Dealing with Your Ex During the Holidays

Thanksgiving is almost here and Christmas is around the corner. Have you figured who gets the kids for which holiday? Is it even a issue or have you and your ex hammered out an agreement in your divorce settlement setting the rules?

If you do not have plan for the holidays and now find yourself arguing over whose house the kids are going to, now is the time to take a step back and consider how your children are feeling.

You may want your kids with you, but your kids want to be with both of their parents for the holidays. Can you put your feelings aside and make that happen by splitting the day, maybe lunch with mom and dinner with dad?

Sometimes though that becomes impossible if is one parent lives a considerable distant away. My own ex-husband lives in another state, so my kids do not get to spend holidays with him anymore. They will see him for almost a week after Christmas. If you are in a similar situation, try to have your kids get to spend some quality time with their father during the holidays, even if it is not exactly on Christmas or Thanksgiving day.

The most important thing you can do for your children this holiday season is try not to bicker and fight with your ex. Keep calm and try and not to call him out on every annoying thing he does. Tell yourself that you will let things go for the holidays and then if you want you can go right back to arguing after the New Year, although it would be so much better for your kids if you could continue to try your best to get along with your ex all year round.

Is Your Ex Driving You Crazy? How to cope with an annoying ex..

Do You Ever Wonder How You Could Of Married Your Ex?...

I brought my kids to visit their dad this weekend and have been trying my best to get along with him so that we can co-parent our children in a healthy way. This has not been easy. My ex likes to challenge me and push my buttons. My goal has been to stay calm no matter what he is saying to me and not react in a negative way.

Today we were having a conversation in a public place and my ex started to pepper his language with some profanity. Not only was this in front of my two teenage sons who are very impressionable and are reprimanded for using foul language themselves, it was in earshot of other children and their parents. Needless to say I was embarrassed and asked him to watch his language. He refused and did not see anything wrong with cursing in public.

Later on, after the incident, I wondered how my ex could of changed so much. I felt like I did not know this person. Was this the same man I was married to for 13 years?At first, I could not recall him acting the way he did today. But then I remembered,there were times when he acted the very same way, I just had forgotten. Maybe he hadn't changed into this foul mouthed, angry man after our divorce, maybe he had been that man all along. Maybe the person who changed was me. I was now someone who would not tolerate that kind of behavior anymore.

The person I was at 22 years old when I married this man is not the same person I am today at 40. I am so thankful now that I was able to escape a marriage to someone who has such different beliefs and values than me. Even though my divorce was a nightmare, it has forced me to grow and change in ways I never thought possible. I am happier now that I have ever been in my life.

So will my ex and I ever be able to co-parent together and get along for the sake of our children? I am trying and things have gotten better, despite his outbursts and bad language. I have discovered that although nothing I do or say can change my ex's behavior, I can control my reaction to him and the way I behave.