The Greatest Gift

It has been a while since I blogged and that is because it is only now that I am able to catch my breath. While this blog has been a vent for me to air my thoughts on the legal process and my career it sometimes has some very personal notes. I knew I couldn't write without emotion of the last two weeks. Two very dear people close to me passed away within 5 days of each other. My grandmother who had been on this earth 94 years and whose quality of life broke my heart each week when I would visit her was mercifully taken to my grandfather who had been waiting patiently in heaven for over 22 years. Now while I don't presume to understand the cosmic picture and nor do I usually engage in questioning the good Lord and his ways, the passing of my father 5 days later is something that I cannot wrap my mind around. My mother lost her mother and her husband in virtually the same week. Yes, my Dad had health issues, anyone knowing me could attest that over the course of a year we had visited almost every hospital on the Island at one time or another due to my Dad's conditions. He always seemed to pull it out, even when the health professionals tried to count him out.
The last trip we took was last February (2008) to my Dad's all time favorite place: Disneyworld in Florida. It was a difficult trip for him in many ways. He couldn't do the walking he once could and he became very dangerous on the scooter we rented for him.(Dangerous to others not himself...he was a crazy driver). When we got home he collapsed on my driveway. We never knew exactly why but we sensed the plane ride and the trip was really just too much for his body. We all knew that would be his last trip. But after a few months the bug bit us again and we started to talk about maybe another trip, maybe he could do Vegas if one of my boys went with them. That was not to be however, his health was full of ups and downs and he never really felt good enough to make a plan.
I know the ache in my heart will eventually ease. I know the memories I have will comfort me at some point. I try to console myself with the fact that by taking him quickly my Dad did not suffer the indignities his illness would have eventually brought to him not to mention the pain and diminished quality of life that stretched as a certainty before him. Unlike my poor Nani who lived the last 3 years of her life in a nursing home unsure of who we were and making it impossible to visit without questioning the reason why the body is allowed to sustain itself without the mind. We the living are hurt and confused. I try to believe God did my Dad a favor by giving him the greatest gift of mercy. I'm trying to understand and believe but I am only a mere mortal with a broken heart. I miss you Dad.