BUNDLES OF JOY

The Department for Business, Innovation and Skills announced this week that couples are to get new maternity/paternity leave rights giving them greater choice and flexibility in the first year of a baby’s life. Essentially they will be able to transfer up to six months of the mother’s maternity leave to the father, which can be taken by the father once the mother has returned to work.

As every parent knows having a baby can be a stressful as well as a joyous experience, especially if juggling work and home commitments at the same time. As every divorce lawyer knows, those early months can also be so stressful that the domestic disharmony that can ensue can also lead to separation and relationship breakdown as everyone seeks to adapt to their changing roles.

So will a benefit intended to alleviate stress and difficulties, also in its own way and in some cases, make a relationship crisis even worse? Come 2011, I can well imagine the cases where one party or the other bemoans the fact that the other shirked their responsibilities by failing to take the second six months’ leave offered. Alternatively what about those mothers who might complain that they had to return to work so that their husbands could have six months at home with little Jack or Joanna, only to come home from work every day and find the house in disarray; dirty nappies everywhere and no dinner on the table or smiling hubby to greet them.

PROCRASTINATION

It was reported last week that the founder of Playboy, Hugh Heffner , and his wife are to divorce after living apart as next door neighbours for over 11 years. Why after all that time do people bother?

Well if like Hugh you are in your eighties, there might be a number of reasons especially if you’ve been living with someone else in the meantime and want to wed before it’s too late; it could also be something you always meant to get round to when you found the time, or, as a client once upon a time explained to me, have a desire to die single and avoid any potential inheritance disputes by getting financial issues sorted within the divorce. Hugh’s reasons appear to have been slightly different and accelerated by a dispute over property.

Of course, if you’ve lived next door to each other throughout then starting proceedings doesn’t involve any difficulty in tracing the whereabouts of your spouse. Believe me, after 11 years that isn’t always easy especially if you lived abroad as a couple or your spouse went “travelling” after your separation.

Conversely living next door to each other can’t be easy especially if your husband, despite his age, is notorious for residing with more than one young lady at once.

JUSTLY DESERVED OR DEGRADING?

The Times today reported on Baroness Deech’s call for an overhaul of family law. According to the article Baroness Deech believes that divorce laws are unfair to men, whilst multi-million pound settlements are degrading to women. Strange, I can’t think of many men being ordered to make such settlements if they don’t have the means to pay them, nor why women should go to court to secure a payment, simply to feel degraded upon receipt of it. The Baroness is proposing that judicial discretion to determine what is fair in any given case should be fettered and that instead we should have what appear almost to be draconian rules as to when for instance maintenance should be paid. The trouble is that the majority of divorce cases in this country don’t involve millions of pounds and instead outcomes are based on need as well as fairness. One size doesn’t fit all and we need to look no further than the Child Support Agency for evidence in that regard.

Resolution believes that discretion is an important part of the family law system, enabling outcomes to be tailor-made for families with the emphasis always on the best interests of children. But it agrees that there is a need for the Law Commission to review current legislation in an effort to see if greater clarity and certainty can be delivered whilst the benefits of the discretionary approach are maintained.

TOGETHER UNTIL DEATH

John Marcotte believes so firmly in traditional values that he has filed a petition with the Secretary of State for California to try to ban divorce in the sunshine state where some 75% of marriages are estimated to end in divorce. “Previous generations had it right,” he writes. “It’s better to stay together in a soul-sucking sham of a marriage, filled with icy silence punctuated with passive-aggressive hostilities than to admit you might have made a mistake.” Somehow I don’t think he’s sat at my desk and listened to some of the tales of ill-treatment and misery that I’ve been confronted with.

I’m not sure that he’ll have the support either of all those A list film and TV stars who live in California and change spouses quicker than I change my motor car. If he did they’d presumably have the resources to back his campaign rather than letting it run on proceeds from the sale of T-shirts emblazoned with the slogan: “You said till death us do part. You’re not dead yet.”

Whilst I appreciate that an argument against divorce can be based on religious grounds, here in England and Wales we have a process known as judicial separation for people who for religious reasons don’t feel they can divorce. The process very much mirrors divorce, and financial settlements are granted as part of it. At the end of the day the couple remain married but are released from any legal duty to cohabit. In the 21st Century, society has surely developed to the point that it will never force a couple to live together, especially if one is at risk of harm from doing so.

WHEAT FROM THE CHAFF

Watching our local farmers taking advantage of an unexpected warm spell in the weather to bale the remainder of their cereal crop reminded me of that adage about sifting wheat from the chaff. Information on the Internet is now so vast that even with the assistance of your favourite search engine it isn’t always easy to find what you are looking for. That said, I came across this useful site today, intended to help couples understand each other and take steps to alter things before they end up visiting a divorce solicitor. The Couple Connection.

Also whilst on the subject of the web, Resolution has come of age and joined Twitter. You can follow it here.

Back to School, Back to Work, Back to Business

I don't remember where I first heard the Summer time referred to as the "Silly Season." I think it may have been a quote from a Fitzgerald novel since I have retained many phrases in my vocabulary from that genre. Summer has always meant that to me things were not to be taken too seriously, it was a time to relax and recharge our batteries after a grueling winter and lay back and enjoy family time. Many years ago when I first started practicing law the courts literally closed for most of August in that most judges took off for the summer and after the 4th of July nothing much went on until labor day. I have pretty much retained that mind set refusing to wear stockings after June 15th and keeping my sandals (my special court sandals) on until the chill of September required closed toe shoes.

Though I am resisting the more restricted footwear, I have delved back into practice this week as I trotted the kids off to school I followed the yellow brick road back to the courthouse and am set for the fall business of divorce.

Many times I have been asked when my was my busy season and the two cycles which are pretty much constant are the middle of September and the middle of January. As the kids head back to school their parents realize that Fall should bring a new lifestyle and that may not involve the other parent any longer. Now before the vigor of the holidays starts to kick in it is time to clean house and sweep out our lives.

As your lawyer, and your confidant I stand at the ready saying goodbye to the Silly Season and hello to responsibility. See you in Court.

Back to School, Back to Work, Back to Business

I don't remember where I first heard the Summer time referred to as the "Silly Season." I think it may have been a quote from a Fitzgerald novel since I have retained many phrases in my vocabulary from that genre. Summer has always meant that to me things were not to be taken too seriously, it was a time to relax and recharge our batteries after a grueling winter and lay back and enjoy family time. Many years ago when I first started practicing law the courts literally closed for most of August in that most judges took off for the summer and after the 4th of July nothing much went on until labor day. I have pretty much retained that mind set refusing to wear stockings after June 15th and keeping my sandals (my special court sandals) on until the chill of September required closed toe shoes.

Though I am resisting the more restricted footwear, I have delved back into practice this week as I trotted the kids off to school I followed the yellow brick road back to the courthouse and am set for the fall business of divorce.

Many times I have been asked when my was my busy season and the two cycles which are pretty much constant are the middle of September and the middle of January. As the kids head back to school their parents realize that Fall should bring a new lifestyle and that may not involve the other parent any longer. Now before the vigor of the holidays starts to kick in it is time to clean house and sweep out our lives.

As your lawyer, and your confidant I stand at the ready saying goodbye to the Silly Season and hello to responsibility. See you in Court.