to representatives from 68 countries who finalized the text of a new convention .This act is intended to make it easier to catch deadbeat parents when they move to other countries.

Even though recovering international child support is currently regulated by a 1956 U.N. treaty, it is often nearly impossible to catch deadbeat parents who flee overseas.

European nations, the United States, Canada, Australia, Brazil and several Asian countries were among those who are participating in the new convention and signed the text. The act will be similar to international agreements on child custody and adoption.

This will give Country officials the power to exchange information about offenders, withhold wages, pension payments or tax refunds and revoke or deny driver licenses. Hopefully this new measure will act as a deterrent to parents hoping to avoid their child support obligations by moving to another country.

THE DEFLATING LILO

With the temperature barely rising above four degrees centigrade recently it's somewhat strange to find myself recalling summer days in the sun. Today memories of the hours spent splashing in the hotel pool came flooding back and particularly the fun we had trying to float on a lilo bed with a puncture. It didn’t matter how much air we breathed into it, it still went down and so did we.

Matrimonial cases can be the same. You can throw as much money as you want at trying to fight a hopeless cause but when your solicitor tells you that it’s time to settle you really have to listen. All solicitors have clients who tell them that they’d rather pay legal fees than their spouse, but the sad truth is they are going to end up paying both. It’s just like the lilo bed, you put air into it or throw money at the lawyers, but if you’re still going to sink at the end of the day, considering damage limitation first is usually a good idea.

ESPN's Colin Cowherd as South Park's Saddam Hussein?

I was just listening to Mike & Mike on ESPN Radio here on my computer and I had the unfortunate experience of hearing the intro to "The Herd". It does some gay intro for the show and then you hear this douchebag, Cowherd, make some sort of a "haaay" noise. It sounds dead on to the voice of Saddam Hussein in those classic South Park episodes and the movie. Especially when Saddam is trying to seduce Satan in the movie. Don't waste your brain cells listening to Cowherd's whole show, but at least try to catch the intro sometime.

CAN A LEOPARD CHANGE ITS SPOTS?

Whilst chatting to Constance the other night I finally got round to quizzing her about the real reason for her split and subsequent acrimonious divorce. It’s amazing how a couple of years down the line events have a much more rational explanation. It seems the bridegroom never allowed himself to be groomed by the bride. He never learnt to cook, share the housework, or give up his love of football and his Friday nights out with mates. At the same time Constance recognises that she herself altered, although she attributes this to the arrival of her children. Whatever, the ex could not come to terms with the changes, especially when she no longer delighted in acting as housemaid to him, never wanted to go to the cinema to see a film when they could just as easily watch TV nor spend her summer holidays stuck in a little tent when there was the prospect of a charter holiday in the sun.

I guess there’s a moral there somewhere, like: leopards don’t change their spots, unless they’re female!

Battling Divorced Parents And the Holidays

I recently had a conversation with a friend who confided to me that she and her boyfriend are planning on having Christmas dinner with her boyfriend's father and his new wife. However, they cannot tell her boyfriend's mother of their plans because she will fly off the handle and become enraged if her son spends the holiday with his father.

This woman has been divorced for over five years and still has not gotten over her divorce yet. Not only is she living in misery, she is putting her son in the middle, forcing him into an impossible situation of choosing between his parents on the holidays.

Unfortunately, many innocent children of divorce get caught up between battling parents, especially around the holidays and special occasions. Family gatherings, weddings and other family events can cause stress and anxiety for kids of all ages who dread having their parents in the same room.

No matter how angry and bitter one parent feels towards the other, they must find a way to put their own feelings aside. It is selfish to ruin a holiday or special occasion becuase you cannot stand your ex. Making your children feel guilty by making them choose between parents is wrong.

My friend joked that if she and her boyfriend get married they will have to have two weddings, one for his mother and one for the father. Let's hope that her future mother-in-law finally comes to terms with her divorce and starts to let go of the anger and resentment she feels towards her ex. By holding on to these negative emotions, she is hurting herself and her children.

THE JOY OF GIVING

Christmas has come to our town centres and for some the joy of giving can mean unbearable pressure and debt. Take my friend Constance for instance (click here for the blog entry when I first introduced you to her):

It seems she started Christmas shopping for her children a month or so ago now and keeps adding to the sum owed on her credit card debt almost daily, as her resistance to the demands placed on her by the ex’s relationship with their children steadily diminishes. Last night she told me that she’s just ordered the latest games console for her youngest (despite the fact that the child already possesses 2 earlier versions) because she knows the said child has been manipulating the ex to buy her mobile phone cum MP3 player cum 5 mega pixel camera and she can’t risk being outdone. Sadly I had to admit that she made me feel somewhat limited in imagination and generosity when I confessed to an intention to give Little Girl and Apprentice Man a book apiece and a box of toffees between them.

Later, Little Girl divulged her view that if (heaven forbid) Outdoor Man and I were to separate, then she might fare much better with her Christmas stocking than is usually the case. Hmmm, not that I really enjoy being manipulated, but maybe I’d better make it a box of toffees each this year.

MY THANKS

I’d like to make a very public thank you to the gentleman who delivered a beautiful cymbidium to the office for me today. It is a well established truth that at the end of a divorce settlement one party generally feels that they received less than they were worth by way of financial settlement, whilst the other believes that they were forced to be overly generous. Sadly the only point on which they both seem to be of the same mind is that their respective lawyers cost them both too much. Consequently and regardless of whether you act for husband or wife the divorce lawyer’s role can theoretically be a pretty thankless one. It is therefore always heartening when a client acknowledges that they are pleased with the legal services they receive. Once again, my gracious thanks.

How To Get A Quick Divorce And A Vacation At The Same Time

Did you ever wonder how some celebrities are able to get divorced much faster than the rest of us? You may think that maybe this is possible because of their money, fame or connections. But the truth is anyone can get a quick divorce and it is affordable too.

The secret is taking a trip to The Dominican Republic. According to Wendy Diaz and Associates International Law Firm "A quick divorce is available to foreigners or Dominican citizens residing abroad, when both spouses agree to file this divorce before Dominican Courts. This procedure is very simple and only requires the attendance of one of the spouses during the hearing which takes usually less than half an hour and you can leave Dominican Republic the same day in the afternoon. It takes ten to fifteen days to obtain your divorce decree, which is to be sent to your home or office by courier (DHL or FedEx)."

The price for this service is relatively inexpensive, only $1,550.00 plus the cost of travel. Of course, this type of quick divorce is only for couples who have agreed on a divorce settlement and are both willing to finalize the divorce outside of the U.S..

If you and your spouse have agreed to divorce amicably and there are no settlement issues, this might be a great way to sneak in a vacation on a tropical island and get divorced at the same time. What better way to end your marriage, then by sitting on the beach, basking in the sun under a palm tree and sipping a tropical drink?

THE DIVORCE PARTY

Anecdotal evidence gleaned from clients would suggest that divorce parties seem to becoming more commonplace and whilst it’s not entirely de rigeur to invite one’s solicitor to such an event, I confess to receiving the occasional invitation. In case you are tempted to organise one, I thought it might be useful to highlight 10 absolute do-nots :

1.Don’t invite the ex; he/she will spoil your night.

2.Don’t invite the ex in-laws; they’ll spoil it too and worse still tell the ex all about it afterwards.

3.Don’t play soppy love songs, least of all from the era you met; nothing brings on the tears more than a little alcohol and nostalgia. Take a look at my song list included in my profile instead.

4.Don’t let off fireworks without checking the latest regulations as to hours of use etc..

5.Don’t try cutting the cake alone, backwards or whatever; just cut the cake out of the do altogether.

6.Don’t break off the dancing for everyone to gather around for a burial of the wedding ring in the garden; someone always sneaks back to dig it up later.

7.Don’t decide to hold your party in Dublin, Prague or any other top stag/hen night city in Europe; all those gangs of guys and girls in pre-marital celebratory mood will spoil your own attempts at excess;

8.Don’t allow any speeches; public pillorying is regarded as bad form.

9.Don’t expect presents; what can guests bring for a divorcee who already has half of everything?

10.Don’t cry. This will be your divorce night not your or your daughter’s wedding day.

Another 3-0 weekend for my teams

The OSU-Michigan game was pretty ugly and boring, but we managed to get a big W out of it to wrap up sole possession of the Big 10 championship. It's a shame to see Lloyd Carr go--it has been nice these last few years to be able to count on a victory to close out the regular season. Michigan can be scary again if they bring in a solid guy who can recruit as good as or better than Tressel. It will now be interesting to see how many higher ranked teams than Ohio State lose now. If Missouri beats Kansas and UConn beats WVU this weekend, then LSU loses in the SEC championship game and Missouri gets beat in the Big 12 championship game, where does that leave the Buckeyes? I honestly hope that things do not play out in a way that OSU ends up in the top 2 of the BCS because I think it will be nice to get these players to the Rose Bowl and hopefully the majority of the underclassmen stick around for another year and take a shot at the national championship next year. If they can hold onto most of their key guys, they should be in good shape to make a run for it.

The Colts-Chiefs game was horrible to watch. I honestly nearly fell asleep on my couch several times during the game. I wasn't even hung over from the Buckeyes game the day before! AV needs to get himself healthy in time for the stretch run against our divisional opponents and the playoffs. He is such a likable guy and it's bullshit that the fans were booing him after those misses. My thought on the matter is if AV really is not 100% healthy, then Dungy should have just went for it on those 4th downs. It really was nice to see Dungy take a step in building up AV's confidence (and the other players confidence in him) by letting him kick the game winner. Although the only thing I can't figure out--why the hell does Dungy always call a timeout with too many seconds left on the clock? I mean, it's fourth down anyway, so it's not like you can fumble a snap, fall on it, and get another chance. Why take the chance of having someone run back a kickoff, especially when your coverage teams are so spotty? Anyway, we got the W and should be able to build up some more confidence this Thursday against the Falcons. Byron Leftwich thought he could get away from the Colts. At least Freeney isn't around to hurt him again. I'm just pissed that I may need to go to a bar to watch the game on Thurs night. The in-laws cable provider does not have NFL Network and it does not appear that they are getting a simulcast on their local NBC affiliate, like they are doing here in Indy. What a concept.

And the Cleveland freaking Browns. All I have to say is Fuck You Baltimore! It really was an entertaining game to watch though. There have been a lot of exciting Browns games this season, but this field goal deal is the topper so far. Josh Cribbs is sick--nuff said.

Did a hate crime occur in Bills-Patriots game?

Breaking News out of Orchard Park, NY:

Erie County, New York, district attorney Frank J. Clark is rumored to being pressured by New England Patriots owner Bob Kraft, seen here demonstrating the importance of a nose bidet to his grandchildren, to file formal hate crime charges against Bills OT Langston Walker . These "charges" stem from an encounter the 28-year old, 6 ft 8 in, 366 lbs Mr. Walker, had with New England Patriots CB Randall Gay (5 ft 11 in, 190 lbs) with approximately 12:51 left on the game clock in the first quarter of the game Sunday Nov 18, 2007. Witnesses claim that Mr. Gay was simply trying to perform typical duties associated with his job, and out of nowhere Mr. Walker attacked him. The NFL game officials charged Mr. Walker with an Unnecessary Roughness penalty, thus giving the Patriots an additional 14 yards tacked onto the interception return by Mr. Gay. Unnecessary Roughness is typically a 15 yard penalty, however, due to the close vicinity of the goal line, only 14 yards were allowed. It is because of this ONE yard that Mr. Kraft feels that the Buffalo Bills and Mr. Walker have not been punished severely enough for this deplorable act.

When asked for comment, Mr. Gay replied, "A hate crime? I don't get it. I guess that is something Commissioner Goodell could be looking into. Is this something to do with the secret video? If so, I have no comment. Oh, wait, I get it now. Another immature attempt to make a joke about my last name. Real funny. Very creative though--nice work."

Through his attorney, Mr. Walker responded to these rumors by saying, "I was confused and thought Gay was Tom Brady. I really want to knock the piss out of that guy." (as a side note, I think he was speaking Yoda, and meant "I was confused and thought Tom Brady was gay," as evidenced in this file photo, . There is no further evidence of Mr. Walker's ability to speak Yoda, although it seems fairly obvious that he can.

Bills coach Dick Jauron responded to questions about this, "Huh? That's one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard of. What will the Patriots try to do next? Sue us for defamation because we let them score so many points thus causing people to accuse the Patriots of running up the score? Give me a break. Next thing you know they will try to put a lien on Castle Greyskull . I have worked too damn hard over the years to get away from Snake Mountain. Nobody fucks with my castle now."

Latest update on this "story": All parties are denying any knowledge of this and we have determined that this information was all bogus. It seems as if someone just wanted to find a creative way to post an embarrassing picture of someone associated with the Patriots again. Online sources are so unreliable sometimes...

Steve Nash & Heidi Fleiss...twins?

Ever notice how the Phoenix Suns' Steve Nash could be the long lost twin brother of Heidi Fleiss? Very disturbing similarities...

Can't Blame This Woman For Wanting A Divorce...

An Egyptian woman has filed for divorce because her husband refuses to take a shower. In this strange but true story, the husband has supposedly not showered in eight weeks. He claims he has a rare skin condition that makes him allergic to water. However, his own doctor disputes this, agreeing that his patient has a skin condition but no known allergy to water .The couple was only married for a few months and apparently only knew each other for two weeks before they wed.

Some other unusual reasons for divorce, according to AlArabiya.net:

- An engineer in Port Said filed for divorce because her veterinarian husband insisted on keeping cats and dogs in the house.
- A civil servant divorced her husband because he had bad breath from eating too much garlic and because he did not wash his feet.
- An Egyptian housewife filed for khol’a after her husband refused to let her go to her father’s funeral.
- A sorcerer's wife filed for a divorce after he refused to give up his job.

EGG ON YOUR CHEEKS

There’s apparently no need for an organisation like Relate in Cyprus. Suffer from a relationship problem with your wife and you can call for a sorcerer instead. The only problem is that she might crack an egg into your underpants and charge you 5,000 Cypriot pounds for her efforts. News reports however confirm that the sorcerer is now on trial, but fail to indicate whether or not her efforts resulted in a reconciliation.

Click here for link to Reuters News Agency Report

My Christmas Wish List



Dear Santa:

Just one year I would like to celebrate the Holidays without a trial in sight. For the umpteenth year in a row, I am prepping not for one but for three major trials all set to go around and before the holidays. Sandwiching Thanksgiving between back to back trials is always fun, but to put one a mere ten days before Christmas is down right cruel. During this time Santa, I am unable to watch my weight because I have an insatiable urge to eat pasta constantly; I am unable to sleep because I dream of new questions to ask the litigants on the stand and I am unable to finish my Christmas shopping because for some reason the Sears online site has inexplicable problems and won't allow me to sign in.

Santa maybe this year, you could bring me a look alike double who can step in for me at all the double bookings my children have arranged for me this year. As class mom I haven't even thought of the Christmas party I will need to attend and plan for my daughter. I have four teacher conferences to attend this week provided the judge allows me the afternoon off to meet with them. Can I also ask for a chauffeur to cart my children around to all of their events so I no longer have to write my blog entries at two am when they are all asleep.

Oh yeah, and Santa, a personal chef would work for me also. One who could cook more than pasta so that I could actually watch my weight instead of trying constantly to whip up a fast meal for my family and juggle all these other things in the air.

Finally, as long as I am on a roll here...how about a year filled with healthy happy family time..nice memories and at some point if it isn't asking too much a good book and an ultimate pina colada.

My Christmas Wish List



Dear Santa:

Just one year I would like to celebrate the Holidays without a trial in sight. For the umpteenth year in a row, I am prepping not for one but for three major trials all set to go around and before the holidays. Sandwiching Thanksgiving between back to back trials is always fun, but to put one a mere ten days before Christmas is down right cruel. During this time Santa, I am unable to watch my weight because I have an insatiable urge to eat pasta constantly; I am unable to sleep because I dream of new questions to ask the litigants on the stand and I am unable to finish my Christmas shopping because for some reason the Sears online site has inexplicable problems and won't allow me to sign in.

Santa maybe this year, you could bring me a look alike double who can step in for me at all the double bookings my children have arranged for me this year. As class mom I haven't even thought of the Christmas party I will need to attend and plan for my daughter. I have four teacher conferences to attend this week provided the judge allows me the afternoon off to meet with them. Can I also ask for a chauffeur to cart my children around to all of their events so I no longer have to write my blog entries at two am when they are all asleep.

Oh yeah, and Santa, a personal chef would work for me also. One who could cook more than pasta so that I could actually watch my weight instead of trying constantly to whip up a fast meal for my family and juggle all these other things in the air.

Finally, as long as I am on a roll here...how about a year filled with healthy happy family time..nice memories and at some point if it isn't asking too much a good book and an ultimate pina colada.

Who Gets The Kids For The Holidays?

With the holiday season fast approaching, an issue most divorced couples

face is who gets the kids for the holidays. Many couples specify which parent gets the kids on a specific holiday in their divorce settlement.

Some parents may fail to include a written plan in their divorce agreement and this can lead to trouble. Working out a plan ahead of time is a good idea, it can prevent many arguments about where the children should spend Thanksgiving ,Christmas and other special days of the year. The children will benefit from knowing where they will spend the holidays and are less likely to feel torn between both parents.

If you and your ex have not figured out whose house the kids will be spending the holidays with and are in disagreement about this issue, try to compromise. You both must remember to put the children's needs and feelings first. Maybe you could consider letting your ex have them for Christmas Eve dinner while you get the kids on Christmas day. You could even split the day between both parents, with you celebrating Thanksgiving with the kids at lunch and your ex taking them for dinner.

Another thing to think about is what holiday is most important to you. For me, I would have my ex take the kids on Thanksgiving so I could have them on Christmas. I also offered him Christmas Eve dinner so that I could have them on Christmas day. Again, the key is compromise. Your children will be happier and your holidays less stressful.

THE GYM

I went to the gym yesterday evening on a visit that I would like to think had a market research perspective. You see over the course of the last couple of years I’ve noticed that gyms seem to have featured fairly high on the list of meeting places for unfaithful spouses. There being nothing of interest on the TV and loving the dynamics that give rise to my work, I thought I’d go along and see if I could view some real life soap operas taking place, maybe even leave my business cards strategically placed on a running machine or two.

Perhaps the Local Authority run sports centre wasn’t the best place to try out this initiative, for it was not to be. Never have I been surrounded by so many unattractively perspiring people. Yes there may have been muscles in abundance, but they weren’t being flexed, so far as I could see, at the opposite sex. You know what I reckon this gym thing is just a sham for some other point of rendezvous. Accordingly I did pick up a tip which I shall pass on here:

If he/she says they were at the gym and you suspect that this may not have been the case, just sniff their sports' vest. On my unfortunate experience, it has to be a dead giveaway.

Man Wants Divorce Because The "Other Man" Is A Dog

I realize I have written a few posts lately about divorce and dogs, but I just could not resist sharing this odd story. A Japanese man filed for divorce because he was jealous of his wife's dog.

Apparently they had a happy marriage before she brought home the pooch a year ago. The marriage went downhill when she starting giving the dog attention and allowing it to sleep in their bed.

The judge is this case threw it out of court and said "the couple should try to reach an agreement on the best way to treat the pet", according to chinadaily.com

Although this story may seem strange, many men have the same sort of feelings when a new baby is born. They feel neglected because their wives are busy caring for the newborn and feelings of jealousy arise. These pent up feelings of anger and resentment can lead to arguments and even divorce.

The solution? If you are having marital issues soon after a new baby or pet has joined your family, make sure that your husband is included in the baby's or puppy's care and try to give him some extra attention so that he feels loved and wanted.

THE MANOPAUSE

If your husband is over 45 and acquires a sports car, a motorbike, a chest medallion and/or a girlfriend, you may feel compelled to visit a solicitor to enquire about divorce. However on the basis that these symptoms can apparently be diagnosed as the Manopause, you might want to send him to see his doctor instead.

HINDU WEDDING

Photo originally uploaded by kennethg

It was reported today that an Indian farmer married a dog on Sunday in a full Hindu wedding ceremony, witnessed by neighbours and village elders. Apparently the farmer has been suffering from 15 years’ bad luck after killing two dogs who were trying to mate in one of his rice fields. This bad luck extended to the farmer becoming unable to walk and suffering the loss of hearing as well as of an ability to talk properly. His physical condition has had doctors baffled but someone more knowledgeable put his condition down to a curse inflicted by the dead dogs’ spirits.

Donned in a wedding sari the bride dog went through the ceremony, but once it was over and the hold on her leash loosened, she absconded. It appears however that she has since been safely returned to her husband, who is purportedly planning to find a human bride once the curse is lifted. Won’t he need to get a divorce first and will he be blessed with a dowry to meet the ensuing financial settlement?

Get A Divorce Online

You knew it had to happen eventually. We are able to shop online, find a date, book a trip and now we can even file for divorce! That is of course, if you live in Broward County Florida .

With a few clicks of a mouse and for an extra $20 online filing fee, in addition to the regular $364 fee, you can be on your way to being single once again. It does feel impersonal to get a divorce this way, though. I can just imagine a spouse sending an email informing their partner that they have just filed for divorce online. Reminds me of how Britney Spears supposedly text messaged K-Fed with the news she was divorcing him.

Although filing for divorce online may sound convenient, I would not recommend it for couples with children and any assets. You need to consult with a divorce lawyer in those cases. Representing yourself in your own divorce proceedings is never a good idea, so unless you have been married for a very short amount of time, have no children and no assets, I would not suggest taking advantage of filing for divorce online.

FORM FILLING

I hate form filling. I hate it even more when I can’t see the point of the information being requested nor the benefit of completing the form in the first place. Hence it was with a feeling of dread that I sat down on Saturday morning to tackle four visa applications, one for each of us, followed by a Contact Details Questionnaire and a Consent for Educational Visits (one of each for both Apprentice Man’s and Little Girl’s respective schools). Whilst so occupied I became increasingly more irritated; mentally accusing the senders of being over officious and small-minded. By 12 noon, I calculated that I had written out our address and telephone number twenty-eight times. Then, just to make a full weekend of it, on Sunday I collated all the information that my accountant has been pestering me to produce, so that he can prepare my Tax Return ready for submission in January.

You will appreciate, therefore, that when I awoke this morning it was with a smile on my face as the prospect of a day in the office seemed to offer the opportunity for some light relief in comparison. Legal documents with which I’m familiar and for which I understand the point can sometimes be a delight and on other occasions an intellectual challenge. Also I’m assisted by technology (no unnecessary duplication of input) and clients who supply the information required (sometimes neatly bundled and recorded, sometimes on copious documents stuffed into a carrier bag).

Of course, I never consider how small minded and officious clients might think me when I hand them, for instance, the standard twenty-four page questionnaire known as Form E which forms the backbone for resolving financial disputes. Instead I appreciate the relevance of the information requested and anticipate that the client will do likewise. I wonder if that’s how the clerks at the Embassy and Local Education Authority feel when they devise and distribute their forms. Surely not; if I had to ask clients to insert their names and addresses three to four times on every form I use at work, I’d have lost all my clients and been obliged to find myself another career by now.

Not a good weekend for my teams in the W/L column

Well, this was an all-around shitty weekend for my favorite teams. The Buckeyes lost to an up-and-coming Illinois team on Saturday afternoon, the Browns blew a nice lead and lost to the Steelers on Sunday afternoon, and then the Colts sucked up the field on Sunday night against the Chargers.

I'm OK with the Buckeyes loss. As long as they beat up Michigan this weekend and end up playing in the Rose Bowl, I am OK with it all. Illinois really had a strong game plan by Ron Zook and their guys executed it, especially Juice Williams. I had watched U of I play a few other games earlier this season and they showed flashes of a top 25 team, but they really put it together on Saturday for a complete game. No small feat in the Horseshoe.

I am about 75% OK with the Browns loss. Granted, the expectations were pretty low going into the Steelers game, but it just sucks to have the division leader on the ropes and be unable to knock them out in the 4th quarter. Plus, a Steelers loss would have helped give the Colts a bit more breathing room as they struggle to hold onto the #2 seed in the AFC. It's almost as if the Browns are playing well in spite of their coach at this point. Romeo Crennel is simply NOT a good head coach. Poor game management, use of timeouts, challenges, clock management, etc. In a way I am hoping for a late season collapse by the Browns just to increase the odds of Crennel losing his job at the end of the season. The first round draft pick is going to the Cowboys anyway, so who cares.

Ah, the Colts. All I can say is, the Chargers really suck. Actually, the players are really good--it's the head coach that sucks balls. I've never been impressed with Philip Rivers either, but they should still be able to win games with players like Tomlinson and Gates. Just get the ball in their hands. It would be great to get a few starters back on the field here in Indy though. If I have to see Aaron Moorehead's bulgy eyes on TV again I am going to puke. I can't believe the Colts keep him on their roster year after year. I was OK with Craphonso Thorpe's performance. Someone needs to tell Bryan Fletcher and Ben Utecht's asses to just run their routes, catch the ball, and either fall down or run out of bounds immediately. They both always look like they are going to fumble the ball as soon as a defender gets close. I am all for the mentality of "fighting for every yard", etc., but when you never get anywhere and all you get is a mob of defensive players trying to hold you up and rip the ball out, it starts to seem counterproductive. I swear to god if I see Fletcher try to stiff arm some dude again I may throw my frosty mug through the wall.

All in all, it was a shitty weekend of football watching in my house. The only thing I really enjoyed was finally watching the Knocked Up movie DVD. Great fuckin movie. I haven't gotten to the bonus features yet, but I have heard they are hilarious as well.

How To Protect Your Assets During A Divorce

Most people, when considering a divorce, fail to realize that they must take certain actions to protect their martial assets. Divorcing couples usually enter into a divorce hoping for the best and believing that their spouse will act fairly. Often this is not the case and you may find out too late that your soon to be ex has put your martial assets in jeopardy.

There are things you can do to minimize the risk. One of those things is to put a lien on any martial property you may own. This will prevent your ex from trying to refinance the home or even sell it. This is especially important if your name is not on the deed or mortgage.

Once a divorce is filed a judge will usually order that no martial assets be dissipated, meaning sold or disposed of. But even with this order, spouses have been known to violate it and sell cars, jewelery and other assets. I know of a woman whose husband emptied their daughter's college fund to pay his lawyers. Protect yourself and your assets. Think smart and consult with your divorce attorney about ways you can protect the martial assets during your divorce.

How A Divorce Can Affect Your dog

We all know divorce hurts kids, but can it hurt the pets too? According to David The Dogman, dogs and cats can suffer from the turmoil and emotional upset in the home that divorce and marital problems often bring.

David says "When couples shout and argue with each other this will indeed affect the dog (and also the cat). Our blacker moods and tantrums will have an adverse effect on our pet dog. Nervous behaviour is often caused by the owner's actions. Whenever I am called to a home where owners have a howling, barking, destructive, digging, house soiling, or one showing symptoms of an anxiety related behaviour, where it is apparent that the dog has an inability to cope with life, I always ask if there has been a death, separation or indeed a divorce that could have triggered the problems, as this behaviour is a typical expression of canine anxiety."

Since our pets are treated as members of our families and are sensitive to our feelings, it would make sense that any disruption in the family would affect them adversely. The best advice on how to help your pet deal with your divorce is probably the same for your children. Avoid fighting in front of them, try to maintain a normal routine for them as possible and most importantly, try to resolve your divorce peacefully. Everyone, including your dog will benefit.

Prince William - My Own Sweet Time

Prince William - My Own Sweet Time

Prince William to become Patron of the 2008 Lord Mayor's Appeal

Prince William to become Patron of the 2008 Lord Mayor's Appeal
7th November 2007
Prince William is to become the Patron of the 2008 Lord Mayor’s Appeal.

Every year the Lord Mayor of the City of London chooses one or more charities to benefit from his appeal. This year the appeal is in aid of ‘Wellbeing of Women’, the only UK charity dedicated to solving the health problems that solely affect women, and ‘ORBIS’, the international blindness prevention charity.

Funds raised from the Lord Mayor’s Appeal will enable Wellbeing of Women to establish an international data resource and to fund research leading to more families being able to have healthy babies.

For ORBIS, funds raised will be used for the Lord Mayor’s childhood blindness programme, which aims to dramatically reduce the number of children who are needlessly blind in Rajasthan, India. The Lord Mayor’s Appeal will support the development of two specialist children’s eye care centres in Jaipur and Udaipur where there are currently no trained paediatric ophthalmologists.

Prince William said: “I am so pleased to be the Patron of the 2008 Lord Mayor’s Appeal. Becoming involved in this way is particularly special for me because of the past association and commitment of my mother, Diana, Princess of Wales to both Wellbeing of Women and ORBIS.

“These charities do such an amazing job in helping to solve women’s health problems and saving sight worldwide. I look forward to lending my support to their remarkable efforts over the coming year.”

Alderman David Lewis, the Lord Mayor Elect of the City of London said: “It is wonderful that despite his heavy workload and commitment to the armed services, Prince William has agreed to be the Patron of my 2008 Lord Mayor’s Appeal.

“There are few people whose lives don’t depend on the progress and treatments that have been achieved in the area of women’s health; but there is a long way to go if we are to give every woman the chance of a healthy pregnancy free from complications. Wellbeing of Women will help more children to be born to achieve a healthy start in life.

“ORBIS supports children and families in desperate circumstances in the developing world. We want to help thousands of children in India to have the opportunity of good eyesight so that they can live as full and happy a life as possible.

“I very much appreciate the support of Prince William in helping us to invest in healthy lives, healthy vision and healthy futures.”

Prince William’s role as Patron of the Lord Mayor’s Appeal will last one year.

Notes to editors

Wellbeing of Women

Wellbeing of Women is the only UK charity dedicated to solving the health problems that affect women by funding medical research and training into all aspects of reproductive health.

Over the past 40 years Wellbeing of Women has invested in funding the very best in medical research and training. Every woman living in the UK since 1964 will have benefited from advances in healthcare made possible by research grants from Wellbeing of Women, such as ultrasound and cervical cancer screening.

Diana, Princess of Wales, became Patron of Wellbeing of Women (formerly Birthright) in 1984.

ORBIS

ORBIS’s vision is of a world where no one is needlessly blind and where everyone has access to quality eye care even in the poorest developing countries.

Working in partnership with local hospitals, ORBIS implements sustainable projects to strengthen their capacity and provide them with the skills, knowledge and equipment they need in order to provide services to their community in the long term. This will ensure that sight saving treatment is available to the people who need it most.

Does this make me a bad Buckeyes fan?

As a loyal fan, I rarely want one of my teams to lose a particular game. I am a bit torn regarding my beloved Ohio State Buckeyes playing against Illinois this weekend. I think it is in the best interest of the team and us fans. I love that Ohio State is ranked #1, tied for tops in the Big 10, etc., but I REALLY want to beat the team from up north the following weekend, but not have to face LSU in the title game in January. If we just barely lose to U of I this Saturday, and then destroy the team we play the following weekend, we would still win the Big 10 and should go to the Rose Bowl, thus avoiding another embarassment against an SEC team in the title game 2 years in a row. I guess LSU has looked vulnerable lately, so OSU may have a chance against them. If the Buckeyes win out, they will stay #1, and it will be interesting to see what happens if Oregon wins out and then LSU, Oklahoma, and Kansas all lose. Of course, everyone will complain about the Big 10 and Pac 10 not having a championship game like the other conferences do. I like the Buckeyes chances against Oregon more than LSU or Oklahoma. We could take Kansas, I think. Although I thoroughly enjoy watching Kansas football games for nothing more than the action shots of Coach Mangino on the sideline.

Boston journalists are worse than their fans

Boston area TV station, WBZ-TV, had this ridiculous report earlier this week about the crowd noise in the RCA Dome last Sunday. First of all, if every visiting team is complaining about this, why wouldn't the NFL put someone in the sound booth or wherever to keep an eye on the possibility of this occurring? And the "unidentified RCA Dome security guard" that this jackass is using as the "source" for this top secret information? As a journalistic entity, how can this TV station actually report this story as credible? I know some guys who work security at the RCA Dome and none of them are what anyone owuld consider "intelligent". Most of the guys I know never attended a 4-year college and work these events for extra beer money. This dumbass photojournalist is acting as if this security guard (who supposedly said this), has access to some top secret information. And say the Colts really were doing this, why the hell would he say this to someone with Boston area credentials? That makes a ton of sense, put the guy with the top secret information down by the photographers. How fucking annoying are these Boston area people? You won the goddamn game, you have a good team--just leave it at that, instead of making up bullshit stories and insult the fans in Indianapolis who yell, scream, and clap as loud as they can. And the "signs" at both ends of the stadium that say "Quiet. Offense at work.", are on the Jumbotron screens you fucking moron. Believe it or not, but some people in Indiana can actually read and follow directions if they think it will help their team win a game. I guess it never gets very quiet at Gillette Stadium when the Patriots are on offense because their fans never know when to just shut the fuck up. Now would be a good time. And the funniest thing about the Patriots not getting beat by the Colts? They will get beat by a team that will not even make the playoffs this year, like the Jets, Bills, Eagles, or Dolphins. Douchebags.

INDIANA LAW

As this blog entry is about to prove, I know nothing about divorce law in Indiana. Indeed I do not profess to do so. After all there wouldn't be much opportunity to use any knowledge I might have, working as I do in Darlington. That said, there are occasions when a dual qualification in Scottish law (another alien concept) would be extremely useful with the border not so far away. Mind the issues and emotions facing anyone going through divorce are universal, regardless of where in the world they are. Sam Hasler who has paid me the honour of mentioning this blog on various occasions in his own family law blog has indicated that whilst I don’t have much to say about Indiana family law there are still many similarities in the people we both seek to help and the problems they face.

Lately we are being entertained in the new pedestrian heart of Darlington by a variety of musicians. Among the most tuneful of these is a band of men of American Indian origin, dressed in authentic costume including head-dress & buffalo skins. Their act is dominated by musical pipes that replicate the sound of the wind and occasionally they can be seen sitting cross-legged smoking a peace-pipe.

I wonder if the peace-pipe still plays any part in the modern law of Indiana. It could surely be put to good use in the resolution of acrimonious divorce cases, or does Indiana, like the UK, ban smoking in public buildings? I know not, but maybe Sam will tell us in one of his blog entries.

Mediation Re-visted

It has been a while since I have blogged about mediation and thought with the Holiday season fast approaching a mediation blog would be in order. First I think it's important to clarify that law offices are covered by the canon of ethics and must adhere to these canons during all steps of the mediation process. In my office in order to have a mediation consultation BOTH parties must be present. I never want even an appearance of impropriety where one party says that I gave out advice to one party over the other. If in fact someone comes in for a regular divorce consultation and chooses later to come back as a mediation client, I will advise the spouse that a separate consultation had taken place and ask if they are still comfortable proceeding with the mediation consult. Also neither I nor any members of my staff will ever discuss any matters pending in my office(or even potentially pending) with a non party. This is a stead fast rule which is based in the canons of the legal ethics which I mentioned earlier.

That being said, let us examine why mediation is not a more popular forum for divorcing couples. First the parties must both want a divorce. In most cases, one party is resistant while the other party is ready to dissolve the marriage. When one party is not willing to move toward the dissolution mediation will not work. The other reason mediation is not as popular as it should be is that both parties must be willing to compromise. Many times couples will seek independent advice and not want to bend after being told what a court of competent jurisdiction will most likely rule. Of course the big part of this equation comes down to the question of money. How much are parties willing to pay to reach a divorce agreement and do they want to litigate for years or come off their positions and decide their own fates, as opposed to have a completely uninterested party decide for them while paying thousands and thousands of dollars.

Mediation is really the most humane and civil way for a couple to end their marriage. Combined with counselling it is the most cost effective way to dissolve the marital relationship. Unfortunately, it still remains unpopular in our jurisdiction. Perhaps for much the same reason that we still of one of a handful of jurisdictions left that does not have no fault divorce. Once society embraces the concept of divorce not as a failure but instead as a way for parties to move on with their lives, perhaps mediation will become the "divorce route" of choice.

Mediation Re-visted

It has been a while since I have blogged about mediation and thought with the Holiday season fast approaching a mediation blog would be in order. First I think it's important to clarify that law offices are covered by the canon of ethics and must adhere to these canons during all steps of the mediation process. In my office in order to have a mediation consultation BOTH parties must be present. I never want even an appearance of impropriety where one party says that I gave out advice to one party over the other. If in fact someone comes in for a regular divorce consultation and chooses later to come back as a mediation client, I will advise the spouse that a separate consultation had taken place and ask if they are still comfortable proceeding with the mediation consult. Also neither I nor any members of my staff will ever discuss any matters pending in my office(or even potentially pending) with a non party. This is a stead fast rule which is based in the canons of the legal ethics which I mentioned earlier.

That being said, let us examine why mediation is not a more popular forum for divorcing couples. First the parties must both want a divorce. In most cases, one party is resistant while the other party is ready to dissolve the marriage. When one party is not willing to move toward the dissolution mediation will not work. The other reason mediation is not as popular as it should be is that both parties must be willing to compromise. Many times couples will seek independent advice and not want to bend after being told what a court of competent jurisdiction will most likely rule. Of course the big part of this equation comes down to the question of money. How much are parties willing to pay to reach a divorce agreement and do they want to litigate for years or come off their positions and decide their own fates, as opposed to have a completely uninterested party decide for them while paying thousands and thousands of dollars.

Mediation is really the most humane and civil way for a couple to end their marriage. Combined with counselling it is the most cost effective way to dissolve the marital relationship. Unfortunately, it still remains unpopular in our jurisdiction. Perhaps for much the same reason that we still of one of a handful of jurisdictions left that does not have no fault divorce. Once society embraces the concept of divorce not as a failure but instead as a way for parties to move on with their lives, perhaps mediation will become the "divorce route" of choice.

How To Get Your Ex To Pay Your Divorce Legal Fees

Britney Spears was ordered to pay her ex-husband, Kevin Federline's legal fees stemming from their nasty divorce and custody battle. She has been ordered, by the court, to pay $120,000 of the $160,000 attorney fees racked up by her ex.

So how did K-Fed get the court to order Britney to foot the bill? Most of their recent court activity has been directly related to Ms.Spears bad behavior and concerns over the welfare of the children. Also, Britney was the primary breadwinner during their marriage and earns substantially more than her ex-husband.

If you are currently in a divorce battle and the attorney fees are adding up, here are some things you should consider:

Does your soon to be ex earn more money than you? Were you a stay at home mom during your marriage? If so, you should ask your attorney to file a motion asking the court to order your ex to pay your legal fees.

Are your legal fees adding up because your ex is not paying child or spousal support? Again, this is a valid reason to ask for attorney fees to be paid by your ex. After all the reason you are in court is because of his violations and disregard for the court system. You should not have to pay your lawyer thousands of dollars to enforce a support order.

Finally, keep in mind that your own attorney may not volunteer the fact that she or he can file a motion and ask for legal fees to be paid by your ex. Some attorneys rather have you pay their fees for fear that your ex may stiff them on the bill. It is up to you to approach this subject with your lawyer and specifically ask them to ask the court to order your ex to pay your attorney fees incurred during the divorce.

Randy Moss halftime tirade sparks Patriots

An associate of mine works private security at the RCA Dome during Colts games. He is always assigned to the visitors locker room area. Usually his stories are fairly uneventful in regard to the visiting players and coaches. However, he said that as the Patriots players were entering their locker room at halftime, Randy Moss yelled and swung his helmet at the wall and left a huge hole in it's place in the drywall. I wonder if the RCA Dome can send the drywaller's bill to Bob Kraft to pay for. Apparently the rest of the Patriots were pretty pissed off at halftime as well, and they simply wanted to get back on the field and start the second half ASAP. Some of the players were even complaining about the Purdue marching band still being on the field and over by their sideline area. Well, whatever happened at halftime, something worked. Of course after the game all of the Patriots players in the locker room were acting as if they had just won the Super Bowl; all that was missing was the champagne. It's just hilarious to see these players and their coach act as if it is no big deal to the media.

The World's First Divorce Fair

The world's first divorce fair was held in Vienna, Austria recently. Instead of ferris wheels, cotton candy and carnival games, there were divorce lawyers,mediators, detectives to help catch a cheating spouse, and even a laboratory to conduct DNA tests! Also on hand were hairdressers offering extension hair pieces and makeovers to divorcing women.

Vienna's divorce rate is currently a whooping 66%, but the actual number of of divorcing couples who attended were low. I think this is most likely due to the impersonal nature of a "divorce fair". I would think that a person going through a traumatic event such as divorce would not want a circus type atmosphere when ending their marriage. It would be an overwhelming experience to visit a fair where divorce professionals are trying to sell you their products and services. You are better off sticking to recommendations and referrals when hiring divorce professionals.

HAW HAW

This month the Reading Group tackled a biography: “Haw Haw, the Tragedy of William and Margaret Joyce.” To be honest I’m no fan of biographies; they’re generally fairly tedious and whilst they allow some scope for speculation, the imagination and atmosphere that dominate any fictional work (and even some autobiographies) is inevitably missing. Moreover, reading the life story of the great and famous is one thing, reading that of the infamous is another.

Nonetheless, I did note with interest that Lord Haw Haw (already a divorcee when they married in 1937) and Margaret divorced each other after four and a half years, only to remarry some six months later. It is not of course unheard of for divorcees to re-unite, but it is more common to rue one’s mistake at the altar than subsequently for seeking a Decree Absolute.

Who knows if Mr and Mrs Joyce’s second marriage would have survived the cessation of hostilities, had they not been captured and a trial for treason intervened. Certainly their arguments, drinking sessions and extra marital relationships continued. I have been practising long enough to have divorced a number of clients twice, and whilst rarely has this been from the same spouse, it does happen and usually for the same reasons as the first time around.

Colts fans too loud for Patriots pussy ears

I was just listening to the Tony Bruno Show and he had someone on there saying the CBS people at the RCA Dome yesterday were having camera & sound troubles due to all of the noise when the Colts were on defense. I'm OK with CBS having some difficulties. Then, he went on to say that the Patriots filed a complaint with the NFL to investigate if the RCA Dome was pumping in "fake" noise. Seriously? Fake noise? I was at the game yesterday in the upper deck near the press box area and it was soooo loud whenever the Patriots got the ball that my body was vibrating between plays. I was also at the Pittsburgh game a year or so ago when some jackass writer from Pittsburgh publicly made the claim of "fake" noise because he thought it was just too loud to be real. That guy was just pissed off because the Colts kicked the Steelers asses that night. This latest thing about New England is just as ridiculous. This claim by the Patriots is a slap in the face of all the Colts fans who are hoarse today because they were screaming their lungs out and whose hands are sore because they were clapping as loud as they could on every third down. The Patriots should just be happy they got out of here with a victory and shut the hell up. Besides, I don't recall their offensive line getting called for a false start all day, so the noise obviously wasn't that big of a deal. I remember other opponents games in the RCA Dome where there were several false starts on the O-Line because of the excessive noise of the fans. I will say that the loudest the Dome got yesterday was when Joseph Addai busted that long TD at the end of the first half. I could actually feel the concrete under my feet vibrating like a minor earthquake and I could see ripples in my beer cup that reminded me of the scene from Jurassic Park in the Jeep. That was definitely the loudest moment of the game. There were very few Patriots fans in the Dome yesterday either, and they all seemed to be spaced out--except one small section. Of all the games I have been to in recent years, this one had the least amount of obvious non-Colts fans. What can I say, Colts fans are just loud SOB's!

EVA

Last night we went to a charity event in aid of Eva. Not Eva Longoria Parker, the star from Desperate Housewives, nor even, as the name might suggest, an individual lady, but rather an organisation of that name which is actually an acronym for Emerging from Violence and Abuse. It’s based in Redcar and has been helping women who have suffered from domestic violence for over 20 years. A worthwhile cause and I only wish that every desperate housewife in every town could have her own Eva.

How To Get Through A Messy Divorce

With endless court dates, attorney fees mounting and no settlement in sight, it is easy to become emotionally distraught and overwhelmed during a divorce. Staying calm and focused is not always easy.

But staying in control while going through a difficult divorce is exactly what you need to do to succeed. So how can you get yourself back on track emotionally while going through one of the most agonizing times in your life? Here are three ways to take back control:

1. Spend some time visualizing the outcome you desire. See yourself signing the final divorce agreement. Visualize in detail, how you feel when your divorce papers are signed. Imagine the relief you will feel and the weight that will be lifted off your shoulders once your divorce is over.

2. When you are at your lowest and feel like giving up, take some time out. You need a break from your divorce and need to find something that will distract you and help you focus on something positive instead. Get a massage, have lunch with a friend, but whatever you do, the rule is no discussing your divorce on this day. This is your break, even if it is only for a few hours.

3. When you are alone and feelings of grief, anger and depression wash over you, allow yourself to release them. Cry, punch a pillow, or write a letter to your soon to be ex letting him know just how much he has hurt you. Be sure to take that letter and burn it. Do not send it! This is an exercise for you to get rid of pent up anger and resentment.

Eventually your divorce will be over and you will be free to begin a new and fulfilling life. That day will be here sooner than you think, so hang in there and gather your strength and resources. Someday soon this will all be a distant, painful memory.