How do you know when you are ready to Divorce?
The Divorce Questionnaire

Probably the second most asked question in any divorce consultation is "How do I know if I'm ready for a Divorce?" Of course the all time number one question during a Divorce consultation remains unparalleled at "When can I date?" The number one question never ceases to amaze me and continually causes me to question whether this bizarre question even deserves a response. The number two question however, is one which I tend to dodge. Not being a certified therapist in any way I try to indicate that seeing me is "the last resort." While I would love to have the business, the last thing I need or want is to start an action when the party is not 100% sure. To this end I recommend a series of other experts from psychologists to investigators to make sure my new client has all the help they need in answering this question on their own. I often wondered if Dr. Phil could put together a questionnaire for the divorce practionner much as he has for Match.com in helping the client decide if a Divorce is right for them. This Questionnaire would need to be filled out before a client books an appointment thus insuring that they are ready and that I do not spend the entire consultation handing over tissues and dispensing soothing words of comfort. Not having the training of a Dr. Phil but what I consider to be a comparable personality and experience in the field; I have put together a Questionnaire for those who may be considering dissolution of their marriage. Although I long abandoned the idea of trying to match up my divorced clientele following a successful divorce, I always thought it would be fun for some of my clients to get together and while they sing my praises perhaps find a love connection in the mix! Yet, another blog for another day. On to the Divorce Questionnaire:

1. Do you regularly check your spouses cell phone bills? And have you found numbers that cause you to be suspicious?
2. Would you rate the present quality of your life on a scale of 1-10 below a 5?
3. Are you aware of the finances of the marriage? (If not become aware)
4. Are you finding that you seek out attention from other members of the opposite sex to whom you are not married?
5. Are you presently in counseling? (If not get in some)
6. Have you and your spouse been in marriage counseling? (Always the first step)
7. Has your spouse refused to seek marriage counseling? (It takes two to make a marriage work)
8. Do you work extra hours or avoid going home because it is more of a war zone than a comfort zone?
9. Are your children acting out due to the some of the behavior they are witnessing between you and your spouse?
10. Are you regularly surfing the net for any information on jobs in the Caribbean which call for experience in sun worshiping and Margarita sipping?

If you have answered Yes to most of the above, then perhaps you are ready for a consultation. Of course if there is any violence or abuse of any type within your relationship either physically, mentally or emotionally; seek help immediately.