TRAGEDY OF ROMANCE

I’ve received an e-mail from the theatre. “The snow must go on,” it said. And on and on and on. Yes it’s now Day 11 and I’m heartily sick. The last production Little Girl and I saw at the theatre was “Romeo and Juliet” by the RSC. Little Girl rather thought that went on too but I suspect she has inherited from Outdoor Man some non-dramatic genes and a dislike of seating, fixed in narrow rows.

A classic love story ruined by warring families. “Never was a story of more woe / Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.” It certainly puts the work I do into perspective but it is only fiction, whilst relationship problems resulting in divorce are reality.

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING AT THE DIVORCE SALOON

Have you started your Christmas shopping yet or are you like me and do you put it off to the last minute? Are you divorced or do you know somebody who is? If so, The Divorce Saloon Store, open 24/7, might have all the gifts you are looking for. Check it out now at :
http://www.divorcesaloon.com/store/

FOOTBALL HOPES BLATTERED

So ladies, he’s going to be off to Russia in 2018. Prepare now if you don’t want to become a football marriage casualty. What better way to spend your winter evenings for the next seven years than poring over holiday brochures and guidebooks as you plan your ideal holiday taking in St Petersburg, Moscow and if it appeals even Siberia. Don’t let him go alone. Take up Cossack dancing, a love of red, fur hats, vodka (in moderation) and borscht. Insist on being a WAG.

I’m not so sure what to suggest for Qatar in 2022. I did once change planes at the airport there and it was very clean with air conditioning and wonderful views (of a desert).

MERRY EX-MAS

I received an e-mail this morning promoting an album by The Irreconcilables entitled “Merry Ex-Mas- Holiday Songs for the Divorced and Soon To Be”. It includes songs, such as “Frosty, My Ex-Wife,” as featured on You Tube, with such notable lines as “Frosty my ex-wife was the coldest thing I know.” It’s clearly written by songwriters who share my view that divorce is painful but can be easier to bear if you can bring yourself to smile.

IT'S SNOW COVER FOR INFIDELITY

All this snow reminds me of the alleged story of the woman who put her husband’s pyjamas in the freezer, because he had been unfaithful to her. I have no idea whether or not it is a true story but certainly icy conditions and heavy snow seem to lend themselves to matrimonial mischief. Certainly I recall a client once upon a time confessing that the great thing about winter wasn’t just the handsome postman who delivered the Christmas post but also the fact that the snow immediately covered all her visitors’ footprints, so her husband never knew how many people she sipped coffee with during the course of his working day. Unfortunately for her the snow was so heavy that, on one occasion, her husband was unable to get to his office and so returned home unexpectedly. Footprints or no footprints, he still found one of her visitors in shall we say a compromising position with his wife, and divorce proceedings ensued.

ALL RISE

Mr Justice Coleridge made a speech this morning to the Association of Lawyers for Children. In it he expressed his concern that there is a creeping tendency towards disrespect for court orders in family proceedings especially in so far as they relate to contact with children. As we might expect from Mr Justice Coleridge he wasn’t shy in putting forward innovative solutions to this disturbing trend. Whilst Judges re-donning their robes might sound like a backwards step and removing carpets and houseplants from courtrooms would suggest he hasn’t visited my local County Court, his “three breaches and the child transfers place of residence” could have a certain resonance. He also criticised the extent to which the wishes and feelings of the children themselves are taken into account reminding the audience that the court, not the child, must make the decision.

“Times demand more open discussion and debate,” he insisted.

I do believe that the learned Judge has a point. So,if a suggestion box is called for and we’re aiming for a nostalgia trip, let’s start it off here and now:

1. On the basis that Parenting Information Sessions are being increasingly embraced, let’s add to them with defaulting parents being asked to do detention and copy out “lines” from their last session.


2. If the excuse used for a lack of contact relates to the child suffering from a cough, cold or other minor ailment, three spoonfuls of cod liver oil sounds like an appropriate remedy; for the parent that is and not for the child who will of course have made a miraculous recovery, once the due hour for collection has passed.


3. If men in suits, or even Judges’ robes aren’t deemed frightening enough, let’s add open court hearings with a baying public gallery, horsehair wigs and even gavels for sound effects.


4. Oh and what about throwing away the cushioned seats and bringing back all those hard wooden benches that used to adorn our courts? Especially useful if we return to waiting 3 or 4 hours for a case to be called.


5. Scope for deportation to one of our former foreign colonies on the other side of the world? Maybe not, after all the line will have to be drawn somewhere.
   

WHICH COUNTRY?

• In which country do at least 1 in 4 women experience domestic abuse in their lifetime?


• In which country do almost 1 in 5 women experience sexual assault in their lifetime?


• In which country do 1 in 5 women experience being stalked in their lifetime?


• In which country have some 66,000 women had their genitals mutilated?

Sadly the answer is the UK, according to data collected.

Today was prescribed as International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. Theresa May, the Home Secretary, took the opportunity to confirm that £28 million for frontline support services will be protected for 4 years as she confirmed a cross-government commitment to end violence against women and girls. The Government also announced that Domestic Violence Protection Orders will be introduced next year when police forces in Greater Manchester, West Mercia and Wiltshire will pilot powers to protect victims after an attack where there is potentially insufficient evidence to prosecute. They will be able to exclude an alleged perpetrator from the home for 48 hours (sufficient time to allow the victim to obtain an injunction if necessary) with scope to go to court for an extension of up to 28 days.

Small steps perhaps, but they are in the right direction.