Dr. Phil and Family Court

Recently on the Dr. Phil show my son and I have been engrossed in the saga about an allegedly abused child named Kaylee. My son, the only one of my offspring not entirely turned off by the legal profession is passionate about the program. While I genuinely love Dr. Phil's no nonsense approach to the psycho dramas he presents on a daily basis, it concerns me that he is as clueless as the rest of lay society about the justice system. Dr. Phil made statements about child protective services being an agency he holds in high regard and seems to value the purported unbiased views of the black robed individuals who dispense justice; sometimes.
Dr. Phil needs a real life reality check and should meander down to the local family court, just about anywhere should do and surround himself in the justice as it is dispensed from the bench. I bet it would be a real eye opener. Who knows whether an issue of abuse exists in the case on his show. Certainly there is some physical evidence I find hard to ignore, however a judge and multitude of CPS workers have poo,pooed it as meaningless. The father continues to enjoy unfettered access to the child and has no supervision during his visits. As a mother myself I find this as disturbing as Dr. Phil. On yesterdays show however, he seemed to question the mother's activist type behavior in protesting what she feels is the judiciary's refusal to give any credence to the physical evidence. Sometimes, Dr. Phil exposure is the only way to keep everyone honest. If the public presses the judiciary and local law enforcement to error on the side of caution where theses allegations arise perhaps there would be less child abuse. Of course the otherside of the coin can be just as compelling in that I have represented numerous litigants who have been falsely accused with very little to no evidence and kept from their children for extensive periods of time.
Where am I going with this? I would like to take Dr. Phil on a field trip through the legal system and get his take on how to better dispense justice. I bet Dr. Phil will be pretty disgusted with what he sees and will be glad he chose medical school over law school. Too bad the sight of blood makes me faint......

Dr. Phil and Family Court

Recently on the Dr. Phil show my son and I have been engrossed in the saga about an allegedly abused child named Kaylee. My son, the only one of my offspring not entirely turned off by the legal profession is passionate about the program. While I genuinely love Dr. Phil's no nonsense approach to the psycho dramas he presents on a daily basis, it concerns me that he is as clueless as the rest of lay society about the justice system. Dr. Phil made statements about child protective services being an agency he holds in high regard and seems to value the purported unbiased views of the black robed individuals who dispense justice; sometimes.
Dr. Phil needs a real life reality check and should meander down to the local family court, just about anywhere should do and surround himself in the justice as it is dispensed from the bench. I bet it would be a real eye opener. Who knows whether an issue of abuse exists in the case on his show. Certainly there is some physical evidence I find hard to ignore, however a judge and multitude of CPS workers have poo,pooed it as meaningless. The father continues to enjoy unfettered access to the child and has no supervision during his visits. As a mother myself I find this as disturbing as Dr. Phil. On yesterdays show however, he seemed to question the mother's activist type behavior in protesting what she feels is the judiciary's refusal to give any credence to the physical evidence. Sometimes, Dr. Phil exposure is the only way to keep everyone honest. If the public presses the judiciary and local law enforcement to error on the side of caution where theses allegations arise perhaps there would be less child abuse. Of course the otherside of the coin can be just as compelling in that I have represented numerous litigants who have been falsely accused with very little to no evidence and kept from their children for extensive periods of time.
Where am I going with this? I would like to take Dr. Phil on a field trip through the legal system and get his take on how to better dispense justice. I bet Dr. Phil will be pretty disgusted with what he sees and will be glad he chose medical school over law school. Too bad the sight of blood makes me faint......

The Key to Winning in Divorce Court

The rule to remember is: Anticipate and prepare. Think about what your opponent (your spouse) wants, and what he or she will do to get it. Consider their possible defenses and offenses, and then do your homework. Find information to counter what they have to say. Look on the Internet, go to the library, and find magazines and books. When you fight back you need to always back yourself up with proof. Anybody can say anything, but having facts in print is imperative.All of this must be in the context of the law, and the law can be a brutal thing. The first time you enter a court you may feel overwhelmed. The judge’s rulings may seem unfair to the point of being ridiculous. Here is an example: your ex isn’t paying any child support and you receive a shutoff notice for the electricity in midwinter. You don’t have a court date for another three weeks. Your attorney informs you that you must wait until your court date to get any help. Emergency orders are rarely granted. So your electricity can be shut off while you wait for your court date. You wait, hoping they won’t shut it off before the court date. Then, with two days to go, your lawyer calls. Your court date has been postponed! This happens all the time. The calendars of family courts are always overcrowded. You may sit waiting through a whole day, paying your lawyer more with each hour that passes, only to be told that your case has been delayed for two weeks.Your lawyer will know these things, but don’t rely too completely on that. A good lawyer is an expert, but a lawyer is also your representative and your advisor. He or she is there to convey your case to the court. To do the job well a lawyer must know exactly what you are after. But you must have some knowledge of the law as well. Only then can you ask the right questions, and make informed choices when the lawyer presents you with options and decisions. It’s essential for you to learn as much as you can about the family laws in your state. These are the laws governing marriage, children, common assets, and divorce.Every day women suffer travesties of injustice in courtrooms. It is a bruising process. Realize that from the start. Form a thick skin. If you don’t, you will be constantly frustrated and upset. I shed many a tear from frustration as my husband walked away without paying our children a dime. At each juncture I returned to a home where every responsibility was mine. I still thank God I had a family that helped me through those dark days. I often think of the women who do not have such support, and wonder how they manage.Once again, the rule is: Anticipate and prepare. If you realize the road will be a long and hard one, you can anticipate the difficulties, and prepare with the support of your family.
About the Author:Christina Rowe is the author of the new book "Seven Secrets To A Successful Divorce-What Every Woman Needs To Know". Find out the survival skills that will save you time, money and heartache during your divorce.For a FREE chapter of "Seven Secrets to a Successful Divorce" go to http://www.secretsofdivorce.com

Foresic Evaluations
Following the usual slippery slopes in the matrimonial world comes the latest in a family's ultimate destruction called the Forensic Evaluations. These are in-depth evaluations done on behalf of the court giving a recommendation as to the custodial fitness of the various parties, meant to aide the judge in his decision regarding custody of the children.
Using a myriad psychological tools and a series of interviews; the evaluators, usually single, non parents themselves, make recommendations and judgments on individuals going through the worst times of theirs lives and offering a do or die decision on parental ability. I have seen reports that completely ignore a lifetime of caregiving look at a microscopic period of time in a marriage and completely rule in favor of a parent who just learned how to change a diaper.
Giving little to no thought as to the psychological impact of separating the children from the parent that has put their entire life on hold to parent these children in favor of the more recently emerging parent of the day.
I find it an atrocity to the system and to parenthood as a whole that these purported "experts" feel they have such power in the court to give a judgment on which parent is the best parent to raise the children, regardless of the consequences.
Walk in parental shoes, I want to say to these "experts." Handle the day to day parenting and then tell me which parent is the primary provider and which should be. Don't look at the short span surrounding the divorce action, I say, look at the entirety of the marriage. Which parent put their career on hold to stay home and parent these children? Wasn't that a joint decision at the time? Shouldn't therefore that decision play a prime role in your recommendation?? Why is it that the stay at home parent can easily be tossed over to non custodian because he or she has not presented her/his best during the most trying time any person will ever experience. The divorce-time "parents of the year" always fail to impress me, but usually impress the hell out of these clinical forensic evaluators. They are forever impressed with the parent who steps up to the plate during a custody battle to "protect the kids" from the evil stay at home parent who has been in the trenches all these years and at present is fighting to be vindicated and appreciated. Yes, it is so much easier for the working parent to step in with his/her patience still in tact and their mind clear due to the absence of years of formula, diapers and Barney, and can now diplomatic run the household much more efficiently with older children. The emotional and burned out parent deserves recognition for those difficult years not a swift kick out the door as custodial parent. Shame on the system. Shame on those who allow this travesty.

Foresic Evaluations
Following the usual slippery slopes in the matrimonial world comes the latest in a family's ultimate destruction called the Forensic Evaluations. These are in-depth evaluations done on behalf of the court giving a recommendation as to the custodial fitness of the various parties, meant to aide the judge in his decision regarding custody of the children.
Using a myriad psychological tools and a series of interviews; the evaluators, usually single, non parents themselves, make recommendations and judgments on individuals going through the worst times of theirs lives and offering a do or die decision on parental ability. I have seen reports that completely ignore a lifetime of caregiving look at a microscopic period of time in a marriage and completely rule in favor of a parent who just learned how to change a diaper.
Giving little to no thought as to the psychological impact of separating the children from the parent that has put their entire life on hold to parent these children in favor of the more recently emerging parent of the day.
I find it an atrocity to the system and to parenthood as a whole that these purported "experts" feel they have such power in the court to give a judgment on which parent is the best parent to raise the children, regardless of the consequences.
Walk in parental shoes, I want to say to these "experts." Handle the day to day parenting and then tell me which parent is the primary provider and which should be. Don't look at the short span surrounding the divorce action, I say, look at the entirety of the marriage. Which parent put their career on hold to stay home and parent these children? Wasn't that a joint decision at the time? Shouldn't therefore that decision play a prime role in your recommendation?? Why is it that the stay at home parent can easily be tossed over to non custodian because he or she has not presented her/his best during the most trying time any person will ever experience. The divorce-time "parents of the year" always fail to impress me, but usually impress the hell out of these clinical forensic evaluators. They are forever impressed with the parent who steps up to the plate during a custody battle to "protect the kids" from the evil stay at home parent who has been in the trenches all these years and at present is fighting to be vindicated and appreciated. Yes, it is so much easier for the working parent to step in with his/her patience still in tact and their mind clear due to the absence of years of formula, diapers and Barney, and can now diplomatic run the household much more efficiently with older children. The emotional and burned out parent deserves recognition for those difficult years not a swift kick out the door as custodial parent. Shame on the system. Shame on those who allow this travesty.