999

Today is of course the ninth day of the ninth month of the ninth year of the second millennium. In Chinese culture the number 9 is pronounced the same as the word for long lasting and so is often associated with marriage as a symbol for an everlasting relationship. The significance of today’s date was not therefore lost on the 500 Chinese Malaysian couples in Kuala Lumpur who participated in a mass wedding. Nor indeed on a Los Angeles budget chain, known as the 99 Cents Only Stores, which paid the bill for 9 couples to marry in a famous romantic location.

In our culture 999 is of course the number we dial for the emergency services. Perhaps with a bit of forethought our “Less Than a Pound” stores might have been persuaded to pay for 9 unlucky couples to travel to their solicitors with a police escort in order to get an injunction and be divorced, as well as giving them each 99 pence. Okay, it was only a thought.

HE'S LEAVING

Millions of women across the nation were devastated this morning by news that the other man in their life is leaving. “I'd rather leave while we're in love, as the song says, … while we still delight in each other's company,” he explained.

No longer will he be there when they get up on a morning. Their cornflakes and toast will never taste the same again. Yes, Sir Terry Wogan today announced that he will retire from the Radio 2 Breakfast Show that he has hosted for 16 years, at the end of the year.

THREE GO ON HOLIDAY TOGETHER

This week there was news that an Indian Travel Agency, KV Tours and Travels, has launched a new line of holidays with the aim of saving marriages. Branded as divorce tourism packages, couples book to stay in hill station resorts or exotic foreign destinations and get to take a marriage counsellor with them. Somehow I don’t think there will be the demand for our own High Street agents to compete in such a market. That said I’ve long wondered why if people marry in exotic locations they don’t consider divorcing there too, and taking the lawyer along with them; honestly it would be no hardship from my point of view!

NORTH/SOUTH DIVIDE

It was reported in the newspapers yesterday that Manchester law firm, Pannone, has revealed a North/South divide when it comes to the outcome of divorce cases. Its findings, based on trawling the results of some 1700 cases it has handled across the UK since 2007, allegedly show that courts in the North favour husbands and those in the South wives. How can this be? As someone who has only ever practised int' North, I am outraged. Is this another opportunity for a slur on the upper half of our country with far more to offer than images of “dark satanic mills,” flat caps and pigeons? Then I remembered that client who, once upon a time, displayed profound dignity and understanding when I indicated that she must find work and support herself.

“Nae problem hinny,” she responded, “After runnin’ round afta ‘im for twenty years, cookin ‘is meals, cleanin’ ‘is shoes and mekkin up ‘is bait box evry mornin’ then tendin’ to the ten babbies ar’ve borne ‘im, workin’ll be a doddle and a’ll get paid for it!”

TILL DEATH US DO PART

I know this is supposed to be a blog about divorce but that has to allow me to talk about marriage from time to time doesn’t it? I hope so because I just wanted to highlight the sad news reported by the BBC today that one half of Britain’s longest married couple has died. Frank and Anita Milford (both 101 this year) met at a YMCA dance and married 2 years later in 1928. When they were interviewed in 2007, at the time of their 79th wedding anniversary, they attributed the longevity of their marriage to being prepared to “give and take.”

Strangely, that’s also how some divorcees describe the outcome of their divorce settlements: “I gave and she took.”

That’s not what the Milfords meant, of course, and I hope that their sentiments have inspired and helped many other couples with their relationships. I would also wish to express my sincere condolences to Mrs Mitford and the couple’s family at this time of mourning.

FOOTSTEPS OF A DEAD POET

Whilst staying in the Lake District last week, Little Girl and I undertook a series of what we called Dead Poet Walks in the vicinity of Grasmere culminating on Thursday with a visit to the Wordsworth Museum. I didn’t expect to find anything of interest to a family lawyer amongst the exhibits but all at once I came upon the tale of William Wordsworth’s visit to France in 1791. It seems that he couldn’t resist a trip across the Channel amidst the upheaval of the French Revolution (typical of a poet, some may say) and whilst there befriended a lady who became his travelling companion. She gave birth to his daughter but he then had to return to England and left them (typical of a man, others may say), promising to return and marry when the political situation allowed it. Needless to say in 1802 he instead married Mary Hutchinson from down the road.

I have no idea whether or not he paid maintenance, although there is some suggestion that before marrying he at least volunteered an acceptable settlement. Even today the CSA would not be able to make an assessment upon him, although reciprocal arrangements with France would mean that any maintenance order granted there could be enforced in the English Courts.

Why is it that an area of the country as beautiful as the Lake District can have inspired some, like Wordsworth, to write verse, others to paint but all I can come up with is a blog entry?

SYNAESTHESIA

“Astonishing Splashes of Colour” is a novel by Clare Morrall whose interests include synaesthesia where emotions can be seen in colours. I confess that I enjoyed the somewhat tear-jerking experience of reading this unlikely tale of a motherless woman who would never be a mother herself, as she acted impulsively in the depths of her depression. Whilst the main character in the novel lived next door to, rather than with, her husband, there was nothing about divorce in this book. I couldn’t help wondering though about all the colours one would go through when experiencing the emotions that can accompany the trauma of divorce. The red and purple, crimson and puce, blue and indigo and ultimately beige, green then yellow.