Psychics the Flintstones and the Economy

As a divorce attorney I sometimes though not always equate myself with a fortune teller. Once a potential client comes to speak with me I can pretty much determine whether or not they will be back to see me or another attorney and begin divorce proceedings. No, I don't have any statistical data on this but usually based on the types of questions asked of me I know if this is a chronic issue that will not be resolved or merely a "bitch" session as if I'm a free therapist allowing the individual to vent and complain about their spouse for 15 minutes or so.

We all would like to know things about our future and I am no exception. My Achilles heel is the Psychic world. No not the cheap fortune tellers on the boardwalk at Atlantic City, or the ladies who advertise out of their rented store fronts. I am not that proud to admit I spend ridiculous amounts of money when I choose to hear from the dead and seek out the masters of their field. Last week I treated my mother to a galley session with the very well known John Edward. Not to be confused with the politician John Edwards, with whom my confused son thought I was going to see but couldn't fathom why.

John Edward is a Long Island born and raised Psychic with amazing abilities,as one can ascertain from watching his television show and the ticket price he commands shows he his stature and demand. Looking for a present for my mother is getting increasingly more difficult now that she and my father can no longer travel, so when I saw that Edward was local and the date was on my deceased grandmother's birthday, I thought I was receiving a sign that we should attend this Galley reading.

The tickets and the website make it quite clear that even though you are paying an outrageous amount of money that no one is guaranteed a reading. Thinking however, that all the stars were in alignment and being the eternal optimist I am, I was sure that John would be calling up my deceased family to talk with me. I should have known however, upon our arrival that it would be a disappointing evening in that although we weren't' late the only seats available were in the last row. As a veteran watcher of the show however, I knew that if John was going to read me he would find me in the bathroom if my relatives were persistent enough.

Watching Edward go from family to family, all around us to no avail I started to become somewhat despondent. My friend who also joined us in this adventure attempted to raise my spirits by indicating that perhaps my dead relatives had nothing to say to me! Then when all I thought we would never get a reading John asked a group of people in front what the Flintstones reference meant to them. Seeing my golden opportunity I started to raise my hand and jump from the back row knowing John was looking for me. "What are you doing??" my mother gasped as she pulled my hand down. "Flintstones...that's us!! I almost yelled." "What are you saying?" asked my very concerned friend. "Barbera" I said, "The Flinstones were a Hanna-Barbera Production." I always say that when people mispronounce our name, as if I have two first names: Barbra. "No", claimed my friend, "listen he is all the way up there not back here...and he is asking for a Bam Bam or Pebbles."

Lost opportunity I still say, for I am sure that the reference was a meek relative throwing a curve ball out there. No we weren't read that night but my psychic abilities tell me we were supposed to be, just as they are telling me this slow divorce season brought on by the slow economy is just temporary.

It's a quality of life decision I tell all of my prospective clients. You can choose to stay miserable or move on and become happy. Divorce is certainly not cheap and should not be decided upon on a whim. But unlike the choice to see a psychic, seeking out a divorce attorney should be a well thought out decision. In that I don't see dead people or spirits during a consultation I can see when a party is miserable and would do well to seek a better life. Those in bad situations need to get over their guilt of breaking up dysfunctional families and find the money necessary to make their lives and the lives of their children healthier and happier. It was amazing to me that a psychic like John Edward was able to pack that room at $175.00 per head with no guarantees. I guess people find the money when they want to but not always when they need to.

Psychics the Flintstones and the Economy

As a divorce attorney I sometimes though not always equate myself with a fortune teller. Once a potential client comes to speak with me I can pretty much determine whether or not they will be back to see me or another attorney and begin divorce proceedings. No, I don't have any statistical data on this but usually based on the types of questions asked of me I know if this is a chronic issue that will not be resolved or merely a "bitch" session as if I'm a free therapist allowing the individual to vent and complain about their spouse for 15 minutes or so.

We all would like to know things about our future and I am no exception. My Achilles heel is the Psychic world. No not the cheap fortune tellers on the boardwalk at Atlantic City, or the ladies who advertise out of their rented store fronts. I am not that proud to admit I spend ridiculous amounts of money when I choose to hear from the dead and seek out the masters of their field. Last week I treated my mother to a galley session with the very well known John Edward. Not to be confused with the politician John Edwards, with whom my confused son thought I was going to see but couldn't fathom why.

John Edward is a Long Island born and raised Psychic with amazing abilities,as one can ascertain from watching his television show and the ticket price he commands shows he his stature and demand. Looking for a present for my mother is getting increasingly more difficult now that she and my father can no longer travel, so when I saw that Edward was local and the date was on my deceased grandmother's birthday, I thought I was receiving a sign that we should attend this Galley reading.

The tickets and the website make it quite clear that even though you are paying an outrageous amount of money that no one is guaranteed a reading. Thinking however, that all the stars were in alignment and being the eternal optimist I am, I was sure that John would be calling up my deceased family to talk with me. I should have known however, upon our arrival that it would be a disappointing evening in that although we weren't' late the only seats available were in the last row. As a veteran watcher of the show however, I knew that if John was going to read me he would find me in the bathroom if my relatives were persistent enough.

Watching Edward go from family to family, all around us to no avail I started to become somewhat despondent. My friend who also joined us in this adventure attempted to raise my spirits by indicating that perhaps my dead relatives had nothing to say to me! Then when all I thought we would never get a reading John asked a group of people in front what the Flintstones reference meant to them. Seeing my golden opportunity I started to raise my hand and jump from the back row knowing John was looking for me. "What are you doing??" my mother gasped as she pulled my hand down. "Flintstones...that's us!! I almost yelled." "What are you saying?" asked my very concerned friend. "Barbera" I said, "The Flinstones were a Hanna-Barbera Production." I always say that when people mispronounce our name, as if I have two first names: Barbra. "No", claimed my friend, "listen he is all the way up there not back here...and he is asking for a Bam Bam or Pebbles."

Lost opportunity I still say, for I am sure that the reference was a meek relative throwing a curve ball out there. No we weren't read that night but my psychic abilities tell me we were supposed to be, just as they are telling me this slow divorce season brought on by the slow economy is just temporary.

It's a quality of life decision I tell all of my prospective clients. You can choose to stay miserable or move on and become happy. Divorce is certainly not cheap and should not be decided upon on a whim. But unlike the choice to see a psychic, seeking out a divorce attorney should be a well thought out decision. In that I don't see dead people or spirits during a consultation I can see when a party is miserable and would do well to seek a better life. Those in bad situations need to get over their guilt of breaking up dysfunctional families and find the money necessary to make their lives and the lives of their children healthier and happier. It was amazing to me that a psychic like John Edward was able to pack that room at $175.00 per head with no guarantees. I guess people find the money when they want to but not always when they need to.

When You Can't Afford to Get Divorced...

Due to the current economic conditions, many couples are finding themselves unable to get a divorce. With stagnate home sales, the stock market down and the rise in unemployment, getting a divorce now may

not be financially feasible.

But what if living with your spouse is making you miserable and living in the same house seems like torture? What do you do then? Here are some ways to co-habitat in the same home with a spouse you rather divorce.

First, sit down and make a plan. If their is no hope left for your marriage and no chance for a reconciliation, yet you must live under the same roof, it is crucial that you put your differences aside for a moment and come up with a way to live together civilly. This is especially important if there are children in the house. You cannot continue to fight. You will be scarring you children for life.

Staying in an unhappy marriage can feel like being in prison. But if you cannot afford to separate, you must change you mind set and try to get along with your spouse for the time being. Thinking of your spouse as a friend or a roommate can help. The two you must control your emotions and plan your schedules so that the two of you are basically leading separate lives in the same house. Plan who is responsible for the kids on set days and times. If you are still sharing a bedroom, one of you should move into a spare room or sleep on the couch.

If you view your arrangement as a temporary solution and both of you can control yourself and co-exist without lashing out at each other, you can buy yourself some time until one of you can afford to move out. If however, there is any physical or mental abuse in the marriage, you need to think about moving in with friends or relatives for the time being. If that is not an option and you have no place to go, yet feel like you may be in danger, contact your local woman's shelter for help. You can find agencies online in your town that offer assistance. Remember, no matter how bad your finances are, you should never stay in home with a potentially dangerous spouse.

Why You Must Protect Yourself During Your Divorce...

The tragic story in the news right now is about Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson and how her mother, father and nephew were all brutally killed.

The suspect in custody is her sister's estranged husband. Supposedly, this man had threatened to kill his wife's family recently, but no one thought he was serious.

Sadly, murder and violence occurs in divorce cases routinely. I have written many times about how you must protect yourself if you have any reason to believe your ex could be dangerous. If your ex threatens you or a member of your family, BELIEVE him. Do not shrug it off as the rantings of someone upset by an impending divorce. Your ex may not act out, but if there is even the slightly possibility of him making good on his threat, you need to take action.

Call the police and get a restraining order. Do not go anywhere alone and make sure someone is with you at all times. You can never be "too safe". If you feel your family could be in harm's way, make sure the restraining order includes your family members and they exercise the same caution.

With great sorrow and tragedy often comes life lessons that can help or save others. I hope what happened to Jennifer Hudson's family will startle and wake up anyone who is a victim of domestic abuse and feels threatened by their spouse. Just because this case is in the media spotlight, does not mean that it is a rare incident. Please protect yourself and your family from an abusive partner and consider any verbal threats as a real possibility.

Yes I am Hawking my Book

I have been diligently reading how to market my now complete book, which if you haven't seen is now available on Amazon.com. I have also attempted to contact Barnes and Noble and Borders. As I figured there are all sorts of hoops one must jump through in order to make your book available through these big store. One idea I thought was possible however, was offered by Barnes and Noble. They suggest talking to the local manager of one of their stores and asking them to host an author's event. Of course all of the advertising is on the author but it is a way of introducing your book to a group of people all at once. As I was ruminating over this idea and liking it more each day I opened the paper today and read that one of my all time favorite authors is indeed having an event at the Barnes & Noble I was going to call. So here is how I imagined my meeting would go now with the manager.

"Hello, I my name is Janine Barbera. I am a local author with a book that just came out and I am inquiring about doing an event at your location."
Manager: "My location?"
Me: "Yes, Sir. I live locally and thought I could attract a decent number of individuals into the store."
Manager: "My location is sponsoring Nelson DeMille this week."
Me "Yes, I did read that, and frankly I planned to attend, he is one of my favorite authors."
Manager: "You see we really only host authors with a following. The idea is to attract people to the event and later they roam the store."
Me: "Yes, I do understand that and I thought perhaps on a slow week I would be able to have an event and bring some traffic into the store."
Manager: "What is a slow week? We are heading into the holiday season. And did I mention Nelson DeMille is having an event?"
Me. "Yes you did mention it."
Manager "Well we really only have events for established authors last week we hosted that guy from the Food Network."
Me: "Yes, I had never heard of him but I did see that."
Manager: "Hey I have a great idea...why not come to Nelson DeMille's event and ask him to mention your book? You know bring a bagful of copies and at the intermission tell him you are a big fan, these guys eat that up and maybe he will grab the mike and give you a shout out."
Me: "I'm not sure that is appropriate really..and I don't want to walk in like some bag lady.."
Manager: "No No trust me this will work...listen I feel bad for you but frankly this is the only way you will get any exposure here at Barnes & Noble. I have to go now, we are setting up for the DeMille event. Thanks for calling."

Yes I am Hawking my Book

I have been diligently reading how to market my now complete book, which if you haven't seen is now available on Amazon.com. I have also attempted to contact Barnes and Noble and Borders. As I figured there are all sorts of hoops one must jump through in order to make your book available through these big store. One idea I thought was possible however, was offered by Barnes and Noble. They suggest talking to the local manager of one of their stores and asking them to host an author's event. Of course all of the advertising is on the author but it is a way of introducing your book to a group of people all at once. As I was ruminating over this idea and liking it more each day I opened the paper today and read that one of my all time favorite authors is indeed having an event at the Barnes & Noble I was going to call. So here is how I imagined my meeting would go now with the manager.

"Hello, I my name is Janine Barbera. I am a local author with a book that just came out and I am inquiring about doing an event at your location."
Manager: "My location?"
Me: "Yes, Sir. I live locally and thought I could attract a decent number of individuals into the store."
Manager: "My location is sponsoring Nelson DeMille this week."
Me "Yes, I did read that, and frankly I planned to attend, he is one of my favorite authors."
Manager: "You see we really only host authors with a following. The idea is to attract people to the event and later they roam the store."
Me: "Yes, I do understand that and I thought perhaps on a slow week I would be able to have an event and bring some traffic into the store."
Manager: "What is a slow week? We are heading into the holiday season. And did I mention Nelson DeMille is having an event?"
Me. "Yes you did mention it."
Manager "Well we really only have events for established authors last week we hosted that guy from the Food Network."
Me: "Yes, I had never heard of him but I did see that."
Manager: "Hey I have a great idea...why not come to Nelson DeMille's event and ask him to mention your book? You know bring a bagful of copies and at the intermission tell him you are a big fan, these guys eat that up and maybe he will grab the mike and give you a shout out."
Me: "I'm not sure that is appropriate really..and I don't want to walk in like some bag lady.."
Manager: "No No trust me this will work...listen I feel bad for you but frankly this is the only way you will get any exposure here at Barnes & Noble. I have to go now, we are setting up for the DeMille event. Thanks for calling."

"Must Love Dogs"...

If you are a pet owner and also looking to meet someone new after your divorce you know how important it is to date someone who will accept and love your pet. There is no sense in dating someone who is allergic to cats or dogs or who is not interested in pets, if pets are an important part of your life.

Since I have both cats and dogs and consider them all important members of my family, anyone I date must love both dogs and cats and be able to put with the way I spoil and baby them. My Maltese dog, Luigi, sleeps next to me every night, will only eat if I mix beech nut turkey baby food into his dog food and will bite a stranger's ankles if not properly introduced. He does has some "issues" and any boyfriend of mine would not only have to understand this, but be willing to love him as much as I do.

So how do you find the perfect dog or cat loving mate? There is a new website I discovered that matches you will potential partners based on the type of animal you love and the type of breed. At www.therightbreed.com you can find other compatible singles interested in dating someone with pets. Some other ways to meet animal lovers, would be to visit dog parks or join a dog or cat meetup.com group(many have groups based on breeds).

If "must love dogs...or cats" is on your list of musts for a future partner, avoid the heartache of having to choice between your "best friend" and a new partner and make sure to ask a potential date about how he or she feels about pets before going out on that first date. This way you do not waste your time getting to know someone and possibly falling in love with someone who does not share your love of animals.