Would You Get Divorced On A Reality Show?...

Thanks to a new T.V. show called "Splitsville" you will soon have that option. "Splitsville" is being described as "The War of the Roses" meets "Let's Make a Deal,"It is a game show where divorcing couples will go through a series of competitive challenges for their own assets.

I think this is crazy. I have not seen this show yet, but from what I have heard so far, I think is is exploiting divorcing couples. Having a couple battle for their own assets on a national TV show, in front of millions of people is repulsive. Can you imagine what the children of these couples will think? Children are often ashamed when their parents get a divorce, now everyone in their school and neighborhood can watch their parents on TV fighting.

I will reserve my final judgment of this show when I see it but I cannot possibly see how this can be a positive solution for divorcing couples. Our divorce courts are filled with divorcing couples going through long, expensive, heartbreaking divorces. Encouraging couples to "fight" on TV can only have negative consequences.

Cheating Husband Syndrome...

You would think that when a husband cheats on his wife, he would feel guilt and remorse. When confronting a cheating husband you would expect tears, apologies and begs for forgiveness from him. But often the opposite happens. A cheater who is caught red handed turns on his wife and becomes mean, nasty and confrontational. He blames her for forcing him to look elsewhere for affection. By attacking her, he eases his guilt and justifies his actions.

Many women, who confront their husbands about an affair, are shocked when their husbands display anger and indifference instead of remorse. Since women tend to blame themselves when things go wrong, many women will spend time wondering what they did to cause the affair. They agonize over what they might of done to drive their husbands into the arms of another woman. They beat themselves up, analyzing what they could of done differently to prevent the affair.

But what these women need to understand is that there was nothing they could of done. Their husband made a choice. That choice was made freely. If the husband was feeling unhappy in his marriage, he should of confronted his wife and dealt with the issues instead of choosing to become involved with another woman.

If your husband has cheated, do not blame yourself. His infidelity is not your fault. You are not responsible for another person's actions, only your own. Sometimes, as crazy as it may sound, an affair can be a gift. You now know what kind of person you are married to. A man who blames his wife for his infidelity is a coward.This is a person who cannot be trusted, a man who is immature and selfish. You have a choice to make. You can either stay married to a man that you cannot trust or you can start over and rebuild your life by surrounding yourself with positive, trustworthy people. Remember you cannot fix or change your husband, you can only change yourself.

Discover the secrets to a successful divorce.....

MARRIAGE IN MEXICO

Young Moors in Mexico, Michoacan
Originally uploaded by zocalo2010

Reuters reported contradictory proposals in Mexico yesterday. (Click here) Apparently it too is suffering from the global rise in the divorce rate which has now reached the giddy heights of 3 in 10. As a result one politician there wants to legitimise pre-nuptial agreements to make divorce settlements easier. At the same time however and concerned about the vast sums spent on wedding celebrations where increasingly one of the couple fails to show, he also wants to make the agreement to marry a binding contract.

It seems to me that it would be foolish to make one of these reforms without the other. Faced with the prospect of paying out sums in compensation if they don’t get to the altar as arranged, I anticipate that the divorce rate might just climb higher but, with a pre-nup, at least they will have already undertaken the damage limitation exercise. More work for the lawyers too with compensation claims and pre-marital agreements to draft!

Can you trust the Government to collect your child support?...

In Oregon, a department of justice employee and her fiance are being accused of stealing from single parents by devising a scheme that enables them to collect unclaimed child support payments. These two stole thousands from the very families who need it the most. How tragic.

This is a rare incident and I don't think people should panic and not
utilize the services of local state child support enforcement agencies.
But it should serve as a wake up call to parents to stay diligent and
frequently check with support officials about child support payments.

Here are three tips for working with your local child support enforcement agency:

1. Be persistent. These agencies are overloaded with cases and do not have enough case workers to handle them all. You need to make frequent calls and keep after them to collect any unpaid child support due you. . Do not give up! The biggest complaint I hear about from frustrated parents who cannot collect child support is that they can't get someone on the phone at the agency. Keep calling. Call every day if you have to. Ask to speak to supervisors.

When my ex switched jobs, the child support agency stopped garnishing his wages. I called and found out that it was his employer who was not complying with the order and taking the money out of his pay. The agency explained that they sent several letters to his employer, trying to get them to cooperate. I took it one step further and called the human resource department at his job. I told them that by not withholding my ex-husband's wages, as directed by the court, they were breaking the law and I would hold them accountable. Soon after they began withholding his wages.

2. Provide information. Make sure to update your case worker frequently with any
information you may have about your ex. If you find out your ex had changed jobs, moved or any other information that could affect your case, be sure to inform the agency.

3. Check deposit amounts for accuracy. If you receive support payments by direct deposit, check or if the support is issued via a bank card, make sure to check that the amount is correct and being deposited on a regular schedule. If you see a missed payment, do not automatically assume your ex has not paid, it could be an error from the child support agency. Call them and find out.

Find out how to protect yourself financially during your divorce....

IT'S IN THE STARS

I don’t believe in astrology but can never resist reading my horoscope when I spot it. Today I came across this offering and thought it was worth sharing:

Bring things down to earth today. Get yourself grounded and enjoy the day. You will find that the more you slow down and adopt a caring, sensitive, receptive attitude, the more things will be naturally flowing your way. This is not a day to fight. It is a day to connect with others on a symbiotic level. Nurture yourself and others. Get a massage and snuggle up close to those you love.

Mind if you are inclined to believe in this sort of thing, this example will only work if you are a Pisces.

THE WITCH

Recently I blogged about “the rat”, a term used repeatedly by clients to describe their husbands. Another name frequently used is “the witch” usually reserved for the other woman, although sadly I have known some men refer to their ex-wives as such also.

In Austria, tradition has loaned itself to a ceremony for disposing of the witch who has come to represent the cold and harshness associated with winter months. At least that is how I understood the explanation given to me of the parade we witnessed through Stuben one evening last week. It was led by a band to a point on the piste where a bonfire was lit and fireworks set off. Reminiscent of our own Guy Fawkes Night a witch was duly burnt, although fortunately she was constructed from a pine tree.

Dating After Divorce? Get A Background Check First...

A new service is now available to online daters. Now you have the option to find out about a potential date's history, including marriage and divorce records, criminal records, civil litigation, bankruptcies, and major asset ownership. DateMate puts criminal background, public records, and assets - into one comprehensive report. DateMate is available on US Search.com for $24.95.

It may be reassuring to find out that the new person you met online is not
a criminal, but I find it a little creepy to pry into someone’s private information. Then again, you probably wouldn’t hire a nanny to watch your kids without doing a background check first so why should you date someone without one?

Nowadays, background checks are used routinely for employment, renters and
in some schools you can’t go on your kid’s field trip without a background trip first.

I guess I am torn on this issue. It does seem like a good idea but at the same time
an invasion of privacy. Imagine meeting someone online, falling in love and then telling that person that you went behind their back and investigated them. Maybe the solution is to tell your potential date that you will be checking them out first before meeting them in person? What do you think?