How Divorce Affects Friendships

It can be difficult making the adjustment from being part of a married couple to being a single person once again. You may no longer share the same interests as your married friends and relationships can become awkward and strained.

It hurts when you feel as though you no longer fit in with the same people you once called your friends. If you and your spouse were close with other couples and socialized together, you may feel out of place at gatherings with other couples. After dealing with the loss of your marriage, it is especially hard to lose friends as well.

But divorce is a new beginning and sometimes divorcing your spouse means also shedding old relationships that no longer suite you. The truth is you may not have that much in common with your married friends anymore. Finding new friendships with other single or divorced people in the same situation as you can be therapeutic.

A great place to make new friends is www.meetup.com. Meetup is an online website
that you can join for free. You can find groups of people in your area that you share specific interests with and meet each other locally. You can find divorce support groups and other single groups. It is wonderful to meet with other people who understand what you have gone through and are there to support you. Finding new friends that share a hobby or passion of yours is also benefical.

Divorce means starting over and although you may see some friendships come to an end, new ones are waiting for you.

ANIMAL PAIRS

The water buffalo lives in the marshy fields of Kerala as does the cattle egret. The two enjoy close proximity with the egret eating leeches from the buffalo’s back and legs whilst the buffalo moves its hooves to reveal a gourmet’s delight of species of mud insect for the egret to feed on. To see the two living dutifully side by side is a contrast to so many cattle and species of bird at home. Unlike the humble elephant (click here for my blog entry on elephants), I don’t think the buffalo and the egret will ever divorce.

Two creatures which do not live so harmoniously together are the ghekko and cricket. Whilst sitting one evening last week, we observed the former pounce on the latter and kill it by what can only be assumed to be strangulation using its jaw muscles. Many of my clients are inclined to quip that murdering one’s partner may only result in a 30 year prison sentence compared with divorce and maintenance payments for life. However, even if you do have the constitution of a ghekko (which incidentally also proceeded to eat the evidence), I do not recommend murder as a remedy for relationship difficulties.

GLOBAL DISHARMONY

Whilst I’ve been blogging about India it seems that there has been an influx of global tales of marital disharmony.

It started in the East with news that a cheated wife in China gatecrashed a televised presentation of the unveiling of the Beijing Olympics’ channel to denounce one of its presenters (also her husband) as an adulterer. Needless to say that piece of television has now made its way to YouTube for which click here. Congratulations should be offered on the lady’s composure but personally I’d prefer to make such allegations in a court room rather than in front of the burly chaps who seemingly muscled in to persuade her to move away from the cameras.

Here in the UK we had a decision from the Court of Appeal effectively giving the green light to pre-nuptial agreements which for so long have been disregarded as being contrary to public policy (and the sanctity of marriage), Now it seems that if
1) you are perhaps worth £18million at the time of your marriage and regardless of the fact your husband may be worth 3 times as much (but nobody knows because the court wouldn’t allow any disclosure),and
2) you enter into a deed agreeing each to keep your own and to make no claim against your spouse should the relationship break down, and
3) it does (after a period of only 18 months or so),
then you just might be held to your agreement!

Next there was news that a wife in Egypt is going to court to establish whether or not she has been properly divorced by her husband under Syaria law as a result of declarations of divorce received from him by text message. Muslim law permits the pronouncement of talak, whereby the utterance of words denoting divorce by a husband on 3 occasions result in an automatic end to the marriage. Malaysia has apparently already outlawed the use of text message for this purpose; as a result of lobbying by divorce lawyers presumably.

Then in the newspapers today there were reports of the criminal prosecution of Mr Medley who allegedly, in a fit of pique following the sale of the personalised plate on his Ferrari by his wife, disposed of a shoe from every one of the many pairs in her £1,000 collection. They are now happily divorced but apparently not speaking.

Finally we also had further news concerning Britney Spears. It was only 2 days ago that we were told her legal team no longer want to act for her because of communication difficulties. On the basis that they still have telephone, e-mail and postal services in the USA I guess that this means she is being reticent in the delivery of instructions. Today we are advised that she was carried out of her house on a stretcher after some kind of altercation relating to the custody of her two young toddlers when police, the father’s lawyer, a helicopter and numerous police cars were all called to the house. Spare a thought for the children, presumably in there at the time, and at the centre of what can be best described as a horrible mess

Deadbeat Parents Might Soon Have "Wall Of Shame"....


Parents who owe more than $500 in child support payments might soon be featured on a new website. Their name, addresses and how much they owe will be listed, similar to the department of Revenue's website that posts individuals with unpaid back taxes.

The legislation is being introduced from Wisconsin State Representative
Steve Wieckert (R-Appleton). Wisconsin currently has over 3 billion dollars owed in unpaid child support.

A website featuring deadbeat parents could help deter would be offenders from refusing to pay child support. However, "shaming" parents who maybe a few hundred dollars behind in support might not be a good idea. Illness or job loss could cause a temporary setback in payments from a parent who normally supports his or her children. It is an excellent idea for parents who owe large amounts of child support and are purposely avoiding their responsibilities.

The deadbeat parent that hides his assets, works off the books and engages in other sneaky behavior aimed at avoiding paying support, needs to be exposed. Non payment of child support does not just affect the children who go without support, it affects everyone. Many custodial parents who do not receive child support are forced to go on welfare and tax dollars are spent supporting the children of deadbeat parents. Businesses that employee custodial parents whose children are owed child support are also affected. Parents dealing with a deadbeat must take time off of work for court dates, make phone calls to case workers during business hours and are under both emotional and financial stress.

It is time more action is taken against deadbeats who purposely circumvent the system. A clear message must be sent to parents who refuse to financially support their own children. They must understand that there are consequences and they will not be allowed to "beat the system" and get away with neglecting their kids.

ELEPHANTS

No holiday in India could be complete without riding on an elephant. The Indian elephant, like the dog and horse, goes back in history as serving mankind. Thus in time honoured tradition we strolled around a spice plantation astride one of these graceful creatures, She was a female named Monica and differed from her male counterpart in that she readily responded to commands to smile for the camera. She did not shame herself by shouting for more pineapples which she munched delicately, initially rejecting the leafy stalks whilst he crunched his whole. Further she did not relieve herself in front of guests who were all visibly shocked by the heaps of dung and flooding created by her partner.

Trust me, as elephants evolve they’ll learn to divorce rather than to wave their trunks for tourists’ cameras.

Another Year, Another Divorce

January in our business typically booms, and I am happy to report this year is no exception.
We are all happy to end the holidays which are usually spent with much too much family. The artificial rat race to a stress heart attack we are all conditioned to follow starting the week before Thanksgiving and not ending until New Year's Day usually brings and end to the lull of business before the holidays. This year was an exception. If you read my blog at all you know that I had 5 trials scheduled between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Not all of them went to trial, but all of them had to be prepped and dealt with to various degrees. The "break" I was used to did not exist this year and the Holidays always a stressful time wore me down completely. Thankfully the extended time off restored my body and spirit and I live to fight another day.
The new year has brought with it a client who failed to heed my many warnings about the nefarious nature of her husband and one day came home to find almost one million dollars in assets disappear. Another client had her Christmas tree stolen by her soon to be ex husband. One potential client wanted me to draft a custody agreement involving the party's pets, complete with a visitation schedule and support obligation. All in all 2008 promises to be yet another banner year in the field of matrimonial law, as we soon begin the rotation of the judges we see some friendly faces disappear and wonder how the new crop of black robed ones view myself and my colleagues and more importantly how they view their role in the matrimonial law process. Happy New Year!

Another Year, Another Divorce

January in our business typically booms, and I am happy to report this year is no exception.
We are all happy to end the holidays which are usually spent with much too much family. The artificial rat race to a stress heart attack we are all conditioned to follow starting the week before Thanksgiving and not ending until New Year's Day usually brings and end to the lull of business before the holidays. This year was an exception. If you read my blog at all you know that I had 5 trials scheduled between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Not all of them went to trial, but all of them had to be prepped and dealt with to various degrees. The "break" I was used to did not exist this year and the Holidays always a stressful time wore me down completely. Thankfully the extended time off restored my body and spirit and I live to fight another day.
The new year has brought with it a client who failed to heed my many warnings about the nefarious nature of her husband and one day came home to find almost one million dollars in assets disappear. Another client had her Christmas tree stolen by her soon to be ex husband. One potential client wanted me to draft a custody agreement involving the party's pets, complete with a visitation schedule and support obligation. All in all 2008 promises to be yet another banner year in the field of matrimonial law, as we soon begin the rotation of the judges we see some friendly faces disappear and wonder how the new crop of black robed ones view myself and my colleagues and more importantly how they view their role in the matrimonial law process. Happy New Year!