THE MAY FAIR

Yesterday I took Little Girl and two of her friends to Northallerton’s May Fair. A sign next to the Dodgem Cars captured my imagination and I took this photograph of it. Now in what circumstances would you hire that ride for “Fates”?

Each dodgem car holds two people quite closely, and the whole ride could of course be used as some kind of enormous crystal ball for the purpose of foretelling successful relationships. Indeed Gipsy Rosa Lee, who appeared to be absent from the proceedings, could have taken up residence with the dodgems instead of in her caravan.

Imagine: you get in a car with your nearest and dearest, survive a few knocks, scrapes and rocky patches to emerge at the end clutching each other’s hands and laughing. Alternatively your car breaks down in the centre and you abandon it as quickly as you can, each fleeing in opposite directions.

It could catch on as a precursor to taking wedding vows, a little like pre-nuptial agreements.

ELECTED CHANGES

Boris Johnson
Originally uploaded by barney haward

I’ve just heard that Boris is moving in and Ken out. I hope Barbie will be happy. Oh, of course, it’s not that Ken. What can I say? What about: after eight years as Mayor of London, it’s been longer than most marriages these days!

Getting Organized During Your Divorce..

If you are facing a divorce you need to get organized and prepared. I advise anyone facing a divorce to make copies of all legal and financial documents. I found a free divorce worksheet that can help you in this process at: http://www.docstoc.com/docs/272854/Divorce-Work-Sheet Docstoc.com is a great resource of free documents that you can download.

When you get organized during a divorce it helps you feel in control in a situation where you often feel helpless and overwhelmed. Although sifting through paperwork sounds tedious, it can be exactly what you need to do right now to feel better. Knowing your families financial situation and what you cane expect to receive in your divorce settlement can also ease anxiety about your financial future.

Take some time to go through the paperwork, clean out closets, and get rid of the clutter in your life. Divorce is the end of a marriage but it is also a new beginning. By getting organized you are paving the way for your new life after divorce.

How Pets Can Help You Heal After A Divorce...

Children In Control

It seems to be an epidemic where children have been given an amazing amount of control over their lives by warring parents involved in divorce and custody matters. Recently I have a number of cases, where the children are refusing to attend school, threatening bodily harm to those around them and basically running amok. The parents seem to be throwing up their hands in surrender placing blame on the other parent and on a system that ties their hands as parents in the discipline of their children. While there is some validity to this complaint, it stems mostly from the possibility of charges brought forth by the other parent who seeks to utilize the court system to their own advantage at the expense of their children. The courts must wake up to the fact that the empowerment of these children is creating a very dangerous generation being unleashed upon society. These are the children who make the papers in places like Columbine. These are the children who are arrested for making threats to their fellow students. These are the future felons of the world. I am never one to count a child out, and it pains me to be involved in cases where the judge feels the child is already a lost cause. As the mother of four, I never like to think any child is a lost cause. Parents, even those getting divorced, need to put their differences aside in order to properly discipline and parent their children. By creating these children they have a responsibility to insure that they grow into law abiding responsible adults. Putting their own self interests ahead of their children these parents really should be punished for their failure to properly parent the children they bring into this world. As a legal system we should be less willing to hear allegations against parents who are disciplining their children. We must make better decisions about making the distinction between abuse and discipline. How is it that abuse tends to be regularly overlooked but parents who are involved in a divorce regularly have the discipline of their children scrutinized by everyone from the law guardian to the forensic psychologists? Many of these "experts" are not even parents themselves, but regularly pass judgement on those involved in messy divorce cases. Mandatory therapy is not such a bad idea where the problems of the divorce have effected the children of the marriage. Parenting classes, and judges more willing to look into allegations by parents of abuse instead of just assuming that where there is smoke there must be a raging fire, may stop the trend. Or maybe adults need to just start acting like adults and let the kids be kids without adult problems.

Children In Control

It seems to be an epidemic where children have been given an amazing amount of control over their lives by warring parents involved in divorce and custody matters. Recently I have a number of cases, where the children are refusing to attend school, threatening bodily harm to those around them and basically running amok. The parents seem to be throwing up their hands in surrender placing blame on the other parent and on a system that ties their hands as parents in the discipline of their children. While there is some validity to this complaint, it stems mostly from the possibility of charges brought forth by the other parent who seeks to utilize the court system to their own advantage at the expense of their children. The courts must wake up to the fact that the empowerment of these children is creating a very dangerous generation being unleashed upon society. These are the children who make the papers in places like Columbine. These are the children who are arrested for making threats to their fellow students. These are the future felons of the world. I am never one to count a child out, and it pains me to be involved in cases where the judge feels the child is already a lost cause. As the mother of four, I never like to think any child is a lost cause. Parents, even those getting divorced, need to put their differences aside in order to properly discipline and parent their children. By creating these children they have a responsibility to insure that they grow into law abiding responsible adults. Putting their own self interests ahead of their children these parents really should be punished for their failure to properly parent the children they bring into this world. As a legal system we should be less willing to hear allegations against parents who are disciplining their children. We must make better decisions about making the distinction between abuse and discipline. How is it that abuse tends to be regularly overlooked but parents who are involved in a divorce regularly have the discipline of their children scrutinized by everyone from the law guardian to the forensic psychologists? Many of these "experts" are not even parents themselves, but regularly pass judgement on those involved in messy divorce cases. Mandatory therapy is not such a bad idea where the problems of the divorce have effected the children of the marriage. Parenting classes, and judges more willing to look into allegations by parents of abuse instead of just assuming that where there is smoke there must be a raging fire, may stop the trend. Or maybe adults need to just start acting like adults and let the kids be kids without adult problems.

TAKING PRECAUTIONS

In my last blog entry below, I alluded to the fact that divorce gets blamed for all kinds of ills in society. Last week, my attention was drawn to an article by Jenny Hope for the Daily Mail (click here for the full article). Apparently incidences of sexually transmitted diseases are increasing in the over-50’s and, as you’ll have guessed, the reason attributed is the increasing number of divorces in that age group. So if you’re over 50, recently divorced and thinking of becoming sexually active again, the considered advice is, of course, to take precautions, not against pregnancy but chlamydia and gonorrhea. In our nanny state it’s perceived as a problem the Government must tackle in terms of educating older members of society and being aware that they are generally omitted from the campaigns that plague our airwaves or magazines all aimed at the other end of the age spectrum. Maybe the courts should be sending out suitably worded literature with decree absolutes whilst solicitors should be required to install vending machines for condoms in their waiting areas. Any other suggestions?